and i'm ok. twenty years to resolve 50 years of feral childhood. last night after reading it took me 5 hours to stop shaking. i cooked and cleaned to settle my nerves. i made tuna pasta salad, boiled 5 eggs, cleaned everything up.
i chose the book because it was large print free in box on sidewalk. god in action. it never occurred to me i was actually feral from the wolf family abuse. i just thought i was messed up. i thought i was anti social. my inability to bond is fear. fear of being hurt more. i'm already in more pain than i can stand.
tom mom called acknowledging the card i sent. he called me a week after my birthday. another lying pointless conversation. he calls me when he has nothing better to do. just as he always has done for 36 years. he never loved me never even liked me.
i started opening house at night to cool off.
No comments:
Post a Comment