I drove too close to prickly pear tore off left mirror cover

 my post completely disappeared including title.  i'm sure I saved it.  

7:30 seniors

driving is now work.  it used to be a pleasure.  a privilege.  now too much traffic, too many bad drivers.  it's a j o b.

my first day driving.  I stopped at sprouts and bought a dinner sandwich 1.99, giant artichoke 99 and celery bites 99.  I consider 2 chases I'm not ready.

waiting on mekennon driver 7:05 am call-got car home safe 2:30 pm

3 messages from Carlos yesterday 2-5.  car is ready.  i called him today pedro called also i offered carlos $100 to arrange drop off and test drive to his garage then deliver to senior center or garage.  i don't know.  i'm not overly anxious to drive.  it's become a job.  like cooking.  

I have check book $2000 to Pedro.  already paid $500 cashed 10th.  Carlos said Pedro increased to $3000.  I left Pedro's check with Carlos.  he'll call him.  

Pedro notes 3/20 Wednesday towed car $120 Delgado towing, $1000 parts, $1000 labor, the $500 for welding fixing frame.  Tuesday 3/26 10:30 am verified Pedro repair costs with Carlos.

I walked to mission which I wouldn't with a car.  I'm not missing the car except for laundry and specious shopping.  i'm not missing the car.  

Mekennon to seniors and maybe cup-Marissa-Kuben home

I've become my mom, afraid to drive.  well, afraid of being hit.  being hit explains a lot of her behavior.  her brother, my uncle, was horrible, beating on my cousins.  it seemed normal.  mom was so violent.  as a child I didn't question her behavior it was all I knew.  I was just surviving.  her fear was her karma.  

Hopper is inconsistent and unreliable just like my family.  but Hopper eventually comes through not the family.  Mekennon drove to seniors, cancelled cup ride.  Marissa loaded my gym case in the trunk.  Kuben too.  

my legs, feet, hips are so sore and stiff.  Lhosa gave me 5 Sara Lee bagels like candy.  more sugar than onions on the wrapper.  great for dessert I've eaten 3.  

7:33 feeling lonely waiting for marissa driver.

I walked to nob hill 6:30 for deli salad none so I bought 2 chili Verde and 1 EVOO.

i'm never alone even when I think I am.  so feelings can be wrong.  they were when I married.  lamb to the slaughter.

i'm planning my week.  I have movies to pick up at mission by 25th and 1 overdue at county 26th plus 9 movies tomorrow.  

I have 2 repairs at home.  Melvin offered a ride home.  I enjoy watching people.  Fred is my new delightfully silly brother.  I always wanted a huge family.  I always felt I was wasting time being.  I had to be doing.  being is doing.  doing is not being.  

bartolo called, back from vacation said he was back to work fry day.  I still have to get to the bank. 

I was still hungry after lunch I made spam and egg rice at 3 pm.  4 pm nap time.  

I'm watching movies I missed

taking care of the family.  doctors, hospitals, keeping the peace.  24/7 for my life.  I lived a life sentence 'til sisters betrayed all of us including themselves.  cheaters cheat themselves.  

lemmings are a legend.  they don't really commit suicide.  only people do.  

I walked to nob hill

I saw meme.   no burritos.  I filled water.  walked the store bought some tortilla chips and tiny drink samples.  auto update is working.  now it stopped working at all.  must be a virus.  oh, well.

heated and ate castle burgers.  perfect with chips.  napped 3 hours.  I never imagined i'd live this long.  the best time in history to be old.  social security, pensions, medicare, social services, public transportation.  being old could be better.