Tuesday, May 4, 2021

i'm not used to feeling

i feel my life is hopeless.  feelings are not facts, thank god.  i just have to stay neutral.  i'm waiting.  i'm learning how to feel.  i spent my life numbed to tolerate the hell of my childhood and now everything hurts.  i'm tired of living my life alone.  i have no experience with loving giving people.  all the important relationships in my life have been with people who used me 'til i felt all used up.  and i'm back.  

i came home 1 pm to rest and care for me.  i have all my numbers together for taxes.  when i feel stronger i'll do them.  i guess my worksheets will be my copies.   

i'm blessed to have tv.  i'm blessed i have the new yoga to watch.  my neck feels better.  i got another voice mail from back doctor who's done nothing for me.  they want billing info and another appointment.  i don't think so.  i'm growing up.  

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