THE TWO SIDES TO EVERY COIN. OPPOSITES. ONE CONSIDERED GOOD, ONE NOT SO GOOD.
MY PATTERN IS TO EXHAUST MYSELF SO I'M ABLE TO ACCEPT NEW IDEAS. I WANT TO FIND A COMFORTABLE WAY. I DON'T WANT TO DRIVE MYSELF TO EXHAUSTION TO BE ABLE TO ACCEPT NEW IDEAS. EVEN THIS BACK INJURY. HOW ELSE TO GET MY OWN ATTENTION. I WOULD HAVE LEFT THE CRAZIES TO THEMSELVES LIKE ALWAYS.
I WANT TO RELAX MY WAY TO NEW IDEAS AND WAYS OF BEING.
LAST NIGHT I PLAYED LOUISE HAY WITH THE MUTE ON THINKING IT WASN'T PLAYING. I KNOW BECAUSE OF HAVING A GOOD DAY WITH PEOPLE WHO LOVE ME I'M SABOTAGING MYSELF IN MISPLACED LOYALTY TO THE FAMILY.
I DON'T NEED TO DO THIS ANYMORE.
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