Sunday, November 22, 2020

it's so hard for me to cry

or show any emotion having had it beaten out of me.  i had to put on a neutral face.  being happy was punished too.  sometimes just breathing was punished so i held my breath afraid to breathe even.  i was watching mary poppins-saving mr banks.  

was my mother crazy?  she punished me for everybody.  like 'igor'.  so no i guess not so far as the general population defines crazy.  the prevailing behavior no matter how insane is determined 'normal' by majority rule.  look at trump as president.  

something weird i got usps email saying i had mail.  there's no sunday delivery.

i went to dollar for 3 chips, mat, ramen.  got to st j before 1 no lines table and church ladies.  i asked and turned in letter and envelope.  i was given choice turkey or 2 $10 gift cards.  i drove around and john greeted me, another choice safe way or lucky's.  i got home 1;04.  i put everything away.

i got one bag 3 lbs carrots, 10 lbs potatoes, package gravy, stuffing mix, canned yams, green beans, 2 corn, apples, oranges.  

i chopped some jerky, added tomato turtle beans, heated with leftover lunch of ramen veggies.  i want fresh cooked yam for dinner.  i had one for breakfast.  

hurrah!!  i remembered jamie 6 pm.  yesterday i only caught the last 14 min.  i love the flashback button.  i can surf without remembering what i was watching.  

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