only 6 months to Xmas

 

I returned Danielle's call 9:30 am

after soak and stretch.  I always feel better after.  my homemade trail mix is so good.  I ate half a pound of lunch fish but I'm hungry.  I gave potatoes and veg to the crows.  

I'm committed to staying on top of things.  I've been so depressed, feeling unloved since the collision.  

I washed a filthy plastic 3.4 qt. OXO vacuum canister I found in the parking lot.  the cafeteria washroom has hot water and antibacterial soap.  

I went to Mission then Central library still didn't have double side printing.  I managed to figure out car registration and license copy myself I needed help on multiple but still didn't get the result I wanted.   oh, well.  I puzzled 'til close.  ouch my back.  

home 7:10

time is finally moving

Francine chose the funny cat puzzle again.

we got the July menu.  I checked Sunny is closed Th-Fri July 2-3.  oh, well.  

I decided to pick up my hot spot and found a new $15 tankini and lemon almonds $3.49 at Ross' and lemon cake $5.99 at Sprouts with samples.  home 6 pm.  I ate some lunch fish considering CVS.  coupons expiring today.  not now my feet are sore walked ALL over.  July 1 OTC allowance.

I ate too much lemon cake.  oh, I remembered corn bean salad best snack.  tankini so comfortable.  

Danielle called no mail yet.  should have arrived.  I mailed Wednesday.  4 days.   

all green lights 5 minutes-24 hour hot spot

I forgot to eat.  took my supplements and felt full.  I always have granola bars.  sweeter than I prefer.  I'm resting at the puzzle table.  my stomach aches.  

wearing a brace helps.  and eating lunch.  they didn't drain noodles and it turned into soup.  I gave Toki trunk fruit.  I released bread and old noodles to crows.  Ruben gave me the last piece of Judy/Bonnie Lucky's cake.  

I just realized I am Igor.  old age hump back.  

I love, love, love goofing off.  

3 pm lemon mousse cake and turkey tetrazzini soup.  I'm so relaxed.  reminds me of falling asleep at the library and the guard waking me.  years ago.  now people eat and sleep anywhere.  and talking.  

I'm wearing navy shorts and pink spandex.  pool maybe 4?  

I'm resting.

self care @ 24 hour-OMG HEAVEN!!- -21/65

 huh, I can come here twice if I want.  miss Vicky Jesus sister said she has one pass w/Kaiser.  Toki could get it.  

ooh, Cup lib 9 am using city guest.  the auto return not online.  I have shade parking, listening to Louise.  HEAVEN!  auto return turned on.

Asian man just gave me new 17.6 oz raw Manuka honey APR 2030 no refrigerate.  

and now to read Marla Gibbs.  more Heaven.  the man who parked next to me is the super gym that trashed the newspaper not sharing.  I didn't know he was homeless.  

Happy Juneteenth!

I love parties.  I'm feeling stunned.  lots of cheesecake dessert.  lunch was sandwiches.  Ruben gave me 2 St Justin ham cheese.  lots of left over bean corn cilantro tomato, carrot, coleslaw salad.  Fred, Walter, Toki hurray!

biked before and after.  still very stiff stretching.  

I checked college Safeway Jack Daniel's pulled pork for $5.  good walk.  

home 2:30.

like it's my b'day-25/66

warning lucid dream:  my home is almost done being remodeled and older and young man come around for pick up contractor jobs.  actually scam  predators seeking prey.  don't allow in.  

I enjoy resting and relaxing reading.  I soaked and stretched my half hour then biked half and half.  I was so excited.  I reminded Fred gave me cd player Walter belt and Toki all this week.  Walter not too frantic.  

mailed questionnaire 6:43 am Franklin PO-31/66-Barbara O 1 pm

I've tried so hard to forget I forgot to list my injuries.  

today I almost forgot my 1 pm phone meeting w/Barbara O.  suddenly at 12:50 it popped into my head and I hustled to retrieve my chrome bag/phone from the locker room and questionnaire bag from the car.  she was wonderful explaining the process could take a year.  

poor Eric Togami.  he had to go through his dad's death twice.  trial 1998 and appeal 2003.  

I biked half and half.  Toki came in 2:30.  hope everything is going well.

WOW! Panera automatically connected me.  AND I redeemed $5, $10.85.  and I'm resting after my harrowing ordeal.  

Costco back to $5.20-38/66

OK.  I think.  so far.  Louise "blessings are mine".  

AAAAAAUUGGHH!!!!!  the phone records are 2025 not 2024.  I called Danielle after Eric.  Tasha @ Consumer Cellular gave me the phone number for security.  James will resend.  I already paid $4.  

Ruben gave me St Justin lunch sans cookies.  I gave sandwiches to Paul.  I got extra lunch and Walter's donation.  I forgot.  

I was so upset I biked half and half hour trying not to overdo.  get that cortisol out.  

gas still high-39/66

I considered fill up.  tomorrow better.  I'm SO STRESSED!!  just thinking of the questionnaire makes me tense PTSD Eric tragedy, my folks, sisters.  everything I've avoided to survive.  

it's like a horrible movie monster that won't die.  forty years of HELL!!

fitness 24-63 o's humid 77%-48/66

sweaty.  I showered leisurely and biking the ex-husband's cheater energy.  TV talking about the cost of college my anger he quit his job without telling me and I had to support us.  9 mph anger up to 11.07.  he kept pleading and crying.  the liar.  just like Aiko bragged.  and I gave in believing his lies.  I'd been lied to my entire life.  i'm changing my chemistry.  

And that's all changed.  I've changed.  I let go.  

St Justin lunch Ruben gave me cookies, chips, yogurt.  my neglected childhood now is being balanced by the universe taking care of me.  I completed Disney SOUL puzzle 300 pc.  

HEAVEN...

feeling beautiful-2024 phone records came

I rinsed my car windows and drove to seniors.  took my time enjoying the ride.  they opened late as usual.  I filled 3 bottles and put in car I forgot my shorts.  Zariah at desk.  I showered taking my time.  I biked 30 minutes and stretched 90.  feeling rested taking care of me.  filled another 3 bottles.  set out pants, towel, socks to dry.  

Ruben gave me snack bag and I got an extra chick garden salad.  I saw Dino 'Camino' Medar and said how blessed we are he's so over qualified for his job and he said his last Friday, Tuesday his last work day he's going to LA world cup Bosnia v Switzerland then a job in Mtn View.  I'm so proud of him following his heart.  

yesterday 101 o's today only 94 o's short hours @ seniors I came early to central.  so my car is parked in the cool underground.  

wheel -jungle, a chic outfit

exercise the quickest drug-Wednesday 6/17 @ 1 pm-57/66

instant mood change.  I just noticed his name Eric.  

Eric Winberg Secretary to Barbara Olsen and paralegal Danielle Arena called to set up initial phone meeting Wednesday 6/17 @ 1 pm.  Danielle will call today preliminary expectations regarding DEPOSITION.  

Eric could here my upset so I told him my Post Traumatic Stress Frank Togami  death by drunk driver 1998, my dad Frank died 1999,  mom 2001.  I didn't tell him my sisters' eviction 4 attorneys over 8 years and the ongoing harassment.

Walter insisted on trying to pontificate.  I refused.  we had a good honest authentic session while I waited for Danielle's call.  nobody else in the world I'd argue with my situation.  

nice chat she's sending me return envelopes.  

seniors feeling pain and puzzle picture box top gone-59/66

if the crazies think that compares to my soap opera life they're way out there in another galaxy.  crash burn.  

emotional pain is so different.  only time heals.  I kept my suit in the locker.  I'm wearing locker keys to remind me.  I'm enjoying myself despite the excruciating pain.

I've given myself permission to rest and process my sadness.  lunch with my family is good for my soul.  Toki taking care of Walter.  Fred eating better makes me laugh.  the perfect group.  I got extra meatballs and gravy, Toki and Fred gave me extra.  

I'm printing the road map I traveled 2/14/2024.  shows route better.  helps me deflect neck, back, feet pain.  

I decided to bike 20 minutes and stretch to change my feelings.  feeling so stiff and stuck.  

Danny's recycle $7-60/66

with God everything is simple and easy.  

time is finally passing.  it seemed stuck as me.  my feelings are bubbling and churning.  I must be safe to feel.  I feel horrible.  and this too will pass.  still feeling raw guilt for Eric's troubles and my inability to take it away.  

nerves-still need to add car tag-63/66

water is soothing.  soaks away my cares.  an hour.

processing feelings uses a lot of energy.  everything is created by emotions.  

Fred and Walter at lunch.  I ordered garden chicken salad and got extra bean stew.  tasty.  

tired I came home at 2:30 napped 5-6:30 so I'm watching wheel and jeopardy after the playoffs.  

maybe I'm just hungry St Justin-65/66

I'm taking my own advice and processing Eric's death on the 13th.  

his garage burned down Sunday night 8:45 pm May 15, 2016 stage 4 colon cancer.  first stomach and died of lung cancer June 2017.  

my sad story.  

watching Jurassic is different.  and Ruben gave me his ham cheese sandwiches.  

filled with NRG-70/66-I WANT TO CRY I HAVE NO TEARS

biking @ seniors I realized people watch action movies as a substitute for living.  I started watching Jurassic 4.  the emotions are cathartic.  feels like I'm doing something.  workaholics use activity to suppress emotion.  Walter.

I forgot the Wheel yesterday so I did it first thing.  

I want an unlimited world of peace, plenty, and healing.  anyone can have a personal heaven unique to themselves.  

the computer room is perfectly cool and empty.  I'm fine tuning my life  while I wait for the copy of my phone records.  new book Atomic Habits.

I printed the 2003 denied appeal of the man convicted in 1999 of murder of Frank Togami Thursday March 12, 1998.  and now I understand the energy with Karen Kuek.  Eric went through hell before dying 6/13/2017.  

I'm just sitting with my feelings.  fire destroyed shop May 15, 2016.  I was busy surviving my sisters' harassment and threats of physical violence.  

Hot spot Sunny 73/66-"Healing is sacred work".

Louise Hay.  someone set out 300 piece harvest puzzle I finished.  I put away the 500 piece Dan Craig castle puzzle into plastic bags keeping the edge separate.  

Mallory had peanuts from Smart & Final I got 2 ea honey roasted for Toki and cashews for Fred.  I got 2 bowls noodles from lunch.  talking to Candice maybe Jack Box burgers for dinner exp 8th.  Anne hasn't been at seniors for months, showed up I was thinking of her.  Candice helped her fill out forms.  

I love my rhythm of life.  I got burgers and checked internet.

And someone stole puzzle box top-PAID WATER, DISCOVER-125/37&74/66-DMV reg.

I finished one tough puzzle.  500 oddly shaped.  beautiful.  Mall thinks larry meercat is the thief.  

today is Eric's 9th.  I'm in black.  I'm wearing my ruffles this week.  2 black, mint, hot pink.  

I paid Consumer Cellular and talked to Jan ordered copy of 2/14 2024 cell usage $4-mailed Life and PAID Bartolo

 exactly one week since I received questionnaire.  I started.  

June is bustin' out all over-78/66-Yamuna goddess-128/37

I'm in mourning.  I feel safe.  I biked 32 minutes.  I'm stretching and relaxing.  Walter got me fish and I got one.  with zucchini.  I didn't want the bell pepper slaw and I'll cook the onion salsa.                      I finished 300 piece cats puzzle.   I'm gearing up to print blog pages for questionnaire.   ugh!                                                                              Capital One bought Discover.  fingers crossed July.