my good memories are stored in my car. this house and garage reek of the family. their influence, the family traditions of depression, alcohol and suicide. I've been running my entire life trying to escape. I've spent the last 16 years healing a lifetime of disappointments. Mitzi always asked me what I wanted and then proceeded in great detail to explain her denial. always a slap in the face like from mom. huh, I feel angry. I imagined I was used to a lifetime of abuse. I filled one barrow put away. so depressing I made some eggs and slept an hour.
I got up to watch the game show at 10 am 'temptation' channel off air. reminded me I have the entire 'medium' 1-7 seasons.
noon; uncle died 3/21/17 ex's b'day and Eric 6/13/17. auntie 3/10/24 and I were suffering, missing our brothers. they're all together.
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