Sunday, November 19, 2023

feeling borderline

i'm revisiting 1997 watching 'men in black.'  i've never liked will smith.  not as 'fresh prince' never.  

i'm still processing mom suicide trauma.  my body is reacting to nicotine lack.  smokers are shallow anxious breathers.  glad i have lozenges to make me a little calmer comfortable.  emotionally i want to run away doing.  i won't think or feel if i'm focused on doing.  hence workaholics.  and injuring myself is another way to distract myself.  i prefer movies and rest to process emotional fallout.

eating is another chemical distraction along with drugs and alcohol.  food takes the most discipline.  you got to eat.  

'men in black' marathon 1997, 2002.  i never watched the 2012 #3.  huh.  i wonder what was going on.

went to sunny library with returns.  checked puzzles, used coupon for an immense bag of movies.  i asked for link+ copy of 'pain free' for cracked one none anywhere.  oh, well. and she didn't give me attitude like men.  home 2:30 resting. 

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