i'm loving heaven. i spent most of my life living according to my family. what they wanted, not allowed to want for myself, choose what i want. and today i'm relaxing, bills paid, no worries.
i don't have to be anywhere, not disappointing or being constantly criticized by anyone.
my family was hell. i didn't know life could be otherwise. i chose people in my life that were familiar, family substitutes. i was always the consistent, responsible one. i made life safe and secure for them. i was the problem solver, the organizer never getting credit or respect. jane thanked me in front of everyone at lunch for connecting her with the mexican chocolate she wanted. i suggested the market and deli and she did the leg work. my family and familiars always demanded i do all the work to fulfill their desires without thanks or even acknowledgment from them. hell.
i'm loving my freedom. i love feeling cherished. the subliminal recordings on you tube are working great.
baked chicken sliced thick part coated spicy mustard 400 o half hour.
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