feeling not good but OK. bed at 7 helps. set bedroom clocks. made noodles 2 eggs b'fast at 6.
Louise gives me hope and strength. w/o her example I couldn't go on.
I'm watching "Reba". a messy more stable family. Jacque secretary tried to befriend me like BJ. GUILT. I AM A THRIVER. only took till season 5 to figure it out. depression.
coming from a family tradition of suicidal alcoholics depression was a constant. 2001 anti-depressants over mom's dying and my sisters' threats of violent eviction made me more suicidal.
I deserve Love, support, goodness. I deserve My ideal life. Everyone does. such a foreign concept.
