i created a fictitious sister as i imagined her to be. i can continue my make believe sister to give me courage when the sister i have depresses me. huh, never occurred to me before. new thinking. i can accept the live one and not have to say goodbye to the one i wanted. i can live with this. no wonder there are so many changeling stories cross culturally. others have been disappointed too. applies to both.
sitting waiting at seniors 9;46 #2 car. i thought about doing my libraries and left county at home. i can do city. tomorrow being wed late hours. so maybe county fry. maybe both tomorrow. oh, i'm trying to run from my feelings by doing. i have to feel my feelings to change them.
when i first got here no signal and now weak. does it strengthen over time? is it like brain synapse that over time continuous use creates rut. i keep forgetting chrome has clock. i keep looking at phone. i decided to go libraries tomorrow bathroom break. tv listening to right wing antiabortion seem sane until they claim half of abortions are black to reduce population. so they have more blacks to shoot i'm guessing. funny how pro life don't care about kids after they're born only before.
i have two other big karaoke in back closet. i'm thinking of getting a small boom box for living room. took me half hour digging. checked for peroxide in side room none. now listening cd and resting. my sit bones are sore. energy is moving.
nothing on tv. i'm feeling delightfully bored. i like it. no trauma drama disasters.
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