Wednesday, August 16, 2017

SO TIRED

I FELL ASLEEP 8:30, AWOKE 1P, 3BMP, 5 TO TURN OFF TV-DVD.  SOMETHINGS GOING ON WITHIN.  I THOUGHT IT WAS TOO MUCH CARBS BUT THE WEATHER SPEAKS OTHERWISE. 

IT'S STILL OVERCAST.  AND COOL. 

I'M CARRYING ON.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

T-CALLED YSTRDY

I HAD CALLED HIM SAT FROM CAMBLIB AND REMEMBERED HE WAS PLAYING MUSIC.

I THOUGHT HE WAS RETURNING MY SATURDAY CALL BUT HIS RT RR WINDOW WAS SMASHED AT CVS WHILE HE WORKED.  HE DIDN'T MENTION UNTIL HANGING UP.

HE OFFERED POTATO OMELET SO I WENT TO SHOW SOLIDARITY.  HE GAVE ME RECYCLE.  I GAVE HIM ORANGES FROM LUNCH. 

HE MAKES LIFE COMPLICATED.

SUNDAY 13 I WENT G2, LUCKY'S 6 PENNIES, QUARTER IN SLOT. 

I'M FEELING BLESSED.  TYGJ

Saturday, August 12, 2017

I WENT

TO $ANC THIS AM FOR LIGHTERS. I FOUND A WADDED $.  I GOT SALAD AND UNDIES.  THEN SRS.  REMEMBERED POPEYE'S CHICKEN $5. ON THE WAY A FREE DRAWERS.  AND ST JUST.  NOTHING.


Thursday, August 10, 2017

NOT VERY RIGHT NOW.

I'M NOT FEELING VERY ADULT WITH THE STRESS OF THE WEATHER.  IT'S VERY HUMID.


Wednesday, August 9, 2017

knowing

DOESN'T MAKE IT EASIER.  I STILL HAVE TO SIT WITH THE FEELINGS AND WAIT FOR THEM TO RUN THEIR COURSE.

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

GOT IT!!

I RETURNED SCOTT-CAL SKYLIGHT- CALL FROM 2:20PM YESTERDAY. 

SITTING THINKING, TALKING TO VERA I REALIZE THE NEVER ENDING REPAIR = DAD WITH A NEW CRISIS EVERY YEAR. 

OF COURSE I'M FEELING DEPRESSED, HOPELESS, HELPLESS, INCAPABLE.  HE DIED AFTER TORTURING MOM AND ME. 

I HAVE REASONS FOR FEELING DEPRESSED.  GOOD VALID REASONS. 

Saturday, August 5, 2017

space saver

SATURNDAY- THE FREEDOM TO WRITE WHEN I WANT, WHAT I WANT. 

I REMEMBERED LAST MINUTE TO SAVE THE DAY SPACE.

Friday, August 4, 2017

DRAINED

OF ALL RESISTANCE.  realized the weather and my anxiety are about the 20 yrs of horror with the parents and the 10 with the sister/thieves. 

Thursday, August 3, 2017

PERKS

PERQUISITES-I WENT TO ST J AND FEEL BETTER.

I WAS FEELING SO ANXIOUS.  I DON'T KNOW WHETHER FROM THE WEATHER EMINENT ECLIPSE OR ASPERGERS.  TODAY IS OVERCAST.  WONDER WHERE THE SECURITY GUARD IS?  WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT THE WEATHER LAST VISIT AND HOW SHE PREFERS CLOUDY DAYS.  I HAVEN'T SEEN HER TODAY.  

AUGH!! DISTRACTED.  THAT'S DEFINITELY AUTISM. 

I FOUND 2 BOTTLES, 4 MARYS, PLASTIC STAND, PURSE MIRROR AND FEEL RICH. 

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

TU-8-1

A NEW MONTH AND A RENEWED ME. 

IT'S 90o AND I'M OK.  I DON'T EVEN NEED MY COWBOY AIR CONDITIONING.  I'M IN AWE. 

I DROVE TO SAVERS, SHOPPED FOR 2 HRS AND I'M STILL VERTICAL.  I'M SO GRATEFUL, TYGJ.

I'M GETTING MY APPETITE BACK.  AND I'VE DECIDED TO STOP SMOKING. 

IT'S PART OF MY PAST.  NOT HAVING HAD A CHOICE IN UTERO I LOOK FORWARD TO BEING FREE.