Thursday, April 20, 2023

i was so sad and angry

i've processed.  i decided i'm going into seniors late.  bookmobile first then swim.  rebellion is a good thing.  i'm asserting myself.  i'm standing up for myself.  

i changed my mind, spirit got me to seniors at 8:30.  swam, then bookmobile and upstairs to read.  lunch ok.  everybody left i read.  hilda late with extra food 2 meat, dry refried beans, squash.  lots wasted.  upstairs i read.  went to central picked up new star trek and adam-12 1+2.   then home I rested in bed and finished reading 'spare'.  

5:30 feeling jumpy.  between whitney and prince harry i'm dealing with my feelings.  i don't feel as stupid since they kept loving and believing liars over and over.  that pain and disappointment causes suicide, self destructive behavior.  so scary i keep anticipating punishment.  decanting canned drinks to plastic bottles.  doing to distract myself.

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