sitting sunny vale library parked listening to healing. reopens tomorrow. i was feeling anxious bach rescue pastilles. debating on soak stretch. feeling tired i don't have to.
i cooked sewed and sorted yesterday. did a little too much couldn't sleep. i used leftovers to make new. very satisfying. 63 years of cooking has lost its appeal.
cathy called noon feeling sick 47 second call. i prayed for her. her sister invited then uninvited her. i know it hurt her feelings. like when tom's niece did the same to me.
i'm enjoying the peace and calm processing years of fears of not knowing the level of family violence but always anticipating and ready to run hide. processing the emotions is my exhaustion. takes a lot of energy not to run hide anymore. not to scream and cry or be punished "i'll give you something to cry about".
i just realized i hadn't received my life bill and checked the garage there it was from late fry day. i took out garbage added from street and recycle bins.
making me laugh, feeling good celebrity wheel of fortune-thousands and thousands of selfies: jumping jack nicholson.
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