my sisters like my mom, tom, ron, jealous. i guess most people are when i consider. i don't get it. is it an infant thing? fear of loss maybe.
i've been flashing back to being a toddler dad giving me beer. sitting laughing getting drunk with his cronies. mom's stated reason for moving mainland. get him away from drunks. his father her oldest brother all his friends.
i think i'm happy. i've always kept so busy doing i never considered happy only busy. my life scheduled and planned to do not be. SIGH. always so busy doing being is also an action.
seniors at 9 i showered exercised half hour wandered around walking. lunch ok little glo, alex, diane, toki, ron very late. took most of it to sunny library to play space puzzle and check requests. listened healing relaxing healing. i keep forgetting to hang oil self portrait i painted 1976 looks like healing music covers. home 4 thinking of sweets for valentine's. tired all the exercise.
i laugh thinking when i set the screen dark on chrome at night then couldn't see. it makes a good night light on medium.
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