grilled cheese b'fast

always a delight.  

feeling sad and stressed

seniors I remembered 2 days until mom's death day.  

the body remembers.  

I'm waiting to call Sean Koy CSAA.  office opens 8 am.  I have all day.  

Eric Winberg got the message works for 2 attorneys Chris Rivera and Barbara Olsen.  Barbara is mine.  

Sean returned my call Eric is San Jose office.  

only 83 degrees I'll soak and stretch 4 pm.  left 5:30 for Cup library.  picked up Louise CD and Eddie Murphy Coming to America 1 & 2.

Grocery outlet salad, watermelon juice, grilled cheese, mini pizza, imitation crab, rice crackers.

brought in lunches

new things to try.  

brand new Day-Mary Consumer Cellular 611 fixed my phone-PAID Phone and City

I feel a little hope.  Louise.  

Eric CSAA?  called 12:38 yesterday while I was Fair-ing.  I put everything in my car.  He just said he was from CSAA no case number or details.  I white pages reversed look up said the phone belonged to Mariana Fe Rivera 732 Kineo Ct, Oakley, Ca 94561.  so I called and left a message with Sean Koy.  

seeing double entries in my Consumer Cellular invoice I called 611.  Mary was so helpful.   and I now have access to my back up phone mails.  

I voted.   productive day.  

new behavior I didn't return anything.  I'm acting normal putting myself first. 

Grocery Outlet bargain Market.  

GRIMM-senior health fair

best fair ever.  

I enjoyed Fred and I picked up Walter's lunch while at his meeting.  I puzzled and Walter walked around picking up goodies.  he came back 3 times.  I guess he appreciated it.  

he's enjoying engaging with the senior center.  new behavior.  

home 3:30.  ate carnitas salad and tuna burrito.  I fell asleep watching GRIMM and woke 7:30 thinking it was Saturday.  SURPRISE!!  I felt rested.  

you tube hi jack

Oprah interview of Douglas Stuart.  Spirit is powerful.  you tube 'A New Douglas Stuart novel'.  

Diana 2nd car event this month hit and run on freeway led me to charge my phone finding Toki message cancelled lunch dental event.  I hope sinus.  

I'm enjoying puzzle I'll pool after Cody bookmobile.  wringer broken. 

perfect only Walter at lunch 11:30.  he left early I can puzzle.  

2:30 I decided on Sunny pick up hot spot.  I stopped at Chipotle for carnitas and Trader Joe sunflower and cheese puffs.  next to each other.

Life is good and getting better.    

being a responsible adult

going over my bills.  I feel OK.  the dread and anxiety come and go like the tides, the sine wave of life.  the threat of lawsuit at least I'm not biologically related to her like my crazy sisters.  

I'm enjoying my romantic glitter Josephine Wall puzzle of unicorn swans and beautiful lady against the universe.  I'm not distracting myself from physical or emotional pain.  

lunch with Trudy, Ken, Fred, Toki, Walter.  I love when people I like like each other.  

no whopper Wednesday in May.  I used a coupon for 2 Jr + 2 fries.  so delicious.  dinner.

home 3 pm.  watched Jeopardy Wheel then bed.  a good day.

b'fast of raw peas mayo goat cheese-taco Tuesday Jack in Box

and Savers seniors.  there's one across the street.  Woo Hoo!!  I bought 2 dresses and jersey headbands I can use for wrist wallet $15.

new food.  Grocery Outlet microwave pepperoni grilled cheese sandwiches and beef stew.  so good.  49 cent avocados.  home for a feast.  

Star Wars day-PAID Bartolo $70

I drove the back way and avoided the clean up trucks perfectly.  home 3:30 pm.

Walter doing better processing grief his own way.  got me chicken soup.  I ate with rice.  

Louise is so wonderful

listening to her drove away my dread.  I actually awoke happy.  

I'm borderline happy and sad feeling tired.  I'm pampering myself.  nothing on TV I'm enjoying the silly Librarians.  every popular show is all about the relationships..  we love family replacements.  

survived another one-PAID DISC-ZERO PGE

how did I miss Table 19?  2017 movie.  uplifting.  bad reviews.  its imperfections keep it interesting.  

my fascination with Grimm is my theory of embryo development and how some get stuck at lizard or wolf stages never being human only looking human.  explains a lot of questionable behavior and why God allows it.  

Gloria was at St J.  I shared Walter's difficulties and specifically how to release grief.  she gave me her donuts.  I ate 2 PBJ & chips felt so sleepy.  home 2 pm.  I considered paying Bartolo feeling too tired.  my days of forcing myself beyond my limits are over.  new behavior.  

I picked up 5 seasons of Grimm.  I'll start with Librarians season 1.

brand new me chooses better-I AM BLESSED

May/June.  I went back into home to get county returns.  +.4 mile.  I left the bag of returns by the front door.

I finished the cat zodiac 500 puzzle.  I am a Capricorn.  puzzle so cute.  I love cute.  

I can't get to PCH sweeps closed so I'm done there.  I'm listening to Louise.  

I learned if I click on the year all posts are visible.  or it shows month by month.  I kept searching to view today's post to edit.  

I started Fancy Cats puzzle 750.  

Walter in rare form trying to get thrown out of lunch.  Fred and Toki helping calm him down.  

I picked up 10 at Cup library had to turn in Louise CD.  I'm set.  

Sunny hot spot pick up 5/8 same day return city.  I wanted Safeway $5, no pulled pork I bought chips and 2 corn dogs.  DINNER.

bookmobile-I don't know-too much death pain-Korean gal Soon

 hot spot went offline.  and Walter in a lot of pain.  

Sunny I paused hot spot at 17/59 resumed hold today ready tomorrow(?).  I can keep city 'til next Sat.  

not feeling Savers.  Walter got me HUGE left over plate lunch.  he acted like for himself then offered to me.  Hilde put out peas carrots Walter took 2 and hard penne then later put out plates.  Walter is going for broke.  he didn't even blink.  

I puzzled 'til 4, mailed my life insurance, home 4:15 made shampoo samples, ate chicken and choc cookies.  

I'm so having more fun.  

I Let go

seniors easy.  waiting and watching opening from car.  I can enjoy.  

dread is under the surface.  May-June.  

I'm exhausted from attempting to control my life instead of letting it unfold.  

Gohan and Gail new staff in Dino's office.  Denise new nurse.

I love my lunch buddies.  they make my life worth living.  

dinner was Wednesday whopper added avocado and lemon mug cake dessert.  

Savers tomorrow.?  

beef broccoli brown rice-Koyama & Costello

lunch good for a change.  

seniors 7:13 am casual.  

after lunch met newbie Oren called daughter Lydia weird I took offense.  then excuse she's 25 living at home me "probably 'cause her dad calls her weird."  HOW DARE HE!!  he needs to be a parent and protect not abuse her.  

homeward I detoured to Chipotle for carnitas on gift card.  since Sprouts close I walked clearance bought grilled salmon.  

4 pm mail CSAA Koyama & Costello what to expect letter, it could be 2 years brochure and Unity prayer letter from 4/14 Tuesday.  

seniors 6:45

when I first started coming here it was the last place I brought mom Kaiser mandated to continue her health coverage after her taking dad's pills.  

CVS? I need fish oil-1,004,104,886 PCH tokens=PAID CITI

such fun!  $tree Sunny 8 am wonderful.  I looked at everything.  jeweled hair clip, 2 b'fast burritos, $6 pink plastic clogs, gas treatment, 2 fish oil, gem pen, tapioca pudding, propel 20 oz $2.30, pineapple bits, English muffins, gas treatment=$23.57.  

1964 My Fair Lady astonished me.  I began my love of the English language.  class distinctions were obvious to me.  Jon Lovitz saying "I'm a good girl I am" makes me laugh every time.   

I prefer naked strawberries-lost hematite bracelet

even green they taste very fresh.  

I went to seniors talked at length with Amber going through similar divorce but with 2 girls.  I shared my stored energy theory.  

no tax day record of trying to pay water online getting frozen out then driving the half mile to pay at city hall.  I went back to edit posts.  

after picking up St Just lunch and chocolate cake I ate all the strawberries in front of the library fireplace.  copy room being occupied.  weather keeping people away.  I got so relaxed and sleepy I prefer to nap at home.  I decided to check out First Baptist rummage.  I looked for protein shaker, bottoms no tops.  lots of magnets, binder clips, lotions, shampoo etc.  My Fair Lady.  fun toys $13. 

home at 2 pm raining.  watched TV 'til 7:30 bed.  

processing smog reg-remembered gas forgot phone 1

I have my Spare phone charged.  

1,004,104,886 PCH tokens.  no more free games.  

2 pm home remembered rummage sale 'til 5 decided tomorrow 9-5.  unless after school.  no parking now.  I'm having fun relaxing.  most fun in my life.  

Tex chicken stew lunch Walter and I extra.  and I remembered mug cake 3 T mix to 2 T water 2 minutes micro.  lemon cake like pudding with my fresh strawberries.  I am a Genius.  I put extra mix in glass bottle for easy access.  I'll have another.  

Sleep

I think it's when we return to Spirit.  

I think I'm finally getting through to Walter.  he went off with Gloria after lunch.  Fun Fun Silly Willy.  Fred, Trudy, Kenny, Gloria, Toki, Walter.  my fun family.  Paula gave us Boston cream pie.  I love parties.  

I'm thinking of Eric and his dad Frank.  such tragedy.  I can't understand people making trouble unless they just have it too good.  they don't know trouble.  Eric's death day 6/13 mom's 5/13.  

Frank's murder Thursday March 12, 1998.  the trial is online.  horrifying.  Eric was a witness and endured the trial.  Adan Hernandez killed more than Frank.  reading his history it was only a matter of time before he killed someone.  public record.  

I'd never read it before.  I had only heard general details from the family.  no mention of Eric riding in the ambulance as Frank died.  

so the engagement party was Wednesday night.  from joy to.......

I decided to look for 2 piece windshield at O'Reily  $20 r/t $8 at Ross.  I bless and release.  next door India 3 lbs almonds $16 tomatoes $2.49.  Smart Final strawberries $2.49 small avocados 2/$1.  

I read Canterville Ghost on Gutenberg.org.  

traditional Earth day

I actually feel good this morning.   watching BBC "ghosts".  my family.  ninnies begging for constant attention.  no wonder I was always feeling exhausted.  I was the only adult even at 8.  

BBC 2019 feels fresh.  so many good British ghost comedies.  "Canterville Ghost", "Ghost & Mrs. Muir", "Blithe Spirit".  "Topper".  "I Married a Witch".  "High Spirits".

CSAA Sean Koy sent my case to litigation.  he's sending me info by mail.  thank you.  they've been patient and kind.  

I puzzled seniors before and after lunch w/Trudy, Ken, Fred, Toki, Walter.  2:30 Savers walkabout 3 bags nylon suede yarn $8+.  Gro O coconut water $1.99, new frozen dinner $2.99, peas $1.29.  most excellent.  

I am willing to follow spirit-Paid Disc, PGE

sleep is a miracle.  scientists know nothing of how we sleep.  

I am at peace.  I love to sleep.  

I let go.  

I called S Kohlwaies has referred to legal dept.  didn't respond to my v mail.  he sent to litigation dept.

Walter gave me 2 poly lace curtains.  I walked Walmart paid PGE.  

I walked Savers found shampoo $6 and $13 dress to exchange for shorts and bath suit.  so much fun walking and looking.  Grocery Out 2 goat cheese frozen combo, amino $4, lavender 4 inch $5.  

Sean 719-534-4903 litigation specialist in Co.  missed his call message to mail to me any info.  

Louise is my S Hero--->1,003,559,886 PCH tokens-PAID DISC-new OTC

her example gives me courage.  I went to bed early and I woke early.  I listen to her on You tube.  she's healing my heart.  

she passed 8/30/2017 the same year as Eric 6/13.  

I think it was Isaac Asimov who chose to write at 3 am when the world was the quietest.  I feel at peace.  

on Friday Walter asked about my anxiety then kept interrupting me.   we were like an Abbot Costello act Who's on First.  

Tommy Walker Meyer 1947 Oh-1994 Ca.  47 yrs old.  

Walter dug up baby lavender so they'll live.  

dreamed of drama phone call from Mit

so depressing.  my pain over everything.  I divorced X because I knew he'd die like his dad.  I couldn't stay around.  I wouldn't torture myself. 

the court and scam elder abuse is pain from my sisters embezzling mom's estate, threats of eviction, physical violence.  I didn't want them prosecuted.  I didn't want them in jail.  I had to retain Susan M Kanclier $5K.  worth every penny.  

mitzi's boys came to me for college money when the sisters had all the estate cash.  ludicrous.  I worked part time school part time took me 6 1/2 years they made fun saying I'd never graduate after X quit working.  well, I did graduate.  the only one.  never even a card or phone congratulations no acknowledgement whatsoever.   

I could be angry but too ludicrous.  a waste of time and energy.  

Karen Kuek is bringing all the pain back.  all the humiliation and abuse.  listening to Louise my wounded child is healing.  "my heart is unfurling".  my stomach is relaxing.  

I returned Alice and picked up Cup Ghosts BBC original series.  I'd seen info online.  then I remembered and checked Target elastic found at Michael's $6, Ross no windshield cover, Safeway frozen crispy chicken $7 got cash back.  all in 2 hours.  

TYGJ-999,699,886 tokens--->1,000,059,886

I'm tired of being the strong one.  the chrome crashed.  restore. 

my baby emotions are rising to the surface.  I must be safe.  otherwise it would stay safely stuffed down.

chrome 57% charge from internet connection.  I had Louise playing.  

checking accident report wae so wrong.  Kuek, Lai, O'brien.  3 against me and Burgos faulty description.  

I'm so glad I won't live forever and have to put up with the nonsense.  

WOW!  I googled me Rev and found X's obit, Hans's second wife Marjet, Albert Bernardine's second husband, Mary Martinez not Martha.  I'm reeling amazed.  

listening to Louise "if you're tired of Being Strong"  yes yes absolutely since 8 years old everything is my responsibility.  

I checked book sale none at Sunny this month.  

I don't know how Hot ready @ central-999,169,886 tokens 9:30 pm

yesterday still 26/37 and today ready?  returned Sunny on March 22.    TYGJ.  131 waiting.  

we are only limited by their minds.  997,934,886 tokens 8 am.  

I called Stephen left voice mail re Alicia sending e mail r/t fax.  I hope he's healthy he sounded froggy.

what did people do before electronics.  everyone on their devices.

Walter is afraid he can't change.  impossible to be more powerful than God.  

I have to remember my wonderful future.  

I decided on spam sushi for dinner and $5 cake for dessert.  Safeway gift card.  

Back to business-I'm feeling wordless pain

infant pain I'm healing.  hurt inflicted before I had language.  

I called Stephen Kohlwaies @ 8 am.  still no professional courtesy of a reply from brentwood law wanted fax from CSAA office.  I remembered America's Tires on the way, they filled tires.  Alicia Cortes @ SJ recommended e mail for more direct delivery.  

Safeway clearance peanut MMs, stevia $4, 4 2/$ chips.  Savers b suit 3 pr pants 50% orange, grey tag pkg new elastic rolls 1 black 1 white $6.  Grocery O fish, peas, salad.

SCORE!!

Both Glorias encouraged county SCAM & FRAUD ALERT 1-2 pm Gabriel will be at May 8th Wellness Fair.  

Happy Tax Day-PAID PHONE ONLINE-28/58 or 26/37

my feet are vibrating.  I wore shoes so cold this morning.  I left S K a detailed v mail.  I hope he's connecting w/them.  brentwood lawyers trying to intimidate me.

I need a break.   I forgot to lock clothes and left shampoo in shower and God took care, OK.

PCH is changing policy today.  now must be a paying member.  997,654,886 tokens $20 minimum to enter give away.  

1 pm PCH is back.  

I renewed chrome.  I'm feeling exhausted.  lunch w/Trudy, Kenny, Fred, Toki, Walter.  Ruben goody bag chips great help.  

fed birds, general sort trunk -29/58 Sunny-city 28/37-online GLITCH

city glitch online to pay utilities I drove and walked around.  WOW!  I'm so much better than 2001.  5 pm works fine.  6 pm went to Jack Box 4 tacos.  

Karen Kuek hired Brentwood LA to sue me.  I called Stephen Kohlwaies already gone home Jason Soriano very helpful.  I left voicemail and detailed information on pages.  S Kohlwaies adjuster had requested but no action from Ryan@brentwoodlaw.  SHAKEDOWN!!  

I called Silent Unity.  

I'm remembering-31/58 & 29/37

my shake.  etc.  I don't need distractions to avoid pain.  

my denim strap dress fits perfectly.  

found my green car key YIPPEE!! 35/59 city 30/37

in a lunch bag bottom pocket waiting for seniors to open.  soaked and stretched.  sprinkling I'm driving cautiously.  

I picked up St. Just lunch and weekend bags.  at central eating lunch in copy room AARP magazine ad for oxygen tank $10/10 L at CVS.  I made 1 call 15% of phone charge.  aisle 6 & 17.

I stopped J in B 4 tacos $3.69 online.  

home 5 I reset denim straps on sweetheart dress and seersucker.  I watched TV then bed great day.  

started raining 7 am- 38/59-PAID CITI

after I got out of car waiting for the Seniors to open.  I stayed and played on puzzle 'til 3 PM close

Citibank has wi-fi.  I bought 2 fish $6 remodeled BK.  

I decided to go when ready-38/59

I've always set a time, not today.  I was ready and came.  did one water fill up for home.  

just me and Walter for lunch.  no buffers.  

my favorite dance-abundance.  I'm requesting 'Ghosts' from county.  

so far OK 41/59 city 33/37

I finished Goldilocks puzzle.  Hyperfocus.  my back & hips hurt.  ignore pain.  my ADD may be a reaction to family abuse neglect.  

chrome stayed at 99% all night finally 100.  I'm distracting myself.  

maybe I'm not ADD.  maybe a coping device to ignore emotional pain.  being ignored or misunderstood can cause emotional pain especially in autism w/o words.  

I'm loving the protein drink.  made some home and drank it here.

ST JUSTIN rummage Saturday April 18 8/1.  I asked Jane made a big deal telling me so arrogant told me she knows everything stick with her.  not worth it.  she said 15th.  

First Baptist Church Friday 24/Sat 25 9/5.  

I'm improving no update revert to draft and republish-43/59 & 36/37

extra chicken wrap a whole whole grain tortilla so much better than hot lunch.  and a protein bar at 3.  lunch with my chosen family Fred, Toki, Walter.  food eh company excellent.  deli meat stew, peas, mushy carrots cauliflower I tossed.  practically no noodles.  

I'm hanging out at seniors.  I pondered Tuesday senior Savers.  

Caleb gave me extra fold up dolly I have bungees and cording.  better quality than mine.  

I went to BK $5 Whopper Jr. tiny bourbon burger good to OK.  I added Vicky avocado.  I cooked onion from chicken wrap for b'fast eggs.  lots of chicken.  

back to the grind 49/59-36/37 Bartolo yard just as I left-day #14 no hot

polishing me shiny.  I found all my books.  WHEW!!  I looked in the front seat countless times and TA DA!!  

I dreamed I lost bags and my things.  it was just stuff.  my sisters/thieves. 

Vicky offered me preferred avocados I took 4 she gave Inge bag of 10.  HUH!  

I stayed at seniors puzzling Goldilocks 3 bears 'til 6 after wheel entry.  went to SC BK couldn't find my wallet.  went home looked, called CVS OTC cancelled getting new card.  then called Discover Diamond to freeze my account no new action since Saturday Grocery O purchase.  so definitely misplaced.

then looked in Sat grocery bag TA DA!! found wallet!  I have to stop scaring myself.  I called Discover robot easily unfroze my account 2 questions.  

I made strawberry salad w/can chicken delicious.  I still want BK.  tomorrow.

3 hours of hula -37/37-53/59-MAILED LIFE

I remembered X probably had stop over from VN.  so many loving memories of my relatives.   funny how the memories and feeling of love came back watching and listening to Hawaiian Rainbow & Kumu Hula.  and X hated the thought of Hawaii.  must have had a bad experience stop over from Viet Nam.  

I soaked and stretched at seniors.  finished Seascape puzzle.  no St Justine I stopped Safeway 2 corn dogs, $2.49 pastry pork Pie, $1.98+CRV 4 butterscotch cream soda so good.  all on gift card.  

my life was such hell and Heavenly now.  

so much enthusiasm-57/59 city 41/37-PAID BARTOLO all dressed up just getting home

I couldn't find Costco bill.  using receipts $75 by next Fri.  seniors early for bird food and 2 lavender volunteers.  center closed tomorrow Sunny open.

I called and talked to Debbie, 14 already on wait list.  Bridget gave me homemade raita for lunch.   I am blessed.  

no Cody today Earth day at Triton.  maybe Savers.  I'm enjoying snacks at central.  Paula gave me half an apple pie and baklava.  Cindy had more GS rocky road cookies.  I'm enjoying treating my inner child.  

AND I HAVE TOMORROW FREE.  

Tommy Walker Meyer and Sophia both autistic.  never eye contact.  they appreciated I didn't care.  

April fools-61/59=43/37

 Sunny plant sale 4/12 Sunday 10-2.  

lovely mellow day overcast humid.  I'm resting puzzling snacking.  Ruben gave me 2 sourdough St Justin sandwiches chips in goody bag.  I prefer sourdough.

Gloria asked about Sunny lunch on Friday city closed.  I just checked open salmon.  not feeling it.

Sunny 67/59-city 43/37

I'm stunned.  started sprinkling just before I drove to seniors.  

I'm feeling so weird.  my body continues to change.  

I'm following my feelings.  soak and stretch in tub.  3 bowls of lunch veg pasta w/ Fred and Walter.  Ruben gave me 2 St J sandwiches and Fritos I shared in egg sandwiches.  I'm feeling blessed.  

Copy room vacation.  today is Savers senior day I'm not feeling it.  

end of the month heebie jeebies.

I'm sitting central copy room 45/38-69/59

Ruben gave me Saturday bag of snacks.  

FOMO-fear of missing out is survival oriented.  being part of the herd.  safety in numbers.  

microwave mug cake 3T mix+ 2 T water for 60 seconds high.

AIR FRY HERBS 72/59 FIGURED OUT HOW TO SAVE POST

300 for 2-4 minutes.  I'm going to find other things to cook.  not potatoes.  

page preview will save when update won't work.  then I reopen page and edit.  if update doesn't work I open preview options and use update.

copy room is perfect.  I listen to my subliminals, eat my lunch and snacks.  mmmmmmm........

I FEEL LIKE EMPRESS OF THE UNIVERSE. 

Sunny 74/59 day 5

Central hot spots 48/37.  I've had Sunny 3 times.  SC has no accountability.  I get to play and experiment, test life.  

lunch good with Fred, Toki, Walter.  Salome pointedly sat elsewhere until Fred and Toki left then came over to say hi and walk away.  so I stayed to talk to Walter to debrief.  when Martin came I left for $5 college Safeway Big Shoulders pulled and boneless BBQ pork delicious with lunch mash.  

dessert Sunshine chocolate cups bake in parchment squares and coconut water w/chocolate delicious and nutritious.  

so good to watch TV w/my feet up.

w/o 4 day-

and I'm OK.  I remembered and got Costco gas +$1.06/gal from 3 weeks ago $4.20.  made up war with middle east.  

home to rest.  new me be have.  

I'm OK day 3-80/59

 I'm getting used to freedom and loving life.  

day 2 no hot spot-85/59

Walter won't admit that coffee and chocolate candy for b'fast contributes to his acid stomach.  

back in the saddle.  8 am soak and stretch.  lunch pretty good today beef broccoli brown rice coleslaw.  and adopted 2 potatoes, mac cheese, Ruben 2 juice and 2 chips I ate.  besides I remembered central library yard sale discards: micro plate, various small vases.  

I'm checking and cleaning Wysocki puzzle 300 21X15.  I'm playing and snacking.  my happy childhood.  

Magnesium from dollar tree-87/59

it works.  I slept great and awoke energized.  Louise Hay the soil is depleted due to "modern" agriculture".  

I finished the Yosemite puzzle.  and lunch turkey burger tasty.  Fred, Toki. Walter.  Ruben gave me last piece of blueberry creme cake in container.  very good.  

I found 'Hatari', 'Cactus Flower, Beach Boys karaoke in central book store.  upstairs at puzzle young rudeness expected me to do all the work.  so I'm resting in copy room listening to Louise.  enjoying my snacks.  

"what you appreciate appreciates" Louise.  

living room avalanche-87/54-returned hot spot

my third area.  the front door laundry falling was a balancing act.  and the kitchen mess all barricades against the sisters.  camouflage.  the only way to keep my stuff.  they take my things to inconvenience me.  huh, they want me to kill myself.  dad's alcoholic dad hung himself in the front yard. 

theta waves.  

front door shoe rack

fell apart.  and I remained calm.  it was slightly interesting.  I'll have to pick it up.  

I went to seniors 7:58 stretched and soaked.  I bought roast beef lunch bag then St Justin 10:21 no line and weekend bag.  I relaxed and played walking through the book sale.  I ate the potato bun from yesterday and juice.  back to the bag sale 10/$5.  

took me 2 hours to re assemble and sort through shoes and plastic bags.  

I'm Matilda/Melinda

I waited patiently and renewed my chrome when no holds.  so I'm clear.

old timer Viet Nam vet trying to involve me I'm out talking him on Trump.  he tried to intimidate my use of chair by claiming I had athletes foot which he already has in great detail on his head, butt, feet.  

Progress not perfection

 perfectly imperfect.

best day yet 88 degrees

 4:30 starting to cool 86.

I wore my new denim dress.  used new 100% cotton beach tie dye towel.  

Matilda gets adopted 1996 movie

not me.  

I soaked and stretched.  lunch with Fred, Toki, Walter.  Salome sat at the end.  she wanted Walter to do something he declined so she's resentful.  

lunch was HORRIBLE fatty tough corned beef.  I'm delightfully spoiled by St Justin.  TYGJ.  

I relaxed, puzzled, left library 6:30, walked  senior Savers 2 new towels, denim dress $15.  

WOO!! home 8 pm.

the psychology behind buying

secretsofpropaganda.com highjacked Louise Hay

Dan Kennedy marketing mesmerism.  Russell Brunson new Tony Robbins.

I feel exfoliated

I'm playing.  I soaked and stretched.  lunch was Fred and Walter.  I forgot I had corned beef at home so I gave Ruben the dinner and Elizabeth the chicken covered in red bell pepper.  

I returned Maria Twitty's call.  an hour of rambling scripture I already knew.  she's still grieving her divorce making excuses for him.  

I left library 5:30.

My Dreams of You 2024

soothing.  I'm feeling shaky.  when life feels great I'm afraid my family will stomp on me.  a lifetime of abuse takes practice to erase.  I'm doing it evidenced by my fun times.  

apple pie and ham and cheese.  my stomach is queasy from the dairy.  the cottage cheese was worth it.  

I'm re configuring my life.  I found 3 squeeze flashlights and I'm giving the one with tags to Leta with the valentines swirly straw cup and stretchy turtle hematite bracelet.  I decided to store my dinosaur and Disney back packs.  'fun fun silly willy' Pinky.  

Leta went to her Anthony's b'day party and I won bingo twice.  Marie invited me to sit with the senior center.  Jane and Ed were their argumentative selves.  they insisted on more cards than they could handle and complained throughout.  Ed insisted he wasn't stupid when he complained and demonstrated his stupidity to the room.  

I went to Central to puzzle and fill the 4 water bottles I used to rinse my car.  very satisfying day.  

BLISS-PI Day 3.14152-TOMORROW ST JUST BINGO 1:30

affirmations set my course for my miracles.  1976 I started affirmations Sondra Ray "I deserve Love" 1986 'Course in Miracles' in Gilroy.

"My Dreams of You" Hallmark movie moved me.  sounds unbelievable I know.  I actually liked it.  

I soaked and stretched observing Dave and the model.  he's used to being adored and always faces his audience like a sunflower following the sun.  heliocentric.  

I'm eating and playing and having my happy childhood.  Sprouts had double crust apple pie for $3.14 Pi Day.

more good days.

two days in a row-gave Mallory best friend Oscar this Sunday-paid phone & city

as I leave this planet I now have fond memories.  Bob Hope hosted the Oscars 19 times "thanks for the memories".  "Big Broadcast 1938".  

the senior's suit spinner is leaking water.  still works.  

AAHH it came to me my itchy ribs.  I'm tickling myself.  yesterday I was tempted to fake throw an orange at Cody while shouting 'think fast!' and successfully refrained.  and it occurred to me that switching the table numbers at lunch would be an interesting prank and refrained.  mom was always pulling pranks meant to instill fear and anxiety.  not good ones.  

Fred, Toki, Walter all TGIF'd so I went to County.  auto return machines not hooked up, I was told to toss in bin.  

Sunshine asked if I went to Senior Suicide focus group when I sat next to her.

Louise 1976 blue book.  I'm listening and practicing at Central.  "

1:30 Mallory meeting

I am blessed by so much food.  2 extra lunches, Walter's tuna celery lettuce tomato, half of Fred's.  Cindy's 2 PB cookies.  tiny potato pollock hot meal.  I ate tuna and feel sleepy.  

Thomas, Vera, Inge, David, Martin and Sunshine came to Suicide website focus group.  an hour well spent.  snacks of fresh strawberries and PB crackers.  2 waters.  

new behavior after 3 am bathroom break I ate lasagna b'fast and slept 'til 8.  so rested.  I dressed and was in the pool by 9.  Cody bookmobile 10.

I decided to let Sunny expire today.  I already have a central copy and it isn't that good.  

central library David showed up at 5 I gave him wooden red bird puzzle Sammy there I asked about his niece.  lovely dinner of 2 fish, fresh strawberries.  

lasagna b'fast

I'm feeling happy.  my back is screaming and I'm OK with it.  I'm lying in a warm cozy.  

back to work.  lunch with Fred, Trudy, Kenny, Toki, Walter still upset that Gil approached him yesterday and everyone scattered.  practically evaporated.  he had to confront his creating his experience.  he was quite crabby.  

library I finished 2 puzzles and my walking Savers.  I have so much food.  Ruben gave me his goody bag and Walter his tuna.  I walked Gro O and bought coconut drink.  only one left.  home at 6 pm.  last night I drove the expressway, tonight I drove through town.  more peaceful.  

near sight not subject to size only distance

I find that interesting.  autism makes life interesting.  Inge offered note pads and pens I took 2.  

a sneezy day.  pollen moderate somewhere.  

I don't know what I'm feeling emotionally.  I'm feeling scattered.  an internal wind storm.  

I went to Savers after lunch and the library.  the new boxed air fryer senior discount $17.49, new red roller $4.20, facial cloths $1.40.  Grocery Outlet I bought lasagna $4.99 and salad $1.49.  so good.   

Pay Citibank by tomorrow-PAID

I'm using DST to advantage.  new behavior.  I usually just feel resentment to change.  typical autism reaction.  I'm relaxing into today.  I'm deep breathing into my feelings.  calming my stomach.  

Until I was 4 and we came from Hawaii to the mainland I was loved.  while arriving at night I saw the landing lights and thought I was in Fairyland.  the next morning was cold drab and loveless.  

DST+1

I changed my clocks.   I thought about laundry and decided to rest.  the smoked corned beef, potato, soda bread was so delicious.  I retrieved the butter from the car.  

ooh, bananas.  calming food.  3 in car.  

I'm feeling so much inner conflict turmoil.  this is what addicts cover up just prolonging the pain.  

1) I am willing to change my thinking.

2) changing my thoughts changes my chemistry.  

3) my chemistry forms my feelings.  

4) my feelings=emotions =energy in motion constructs my experience.  

TCMe-I paid Prop Tax listening to Louise

I'm resting for St Justin's  St Patrick dinner courtesy of Lita Cairel.  I don't know if I like it.  I feel inner resistance.  I don't know.  doesn't feel authentic.  not my resistance.  just stored in my gut.

I'm practicing attentiveness.  

I feel resentful of the years I spent attending to a family that never appreciated me.  this is all coming out of my tissues.  I can feel it in my gut.  

I've been truly blessed.  Lita shared her beautiful, caring and supportive family with me.  they included me in everything, made me feel so welcome.  my family in Hawaii is here.  the family my parents denied me by moving here.  

chrome froze

the battery had to run down to shut off.  only took me half hour to restore pages.  I still got stressed and blamed myself.  

lovely days.  library coughing man probably making everyone sick.  

Mirreck gave me a dozen grapefruit from his tree.  I'm feeling guilty.  bad family induced habit.  delicious after left over lunch for dinner.  

I'm having fun no time to blog

seniors 8 am, lunch, Fred and Walter, 4 extra pcs fish.  woo hoo!  I rested at central playing in the copy room listening to healing puzzling.  

Lasagna b'fast-paid Bartolo-Savers Orange tags

I forgot to fill up the gas this morning, by afternoon already up .25/gal.  last night's news warned of rising prices due to war.

I soaked, swam, puzzled, then lunch Fred, Toki, Walter, Salome.  I still had yesterday's lunch in the car I forgot.  I walked Savers looking at everything deciding on 2 NEW backpacks $5+$4.  I decided I wanted to drive calmly so I drove back roads.  calm restful, relaxing.  

lovely warm 65 degree day I unloaded the trunk and lunches.  

Heaven

I release all forms of sabotage.  

seniors ok I walked Savers 30% off.  Grocery Outlet lasagna $5 and coconut pineapple $.99.  

water salt 7:30 am-paid Discover bill by phone due date

2 bags Home Depot delivered.  2 pm I put it in the garage.  I used 3 plastic tubs and loaded half a bag, 20 lbs. in softener.

I checked Raley's ad and picked up dinner and b'fast, 4 cans of almonds $4.71 ea 7 oz, grapefruit mix $1.50, salad, cottage cheese, coconut electrolyte drink.  

Heaven.  

'Better than Fine' 2023 film-IRAN WAR DAY ONE

odd little movie.  I'm watching 'Neighborhood.'  I put out garbage.  

lovely do nothing day.  

I remembered to get clean socks from the car and rolled up the windows.    

hungry

fish & cauliflower b'fast.  I put out house recycle and filled supplements.  

St Justin lunch Sunshine and Gloria, Ruben.  one cheese and ham cheese.  doritos, lay's.  3 funerals parking I got last space in front of church partially blocked by hearse.  I suppose I could have walked from library.  

I ate my lunch, read, listened to healing in the copy room.  how perfect.  I rested then puzzled.  

I went to Savers Yellow tags and bought a dinosaur purse and dream catcher.  

end of month blues-ST JUST 3/7 SAT St Pat dinner LITA Walter Cairel-senior bingo 3/15 1:30

I'm wearing my new denim.  cheers me up to enjoy new.  

PCH sign in required so weird.  lunch with Walter 2 extra fish.  I went to Safeway last 3 bacon grilled cheese chips.  returned to seniors to pick up roast beef and turkey just as Trudy and Kenny leaving gave them one.  perfect.  3 pm snack so good.  I feel substantial.  

home at 5 Bartolo dumped trash in recycle I called him and put bag in trash to clean up.  he showed up as I was straightening out mess.  I talked about Bayline cleaning up and Bartolo broke umbrella.  he knows better doesn't do better.  there is a plastic of oil he claims was in green bin I told him I can put out May city clean up.  again Bartolo claiming he'd put out lumber scrap.  he hasn't.  he had another car denting at fault.  I shared my experience with SALA, Karen Kuek, and CSAA.  

ready last night-HOT SPOT

I thought as much.  I can collect my hot spot.  

Paula gave everyone so many goodies, over 2 doz doughnuts, baklava, half a p'nut butter choc pie, bread, croissants.  the sugar fairy.  

b'fast was a pork chop I slow nuked last night with Italian dressing.  3/$2.69 Lucky's Eggland $3.99 and 2 clearance toasted sesame seeds $2.69.  bacon grilled cheese Lay's $3.99 too much.  tomorrow I'll check Safeway 2/$5 Friday.  

I considered Savers maybe later.  at 3 pm Megan said I couldn't listen to chrome.  they allow loud talking just not ME.  I drove to Sunny Sprouts first 2 salads 98 cents ea.  Ross I tried on 3 dresses, bought 2 denim, resisted buying candy.  returned movies books.  

3/12 senior study-1:30-2:30=24 hr hot spot

oh, darling Mallory.  

yesterday was so weird.  I had to keep signing in.  

Savers?-20/55

 I'm practicing seeing only God.  I need practice.  

I chatted-1:20 pm 25/55

Sunnyvale website doesn't open I chose to chat r/t call and they can't get in either.  interesting.  they'll fix it.  

I spent all of yesterday watching my favorite movies.  I deserve the most fun.  

and today playing at the library.  I ate almond sea salt and chewy.  

Playing 31/55

I soaked and stretched in my new swim suit.  I washed soft leopard gloves.  I have black bean corn salad Walter got me.  2 bananas, 2 juices.  

I finished car puzzle at central.  very relaxing new and different feeling of anticipation.  a new form of anxiety.  

icy car

I took my time getting to seniors, so cold.  I played on the puzzle, showered, lunch Fred, Toki, Walter.  

I love doing only what I want.  my life had been doing what was expected or what others wanted.  

i was going to Savers to walk off Burgos stress when I remembered CVS medicare.  I went to Ross first tried on 3 bathing suits bought one $12.99.  next seven denim dresses bought one $17.99 another $14.99.  Walter's favorite chocolate $5.29 and one for me.  total $71.65.  

CVS BOGO CoQ10 and beets OTC total $50.91.  Oscar statue "best friend" $10.90.  yes I am.

looked at Homes for bacon grilled cheese Lay's chips 2/$5 Friday settled for less salt.  went to College store clerk explained every season 4 new flavors tested may be a one time test.  I found 2 clearance bags Lindor dark strawberry truffles $7.29 ea.  

new puzzles in library copy room-36/55

it came to me that I can do 300 piece puzzles while listening to healing.  

Trudy Kenny, Fred, Toki, Walter green cupcakes.  extra penne pasta.

Chris Burgos Community Service not reg PD so ergo rotten report.  he talked fraud scam noon-1 pm Dino Medar sponsor.  

I walked Savers to calm myself 1:30-4.  I love looking at everything.  I bought $5 purple tag 50% white shirt and small white shelf $1.50.  Grocery Outlet I bought lasagna and peas home via Expy.  

returned Anthony's call to clean up it's been so lovely rainy today.  he's planning on tomorrow clean up.

love my new schedule

weirdly relaxed.  so icy cold.  I used water on frozen windshield.  

air pressure light came on freezing temp.  after lunch I remembered on the way to library stopped in America tires #3.  all cars outside low pressure.  25/32 well 29 cold.  

beef potatoes b'fast-Sunny 37/55

for $6.50 over 4 meals.  I'm enjoying my new bags configuration.  old navy for chrome and pink for phone.

no water heater seniors no massage my back is screaming.   Fred was early Toki called him too.  Walter got me extra meal/slaw I got rice broccoli beef.  Bonnie Judy gave us clearance green mini holiday cupcakes I'll bring back tomorrow for Toki.  

3 pm 24 hour 20 min soak and new massage shower heads.  I didn't know how painful my feet were my back hurt so much.  and I can do Wheel here.  

suddenly remembered St J Lita lunch

lovely relaxed using 24 internet and endless hot water shower.  

Toki left me 2 $25 See's gift card and lovely Valentine's card late last night from her cousin in Soquel I found this morning.  she asked where I went.    

parked second spot lady left crowded lot as I drove in 1:07.  Jane yelled at me for calling Lita Lisa.  eh.  Ed won the first Bingo I won the last black out.  I sat on my purple pillow.  

then central feet up relaxing.  at 5 central closed I went to Sunny and waited to finish Harry Potter puzzle 2 pcs missing.  from there I bought 2 corn dogs and clearance black forest cake ring and $40 change.  

home I ate corn dogs and cooked half green beans and beef & potatoes.  and I ate Simpson doughnut yum.  

Happy Me! 2yrs later-paid phone 611-45/55

I wasn't living my best.  I fed birds, soaked stretched, talked to Dave.  

picked up lunch St Just a repaving shutdown next 2 weeks.  drinking guarana not hungry.   

I decided to pick up "Last Holiday" Queen Latifah not Sir Alec at Cup.  I drove a new route Prune to Tan avoiding traffic.  coming back I drove Gro O side to Savers and lots of parking 10:30-11.  I walked Gro then Savers 50% new arm phone case and huge 50/50 cotton/poly new scarf $3.80.  back at Gro I bought lunch for today, tomorrow and Monday Pres holiday.  Chef Ramsay 10 oz steak ale pie $3.99 and 20 oz beef potatoes $4.99 and $1.29 green beans.  

Central relaxing I forgot my glasses in my car.  ate apple sauce.  4 pm I decided to go to Sunny open 'til 6.  I puzzled Harry Potter 'til close then I walked Sprouts.  everything is still frozen.  I cooked steak pie, and the heated peas were so delicious.  

got petrol before rain-Sunny 47/55

looks like rain.  threatening clouds.  I found the bread for the birds.  Yay! Me!

lunch I got extra real fruit and cake.  I don't remember what else we ate.  

reading "Born Lucky" makes me laugh.  his supportive dad let him feel sorry for himself.  my mom threatened to kill me and terrorized me from infancy.  I was too busy surviving to ever feel sorry for myself.  

I printed Sunny lunch info for Trudy and Little Lisa Big Walter's mom.  so I got to library late and puzzled 'til 4.  

I forgot county.

Mallory puzzle 'gnomes' homes' terrific

I love the strange shapes and bright colors.  feels expensive only $25.  Jim puzzler vetted by Dino.  

lunch good Fred, Toki practically early, Walter late.  caffeine high.  he thought it hilarious I spilled broccoli slaw on myself.  

I want Cali XL for dinner.  last night I had 4 Jack Box tacos.  

Cali XL!  then drove home XPWY.

Mr Kohlwaies 11:40 minutes-49/55

now in Colo Springs from Vegas.  reassured me 10 years of experience adjusting.  if I receive any legal papers from the court CSAA provides an attorney, 30 days to respond to the court.  

filing a court case extends the statute of limitations due to expire in 3 days to infinity.  

I'm getting the stabbing pain back left middle ribs like the accident.  if I support my lower back it eases.  

I feel like I'm really living.  

Sunny 52/55-Stephen Kohlwaies 8:07 am v mail-Karen Kuek

doing what I want.   

I'm waiting on my income tax filing.  2:45 I decided to check my papers in my car trunk.  and found v mail on my phone.  Karen Kuek trying for money again this year.  

BONUS Tina Turner article in magazine I've had, no info in table or cover.

at least I have company.  I'm #21 for taxes.  done 6 pm I puzzled half an hour with David and Sammy, he hasn't shared puzzles I gave him.  good to know.  

I'm getting back $28 from feds, paid $446 last year.  

according to Carl's Jr Hangover Monday-Toki b'day Sunny 56/55

beautiful man in the pool.  model pretty.  

brisk windy sneezy day.  lunch Fred, Toki, Walter.  I gave her card and $40 and oranges Fred took 2.  Inge has recycle.  Danny's $3.02.  then central I gave Sammi both poodle puzzles and large piece 36 child.  

home 6 I forgot the front door mess fell over this morning.  took awhile to clear a path to TV.  I ate Hawaiian chicken lunch extra.  so so.  mac nuts and chips.  

I'm at Sunny 60/55 Super Sunday-paid PGE

I'm so excited.  I'm doing new behavior.  I totally avoided a disaster when my lotion bottle squeezed open in my chrome bag.  I was looking to charge my phone.  I cleaned it up expeditiously.

I watched romances 'til 2, dressed and used Nob wi-fi to check the Container store open.  took Lawrence 60 mph to Prunridge remembered PGE due 10 days detoured to Walmart SJ then continued to Santana Row impossible crowds traffic I pivoted to Savers to walk store found new bamboo skewers $1.50.  Grocery outlet tomatoes $.99 lb, frozen last beef rice $4.99, Chef Ramsey beef ale pie $3.99, peas $1.29 lb.  

driving Lawrence home I considered and discarded Nob for wifi to Blog. totally new ME decided to pick up "UP" hold and enter my sweeps.  

OK Sunny 62/55

ate too many p chips last night ache and nausea from cold.  YAY! no inflammation.  

soaked and stretched 8 am.  7:49 arrival time for car tidy.  my family hated me rather than arrange their own lives to their liking.  I still don't understand their lack of intelligence.  proof of God I suppose.  no one asked Hawking how the impossibly dumb survive.  must be GOD.  

b'fast at 5-Sunny 66/55-SzuSzu

I finished sewing down the lining in Valerie denim.  It's a great feeling well and wanting to do things.   

yesterday I looked at library bookstore cards and found 2 packs of red envelopes.  cards are 4/$1 so I had to pick 2 more.  

gave Fred 6 red envelopes.  he gave me half his beef patty.  Walter is waking up.  he's more thoughtful about creating his best life.  

I rested at central.  puzzled and read.  Sami and his niece and new Szu-Szu.  

only a week sans hot spot 68/55

good thing I check.  the charging electricity is off on first computer upstairs.  

a dummy asked if I were moving out with my gym bag.  I told him it wasn't funny 10 years ago when I started using it to save my back and now lots of people have smartened up.  not him.  

I'm feeling feisty.  lunch with Fred and Walter.  Fred wants 3 new years red envelopes I got from Cody bookmobile after he left.  then I remembered silver dimes and red envelopes.  The library bookstore had 2 packets of fun red envelopes 4/$1 cards I picked 2 more.  

singularity is nearer try googling LOL.  the beliefs of so called self professed genii make me laugh.  Hawking believed our only hope for existence is planetary colonization when we can't even effectively take care of this one.  HA HA!!  he doesn't believe in God.  

nambe #6227-2001 "rare find $39.95"

woke late-Sunny 69/55-mailed life ins-Carlos oil change $97

b'fast spicy beef rice spinach salad.  

I decided I'd just shower and stretch no pool today.  I'm resting.  I considered Savers maybe tomorrow.  or Super bowl Sunday.  

lunch everyone there.  Fred, Toke and quiet Walter on his phone had an epiphany when his lithium battery fit 2 of his tools.  it's all attraction and magnetism.  

I got extra pork gravy lunch.  the girl scout tiny delicious cupcakes.  I may keep them.  

Dr Carlos engine light-free Carl's b'fast burger 2/9-Sunny 72/55-paid Disc phone

I let Walter irritate me and didn't warm up the car.  Paula to the rescue w/cake and snow balls.  

Super Bowl Monday free hangover b'fast burger.  must join the app.  do I want to join?

I love playing mahjongg.  

Inge gave me ding dongs the witch is dead.  lunch was nice Fred, Toke, Walter.  he's getting serious about changing his life.  me too.  more spinach salad from yesterday.  

I drove past St Just on to Savers for 3 hours.  30% off senior day I bought Nambe salt pepper $5, 2 small cooking tongs $4 all for $7.  then I walked Grocery Outlet Chef Ramsay meat pie $3.99 and frozen beef rice $4.99.  girl scout cookies 2/99 cents.  I ate lentils and baked potato.  substantial meal.

Paid Bartolo-Sunny 76/55-Walter check engine-Citibank credit-0-due 2/10

finished seniors puzzle an hour 350 pieces.  and on to exercise.  that man started old fishing lodge puzzle missing and extra pieces.  he puzzles weirdly stacking pieces.

lunch was only Walter.  Fred stopped to say he was lunching with Debi.  I got extra spinach lentil Baked potato.  oh and 2 extra pieces of Inge cake.  

I forgot my sweeps.  I puzzled at central and almost ran down chrome battery.  6%.  I'm reading 'Born Lucky' while charging.

city paid due 2/13-Sunny 82/55

yesterday I forgot wheel.  

I'm wearing Valerie dress I look so good.  seniors I puzzled and showered stretched.  I'm getting a lot of walking from Walter.

St just Charity lunch & weekend 2 donuts strawberry icing and custard.  doritos and I brought Sprouts chips.  2 'ham cheese'.  2 mini apple 'pies'.  

I went to my car for fleece hoodie, bass shirt is too heavy.  The library feels cold means my inflammation is less. 

no hot spot-86/55

and I'm OK.  I thrive.  arrived 7:49 if i wait 'til 8 people are leaving.  all in the timing.  Walter Lisa's son parked next to me we chatted about she only comes for bingo Fridays and Sunnyvale is 3/4 Asian and the food is 10 X fresher.  I talked to him about senior depression getting old losing abilities.  he appreciates me.  at lunch she invited me to St Justin senior lunch/bingo Feb 15.  

Fred, Toke,Walter weird wouldn't eat but took extra salad home.  motivated me to go to Cup via central.  I focused on best parking and got it.  somehow 'Born Lucky' auto renewed despite hold.  I returned and borrowed 2 Aladdin live and anime.  

feeling well I drove to India Cash & Carry loud, crowded, dirty, expensive.  Han Kook Korean clean, bright, serene, expensive.  I proceeded to Nob Hill using wi-fi to check Safeway no and decided on 2 macadamia and cottage cheese.  home I napped after all the walking and trying Sprouts chips.  

found Sunny way in back of trunk. 89/55 hot spot return

probably where PERS DD papers are.  looking for county book 'expectations'.  

Inge's b'day Sumi gave her gold? earrings and Lynn a Whole Foods caramel chocolate cake.  yum.

good soak swim Cody new bookmarks last unicorn, translucent rose fire sword and book dragon.

lunch OK Walter and Toke so late.  

I considered home but drove straight to Sunny 5.9 miles.  I walked Sprouts 5 clearance pineapple chomps all they had $10, 2 big bags $.99 chips.  walked Ross.  

Sunny I returned spot and requested again.  dinner I wanted Cali burger detoured to 24 Safeway for 3 corn dogs 2 clearance 'wicked' chocolates $7.37.  for Inge and Toke b'day.  home 5 pm.  

I did a lot yesterday I'm OK-Benna Savers v mail found my key-green tags 50% off

I heated rice, peas meatloaf.  I'm blessed.  eating triggers my back.  huh.

I was feeling a little off balanced, I'm feeling grounded.  I'm remembering Joe Special.  hamburger onions spinach eggs.  so good.  

I'm reading Louise while listening to you tube.  so many good books.  she works with great writers.  

6:10 and I'm ready.  a little gentle exercise.  

lunch with Trudy Kenny, Fred, Toke, Walter extra potatoes mixed veg.  

feeling calmly excited-orange tags 50% off

seniors was good Fred, Walter.  I soaked and stretched 8 am.  I finished puzzle started new.  lunch tasty sesame fish extra rice.  I went library an hour.  then Savers I dropped the car key green stretchy.  oh, well I walked entire store twice.  I have other keys.  I left my name and phone number.  

I walked Grocery Outlet for Inge looking 87 years frail.  

home 3:30 I called Anthony 3:55 pm re dump trash in 3 bins.  I took out recycle and put 2 bins under cover.  third bin under tree too heavy I put umbrella to cover.  recycle pick up Thursday said no wood.  I called Anthony again 4:14.  he called back 4:34 pm saying they'd handle.  I suggested tomorrow getting dark.  he promised clean up before leaving on vacation.  front stabilizing 2X4 unpainted.  needs painting.  

using magnet I picked up over a dozen driveway nails.  

Let go Let God-Anthony 9:30 arrival

$2543.75 total dad rebuild.  took a lot longer.  'til 5 pm.  OK job.  Discover denied security reason so I called to verify Jennifer said resubmit fine.  

came home 12:30 guys still working I went to library returned chrome no longer holds.  puzzled 'til 3:30 still painting.  raley's meatloaf $5 and eggs $2.50, hazelnuts $4.49, peas $1.79 I used $5 coupon.  

Dr Wehle didn't follow through on insurance so no $535 cleaning visit.  time for new dentist.

I want truly helpful people.  no ambush or sabotage.  

fear of the unknown today-Anthony Dela Cruz 909-313-6422/650-477-3562

in the pit of my stomach, shoulders and chest.  I was never allowed to feel anything.  family judged and criticized me, adding to my discomfort and pain.  I don't know what love and support feels like.  I'm feeling afraid of new feelings.  new feelings create new experiences.  

somehow the format changed and chrome took over.  I'm sitting with my feelings.  

I looked up Rhonda Richards CPA helped me in 2002 for tax year 2001 when Aiko ambushed me with estate taxes to cover her embezzling.  I'm looking through the return.  I'm assembling this year's return.

Rhonda took excellent care of me drafting the letters and printing forms so all I had to do was sign forms and checks, mail envelopes.  I was barely alive.  I felt I was dying.  at that point sitting in a chair was causing my spine to compress literally killing me.  

I folded laundry trying on 2 dresses.  perfect.  the 4 pocket zip hoodie had a hole I wove.  

I put out the garbage bin.  I'm inspired.  trunk organizing.  

Anthony and Damien Campos 3:30 pm $175 cleaning.  Damien does some repairs.  tomorrow 'day' off estimate $2 K on dad's front hang.  parts and materials.  for fixing 3 bracket repair flashing fix $350= 3.5% $543.38 total today.  I gave them bottled water.  

pocket full of miracles

I fell asleep after a repeat celebrity wheel 8-9 pm.  I woke at 3 and song was playing in my head.  contradicting Walter's gloom and doom.  and I hadn't connected charger to chrome or hot spot.  

4:30-8:30 slept and woke up pondering whether to go to seniors or St Just.  the pro was I've been finding goodies and need for water massage exercise.  so I went and found over 45 NEW pcs earrings, pendants, rings, necklaces, and a bracelet of pearls semiprecious gold over silver in little plastic bags.  WOW!  I thought of Sunshine.

St Just at 10:30 short line and Sandy weekend bag.  puzzle 

Anthony Dela Cruz /Bayline Solutions Inc estimate gutter clean $175+ 3% $5.75 for Discover.  tomorrow Sunday 1/25 2-3 pm.  I asked about carpentry repair dad's add on.  

chrome due today

what to do?  I can act average keeping it or return it.  

having done laundry I'm feeling bold.  my back is a little sore.  and I love, love, love clean clothes.  probably a function of autism fresh clean clothes feel good.  so much of life feels uncomfortable.  I was worried about weakening as long as I pace myself I'm OK.  

foggy 100% humid.  

lemon laundry closed 7:37 am

 so I came to seniors and collected clothes ready to wash.  soaked and stretched.  another paper bag of juice pouches, jellos, with mayo and mustard packs I separated.  yum.  Cody bookmobile new book marks.  I gave only unicorn to munchkin Darth Vader.

lunch went well Walter and Toke extra rice veg.  I washed @ lemon used b room walked mall 28 minutes double load.  old St Just clothes OK.  

J Box 4 tacos and home 2 pm.  I took my time ate tacos, hung laundry inside 3:30.  socks garage stuff later, rest now.  slept 3:30-6.  veg rice dinner watched my shows bed 10 pm.  

two good days

better.  lunch with Gloria, Trudy/cake, Kenny, Fred, Toke, Walter.  extra salad.

bought 2 Carl's, happy happy.  

I love the new me-paid Allstate home disc

I'm watching my copy of 'Goonies'.  one of my new 40 movies from library book sale.  the Sunny copy won't play 'err' needs cleaning.  

good day seniors.  Fred and Walter no fish Toki.  I dropped off menus and oranges.  she's my lunch prayer partner.  

home 2 pm back to bed.  game on!  chain reaction and common knowledge.  

I looked online for KFC deals.  regular bowls for $5 interesting like dessert 570 cal.  or Carl's or B King.  

Louise and Big Bang

I feel great.  it's been a awhile.  

I'm using food I bought for hard times.  I spent so much time unable to manage I bought shelf stable on sale.  

11 am watching my game shows.  

it's hard loving yourself when you have no experience with love.  when no one loved you growing up learning to love yourself is difficult with so many trying to use and abuse you like your family.  

I wonder if Parkinson is linked to not moving uptight nervous types.  based on the people I know with Parkinson.  

rocking my pelvis

my left hip still weak.  strong hips not core is most important.  exercising my hips affects my entire left leg.  I can feel the back of my knee.  I'm rebuilding my body.  

I ate the last of whole wheat penne and chicken by adding fresh diced tomatoes and salted almonds.  senior lunch blandness is a miracle.  so tasteless.

so lovely feeling bored.  no crises, demands, just blessed peace.  and tomorrow holiday.  

I decided no Sunny book sale today.  back sore from exercise.  

perfect day-Brian J to Shasta.

taking my time.  waiting for sunshine.  so cold.  seniors 10 minute wait I'm still looking for 'Lucky" book.  not in car or trunk.  kept looking found fruit.  soaked and stretched.  silly Brian elated he's moving to Shasta had 2 big canvas bags of books for Sariah and friend tending snack bar acting like a big pervy puppy so I stepped in to let them know he's silly and harmless.  he hugged me.  

St just lunch Gloria playing avoiding.  library book sale I looked for 'Igor" and Tina Turner.  so many comedy movies I bought 40/$5.  

home 1:30 to look for 'lucky' book.  not in car or trunk.  looking through book bags.  lots of exercise.  found it in book bag in bed.  4:30 exhausted rested in bed.  up at 7:00 to watch 'last holiday'.  

double Louise Hay-Scarlett O'hara wearing curtain day

chrome and TV.  sleeping to both is the best.  I'm playing affirmations on both.  the experience recalls my discordant distracting family.  I'm turning lead to gold.  alchemy.  

44 to 43 degrees 7 am.  I'm waiting for the world to wake and warm up.  7:20 sunrise 5:15 sunset.  

rocking my pelvis I can feel the weakness in my left hip as twinges.  driving using only my right leg throws off my muscle balance.  

I'm looking forward to trying on my new clothes.  and I want black forest pudding ring sale today 2/$5.  and maybe Sunny movie pick up.  

walked Sprouts none, Sunny library pick up book and "Goonies".  on to Safeway no corn dogs inari sushi, frozen 4 pork egg rolls, BBQ pork rice, and $2.50 pudding ring.  

I met Vimila Rodgers 50 years ago when she was a graphologist.  mentioned on "Focus on yourself and stop wasting time"-Louise Hay

so cold 41 degrees-laundry lemon 9898#

I like eating my PB strawberry preserves sandwich in bed.  if I hadn't been ill I never would know the luxury.  

I want nicotine lozenge.  

having the flu cleared my lungs.  I had nicotine second hand before I was born.  

Sunrise 7:21.  I googled it.  I can choose to wait for the sun.  7 am 39 degrees!!  colder!!  slower.  

I enjoyed Fred's dim sum was postponed he had salad meatballs were good.  Toke enjoyed our company.  Walter was tired, did a lot yesterday egg hunting. 

I headed to Savers and St Just a bag of 2 jeans, PJ bottoms, 

laundry lemon 9898# bathroom code.  single load $3.25 Maytag.  wifi, dry clean, water, wash & fold.  home 2 pm 40 minutes to hang.  

dinner red potatoes, meatball, penne.  bed 10 pm.

new me 38 degrees

I no longer need to suffer.  mom needed pain to feel alive.  i can live in comfort.  I wait 'til it's warmer. 

mmm, fish b'fast.  

I can go to Sunny to sew.  

sugar is the easiest cheapest drug.  

lunch of Fred, Toke, Walter left early.  I puzzled and went to central to puzzle more.  exercise.  home 5:30.  

played mahjongg 'til 2:30 am.

St j-new behavior-paid water,disc

laundry this week not today.  maybe Sat.  I keep forgetting one thing at a time.  to be caring, careful.  

I walked home Safeway.  good walk.  9:37 waiting to open.  picked up lunch St Just.  10:15 seniors parked on street didn't wait.  fish and red potatoes extra fish, broccoli.  

Walter named Nicole? Sneezy for sniffling sneezing yesterday on afternoon puzzle table.  He left for his walk  stayed to puzzle and remembered to pay due bills.  city kicked me out of page error message I called J T checked payment received and gave me confirmation

Happy Tuesday!

paid phone 611-disc

always changing.  chrome pages are different maybe the cause of freeze.  still Walter's nonsense last week an influence.  I try to impress the importance of programming.  he doesn't accept it yet.  he had a positive change in an instant stress free lease renewal.  not sinking in.  

new google format crap.  pages are different maybe cause of freeze.  not working well.  I look for my good.  

Frozen Chrome since yesterday-AND I'M BACK

I waited 'til the zero battery shut off.  an hour and half to charge.  I regained my tabs, dark setting default.  I considered and discounted returning to the main library.    

Patricia Delicious Nutrition- banana + melted 80% chocolate, vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg, wand blended, chilled.  you tube Louise Hay.  

I watched Rough Magic 1995 Mexican magic.  I want a copy.  

finished the pudding ring

so I have the sniffles.  worth it.  ate senior lunch "enchilada".

I'm binge watching Elsbeth 2.  I have terrific movies from yesterday.

lunch I cooked spaghetti 10 min high micro and chili.  

magnetic unified field-*67 blocks ID

I have a clearer vision.  better understanding.  it was a feeling, affinity, intuition.  Walter is the only person I know who may understand or be interested.  he may be able to expand my explanation.  

coherent electrons are electricity.  extend the line of electrons into a magnetic field.  spin it into gravity=attraction.  I diagrammed it out for him.  he said I "should" have been his teacher when he was little.  I told him stop "should"-ing on me and what makes him think he's grown up not letting him answer.  he gave me his extra lunch with mine I'm set this weekend.  

I returned over dues at central 123/37 hot spot.  6 holds.  redeemed $2 coupon for "Goonies" movie.  feeling eh, CUP returns 12 holds.  focused on perfect parking got it.  then my back started screaming at me.  resting in the car I decided I wanted 4 Jack Box tacos.  so good.  

Gin @ 24 hour

b'fast salad my teriyaki and tuna.  very satisfying.  

7 shower and set my intention.  Gin gave me another doll crochet scrubber.  I thought about Sunny $ tree but too rushed.  my $1.75 glasses better than $300 Dr Mark.

8:30 I'm hungry waiting in my car at Sunny lunch.  25 folk already in line and more coming.  cod, couscous, green beans, cauliflower carrots, cantaloupe.  

9:30 signed in when 2 people left, lady fainted.  Debbie MGR came to check me in.  so kind and efficient.  it's so NOISY AND LIVELY.  people are bossy in a nice way.  I love it so much.  if not for Toke I'd come here.  Fred has Deb and Walter is too smart to fail.  lots of people come here for their vitamin Human.  cod so good.  

$v dollar tree fish oil, hairbands, 4 reading glasses better than $300 glasses, vita C drops.  CVS 4 almond protein shakes $15 free OTC.  

home back screaming too tired.  central tomorrow then county.