Funny how untitled is titled untitled-CURSERS

Tomorrow starts a new cycle.  I look forward to what it brings.  I've determined some people for whatever reason habitually curse others.  They make others sick with their subliminal messages hinting at disease.  They "jokingly" make parting shots.         
 
They jinx people around them.  They plant seeds of emotional, psychological weeds.  THEY SEND ELECTRICAL IMPULSES AT THEM, TINY ARROWS OF HATE.  THOUGHTS ARE ELECTRICITY TRAVELING THROUGH THE BODY/MIND.  BAD ONES POISIN SENDER AND TARGET.                                                                                                                                  

I look forward to avoiding the ruiners of  MY garden of earthly delights.  I'm enjoying my garden.   

                                                                                                                                                                

Can't wait to create Heaven

Creating Heaven is tiring.  Takes a lot of thought and emotional discipline.  I guess everything new does.  That's why babies sleep so much.  And why I feel tired.                             

Deciding what to do everyday to create the strongest foundation for the rest of my life is the most important work I've ever done.   

AT WINDSOR/WORLDMARK-Happy D'day Mom

Feeling pretty good.  Tomas drove us leisurely and we stopped at several stores.  Good hunting.                                                            

Checked in and he was testy.   He is a conundrum.

Went to 8:30 update and had lovely time w/David Hopwood.  Very caring compassionate person.  B'fast ok.  Old Kinderhook.  Madison?                              

5*17*13-Strange new week.  I'm feeling ok.  Lost key to gym lock with stretchy thing.  Will call library, maybe I lost it there.  Had another lock and two keys so set up new system already.      

Survived mom's b-day

Tomas called to check up on me yesterday with the pretext of tamales.  He's a good friend.  I was in a holding pattern. 

Went to Campbell Library and checked voicemail so I went by his place.

He said he wanted to use the timeshare so I asked him when he wanted to use it.  Then I remembered jeopardy and forgot timeshare so I'm going back today after lunch (Srs) and with my mobile I'm mobile and more versatile.  He wants me to use it too.  I don't really care.  No, really.

Waiting for the other shoe to drop-Ann Xiety

My old friend, Ann Xiety.    Cleared some stuff from living room.  Okay maybe I overdid.  Fell asleep easily tho'.  Exhausted.  11pm-5:16am.  Tailbone on fire.  Stomach queasy.  So maybe I'll phone it in.  I have to confront dr ali at some pt but not today.  I still have to cash refund from ATT.  

Still so attention deficit.  Just spent half hour cruising sites to cash check.  I have to laugh or cry.  

Stomach is trying to tell me something.  Made yummy potatoes, brussel spts, shredded carrot mix last nite.  Been eating mango salsa and beans and rice.  Vegetarian heals and helps anxiety.  

Just discovered if I put cursor over on right side a page pops out.  

Maybe it was the bupropion, welbutrin.  Took one ystrday and this a m at 5:16.  A mystery.

Maybe a nico-lozenge will help.  Yes it's better.  Welbutrin is supposed to suppress the desire for nicotine.  

I want to go to Campbell library today.  That's what I want.      

I need something like nicotine to ground me for want of a better word.  

That's the planning to the Oakridge Mall.  Saver's, Vitamin World, 1.2 mi apart.  Salvation Army Sunday?

I'll find it soon.

New Age Dawning-and it's freaking me out

Everything is going so well.  Like b4 parent trap.  Taking care of parents is a mistake.  Bigger than marrying the wrong person.

The only reason I married him was cuz he was familiar.  Like the sum total of all members of my family.

What a landmine!!!!!

So now I'm licking my wounds and healing myself.

Specifically, I haven't lost anything lately.  I have allergies and I have the time to take care of myself.  Tomas has been wonderful getting my cleanup ready for next week.  I have a feeling of doom and sadness.

I'm on the edge of new territory.  I feel I'm entering a new world.   I'm leaving the old behind.

First Comcast was jerking me around $47-$48/mo., so I switched to ATT and they outright lied about how much it cost $55.60.

The landline is the only continuity I've ever known in my life.  Everything else changed.  People came and went.  

The phone number moved with us from 1160 Lawrence Sta. Rd. to Nobili Ave.

Getting rid of the expensive landline and going to 2cellular phones is generating either new feelings of insecurity or is exposing dormant feelings.  Maybe fear of the new.

Every operator at Consumer Cellular has made me feel we're on the same team.  Fellow creatures.  And I've talked to maybe a dozen or more of them asking questions and getting help.  So I've entered the modern age?

catching up with myself

Did it again.  I talked to Toki while she was on the stationary bike and I forgot to tighten my back brace.  I had it on but didn't fasten the straps.  I guess I injure myself to slow myself down.  I do have a habit of turbo charging.

So last night and today I'm  relflecting and taking my pain meds.  I still managed to cook pork and beans last night.  And I'm readying myself for laundry. 

I'm typing better but I guess because of taking typing in high school and being stuck in it for the whole term when it only takes two weeks to actually learn it was so frustrating to me I still feel resentment.  Another form of hurting myself.

I'm going through all the literature I've collected and catching up there too.

I don't know how I got the title to be red or the background of this blog so pretty.  I think this is my favorite blog. 

Let's see how this looks.  TYG I love it.!!!!

All the blogs are reflections of different aspects of myself.  Still learning who I am.  Moving toward who I'm becoming.