Monday, September 25, 2017

BIRTH BLUES?

THE END/BEGINNING OF THE MONTH I GET SAD.  BECAUSE I WAS BORN?  I ONLY KNOW MY BODY REACTS WITH DREAD. 

ALL MEMORY IS BODY MEMORY.  SOME CONSCIOUS-TRIVIA-FACTS.  MOST AMBULATORY.  MOST MEMORY IS SET IN THE MUSCLES FOR SURVIVAL.  WE CAN REACT VISCERALLY FASTER THAN A THOUGHT.  (WOW, I CHECKED SPELLING AND I DID IT ALL RIGHT.  GOOD GUESSING.) 

I HAVE NO CONSCIOUS REASON FOR DREAD AND YET I FEEL.

Saturday, September 23, 2017

ADULT ENNUI

I'M FEELING ENNUI.  AND I NEED TO CHANGE IT TO PEACE OR I'M CREATING UNCONSCIOUS DRAMA. 

GRATITUDE IS GOOD.

I SAW A WOMAN FIND A QUARTER SECONDS BEFORE ME AND I HAD TO DISCIPLINE MY SELF TO BLESS HER.  IT'S ALL GOOD. 

Thursday, September 21, 2017

ELECTRIC

I FEEL ELECTRIC, I SING THE BODY ELECTRIC.  SONG IS THE ULTIMATE VIBRATION.  MUSIC IS THE RECOGNITION THAT ELECTRONS ARE IN CONSTANT MOTION.  THAT THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE IS IN PERPETUAL MOTION.

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

RUNNING

RUNNING AWAY IS RUNNING TOWARDS SOMETHING ELSE, HOPEFULLY BETTER.

I DECIDED AFTER TALKING TO T TO GO WITH SCOTT-THE DEVIL I KNOW.  I ALREADY KNOW HE DIDN'T DO THE JOB RIGHT THE FIRST $500 OR SECOND TIME.  T THINKS THIRD TIME AND $1K WILL DO THE TRICK.  HE'S KICKING IN HIS FEE. 

I CAN GO TO CAMPBELL TODAY.  I GUESS I WILL.  YESTERDAY I WENT TO COSTCO AND NO CHERRIES SO I GOT SLICED ALMONDS $3.53/LB AND WALNUTS FOR SURE NO BUGS.  I THOUGHT THEY GOT IN BUT MORE LIKELY I BOUGHT THEM WITH BUGS FROM BINS.

SO I WILL BUY SEALED BAGS FROM NOW ON.  NO MORE.

I'M FEELING BETTER NOW THAN 2:47 THIS AM.  DAD'S ANXIETY.  MOM ALWAYS SAYING THEY DIDN'T WANT TO BE A BURDEN AND ALWAYS DOING LIFE THE HARD BURDENSOME WAY.  DAD SO LAZY.  I SUPPOSE THE REASON I LIKE BEING ME FREE TO CHOOSE WHAT AND WHO I WANT TO BE.  I KNOW THE OUTCOME OF SLOTH.  A DEADLY SIN AND BOY IS THAT ACCURATE.  INACTIVITY LEADS TO A SLOW PAINFILLED DEATH.  UNHAPPINESS.  OUR BODIES ARE DESIGNED TO MOVE. 

OR WE WOULD BE BOULDERS.

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

SCOTT-TU 9/19

CALLED HIM TO ACKNOWLEDGE HIS NO MS LAST FRI.  HIS IDEA FOR FIX  ESTIMATE:NEW FLASHING AROUND BASE 2X4'S $1K.  HE HAS NO IDEA HOW TALL THE COVER IS.  HE SAID IT'S STANDARD HEIGHT WHATEVER THAT IS.  I CALLED AND LEFT MS WITH VALERI SUNLIGHT CONCEPTS "LET US LIGHT YOUR LIFE."  I WANT TO GO CHECK OUT SHOWROOM 1130 WALSH.

MY STOMACHE.  STINKYSMELLYMAN WATCHING ALINA QUEST FOR MUSCLE.  CARTOON NUDE.  WELL NAMED.

Thursday, September 14, 2017

HAPPY THURSDAY TO ME

I ATE WITH THE LADIES TWO DAYS.  I AVOIDED JT!!!  HURRAY!!!!

I FEEL CAPABLE AND A TINY BIT APPREHENSIVE.  I'M NOT USED TO BEING HAPPY WITHOUT THE FAMILY PUNISHING ME AND THE LEARNED BEHAVIOR.

IF I WANT A DIFFERENT LIFE I HAVE TO LIVE A DIFFERENT LIFE.

MY ATTITUDE MUST EVOLVE FOR MY LIFE TO EVOLVE.