i spent from 4 am stretching and wriggling trying to get comfortable. then i started feeling hatred, disappointment, antagonism projected at me from my family leaving my body. nora monaco said i carried the family's guilt on my chest and that i would find my own psychic answers. i've stored the family negativity in my cells. as the projections leave i shiver. without the cold and isolation i couldn't do it. bless covid and cold.
my inability feeling happy was from the stored hatred etc. i was full. i feel lighter. i wonder how much obesity in the world is an attempt to compensate for projected negativity. can't consciously feel it if it isn't self generated. it's like wearing a coat of anger. it's on the outside. unless there's a mirror there's no reflection to see the image. all my relationships have been attempts to rid me of projected feelings that never belonged to me. i was just a storage facility allowing my family to succeed in the world.
aspergers, down syndrome prey conditions allow the predators to function. we keep the world from devouring itself. destroying itself. jesus said as you do to the least capable you do to jesus. handicapables exist as an opportunity to do better to be better.
some how i lost 2 hours. bedroom month old battery quit. 1 pm and i'm not hungry. my body is flooded with toxins. i'm cooking veg for when i am hungry. i ate 2 yams. the smaller the better. i washed wrapped in parchment nuked 3 min turned 2 more. washed sliced mushrooms in spinner. cooked in garage 30% 20-stir-20-stir. 3;30 called 24 hour for wait time no one there. i showered in the warm washed my hair. no chairs now. hung on bars stretched. went walked safe way. $tore looking for leg warmers feeling pretty good. 50 cent 2 laundry bags, fish oil, 2 m wash. gave busker$2. home 5;30 i added mushrooms to ramen and pork slices. so good.
No comments:
Post a Comment