Beloved daily word-HiCap 10/15 appt. 2 pm Medicare-Sunny hot spot and picked up

today's Daily Word.  I was feeling punk.  Lee gave me left over unhygienic croissants I gave to birds.  

I ate my corn bread for b'fast.  I want corn dogs.  

'Blazing Saddles' was remade into an animated cartoon 2022 'Paws of Fury'.  Mel Brooks voice actor.  what a world.  

feeling dizzy from post nasal drip sinuses.  blustery windy day full of junky air.  I must drink more water to avert dehydration.  

4 pm I picked up free baby carrots 2 lb out of lb Jesse Mgr authorized Food Max.  then Sunny library I picked up hot spot, book and 'Young Sheldon'.  I walked Sprouts $1.99 salad for dinner.  

watching LO Criminal Intent.  fascinating so much murder on TV.  psychic deaths.  

I let God 6:59 seniors

I filled gas $3.9399 Costco 95050 better price, access.  they open 5 sunny at 6 and $3.9999/gal.  

smooth.  I entered my sweeps, puzzled, soaked in jet massage, puzzled more, lunch with Fred, Walter, Toke.  she asked me mystery woman's name the one asked me Toke's name last week is Jen I asked her.  Toke doesn't know her either?  Toke said Jen sat at our table.  I don't know.  my favorite answer.  dysfunctional family triangulation.  'warning, danger Will Robinson.'  Robby the robot Lost in Space.  

sad and sore 8:03-MY DEAD FRIEND ZOE

better after corn dog.  My Dead Friend Zoe made me cry.  heartfelt.  in a world of lies and deceit TRUTH is a revolutionary act.  I added 2 tubs potassium salt to water soft using my cortisol.   

11:30 am I showered at 24 taking a luxurious amount of time.  lots of parking 12:30.  still extra time I walked Homestead Safeway.  Jane was walking in the store too.  I mentioned rummage sale she said April yeah, right.  I bought chips and asked clerk about deli dogs.  the Nathan's looked peaked so the corn dogs are $2.49 ea or 5/$5.  of course I bought 5.  and still 4 minutes to spare.  practically no one at the library.  

Heavenly.  I'm using walking inside as my exercise.  

pebble toads

Aimee Nezhukumatathil likened herself to a pebble frog but I can't find what they eat or why they climb mountains only that they roll downhill to save themselves from tarantulas.  I hadn't planned on going since the line was across the foyer.  once they opened the door I went and sat.  

finally I googled 'pebble toad food' they eat ants, termites.  

I am being more social.  I went to Presbyterian harvest celebration 3-6.  4 pm everyone I might have known gone I ate watermelon.  today was Baptist rummage too early I missed it.  

under main library 11:52-Sunny salmon

parking was good after 8 at 24 Fitness.  $300/ year $25/mo.  few people during week.  on the road to Sunny senior lunch 9:07 easily 60 in line for salmon.  took half an hour standing didn't help my neck couldn't find my reservation Debbie remembered me and I got in.  it was good just not worth the hassle for baked fish, homemade tartar, fresh dainty beans broccoli diced carrots, baked whole wheat roll, mixed potatoes.  a lot of rigmarole for lunch.  must be salty I'm very thirsty.  

I followed Spirit and a line of cars to LXPY to Homestead to St Just lunch bag.  just as I was going to the under parking Cody mobile showed up I screened so he could safely back in.  HI!  

I made a new charging spot with a footrest and chrome shelf.  and no Lee cooties.  after standing in line for half an hour my hip hurts I have no desire to stand at the puzzle table.  I'm tired.

it's also the strange energy of new people.  adapting and adjusting.  

or do I want a fruit tart for dinner?  

arrived 6:59 am

the vicissitudes of life.  things just pop into my mind.  it's busy in here.  

I left the chrome in the trunk 19% charge.  go figure.  usually 85%.

heavenly.  I visited with Cody after my soak.  I'm enjoying puzzling.  different worlds the way I enjoy traveling.  

I took cornbread as per my dream many moons ago.  it seemed a ridiculous dream except for corn bread aficionados.  I brought 4 pcs Walter didn't want Trudy Kenny showed up so Toke and Fred.  

3 pm epiphany mom and dad were mentally ill.  the sisters too.  that's why they can't love me.  my purpose is to neutralize the crazy.  

heaven is the bits you like and leaving the rest-Elizabeth's b'day-9/27 first presby 3/6 pm

the subliminal music is working.  I'm having more fun.

OMG my neck and skull feel normal.  first in 25 years.  

I shared the Sunny menus at lunch.  

so I carefully navigated to county library and considered Savers, home, Sunny, and came back to central to park under and dry my swim.  I stopped at Home Safeway found 2 toys, St Pat bow tie and Haribo refill battery Winnie Pooh fan too cute.  $2.50 and $7 probably never seen again.  glucosamine $12.50.  chips, cornbread.  

SIGH-due diligence

I just feel like crying.  I'm crying inside.  too much energy fighting myself.  I'm tired.  

Iniraja (Sourcewise) returned my call regarding changes losing medicare benefits.  new plans not final 'til 10/1.  appointments start 10/15.  she couldn't navigate website either 10 minutes no results.  

and Sunnyvale menu posted.  I printed.  

93 degrees today.  80 tomorrow.  50% chance of rain tomorrow my county hold expires tomorrow.  I'm pondering.  I cleared my car window channel of debris.  

took all day to recover

I slept and rested after an hour of classical stretch.  2003 I was so sick I only saw the funny in King of Queens not the pain.  denial is a powerful tool.  

shooters only knew hate.  I received love from non family members.  I finally stopped asking why my family hated me.  love and hate are forms of energy.  when anyone stares it can be felt.  the predator and prey.  

King of Queens TV 2003

I woke so angry not a clue.  so I burned off the adrenaline and cortisol by going out to the car and working on next month's bills.  after an hour I felt calmer and realized the threats of murder and mayhem acting on TV were unlike feeling the hatred pouring off my mom onto me my whole life.  I cut off feeling in order to survive emotionally and spiritually.  

I think that the mass shooters are already dead inside.  they have nothing to lose.  they kill the innocent they envy.  

one good thing mom taught me was to use anger energy to get things done.  I saw her clean house twice in my life.   I was already cooking and cleaning @ 8 years old.  my Cinderella complex.  school was my only respite.  

I figured out how to view the year in blogs.  click on 2025.  I walked book sale.  

the new me picked up Nob ads-Bonny's b'day

I took my time dressing for the day.  I feel wonderfully relaxed.  SCARY.

lunch was pleasant.  Fred, Walter, Toke such fun company.  I love laughing.

indigenous day the city and county closed and Sunny open.  Woo Hoo!!  seniors menu today.  I'll wait to see Sunny menu.  I hung around to see the bingo prizes.  the candy I ate made me too sleepy and tired.  

I went to Safeway scored free water with $5 sushi.  and they had corny bread $5.  clearance window cling Easter $1.50 so I got 2.  and 4 2/$1 chips.

I'm relaxing at main.  they finished paving parking lots early.  David (Asian) and Sammy (Indian) are the avid puzzlers.  I finished alphabet puzzle.  

I'm having such fun doing nothing.  It's boring acting responsibly.  I've had a lifetime of it.  I'm preparing next months bills.  after a certain age we should go to a monastery and meditate on peace.  maybe then we'd have some.

just got back in-FRED's b'day

0% battery.  alas poor chrome.  I charged phone from chrome.  

took some thinking to regain my account.

I'm pondering Anthem Blue.  no Silver Sneakers next year.  I have to call Sourcewise to plan next year.  

SIMPLIFY!  Fred brought b'day Stan donuts.  Sunshine brought St Just choc cake.  happy b'day to me.  tomorrow Bonny's b'day.  when I made note clever Fred said a cold Jan winter inferred results in September babies.  I sat outside waiting in parking and when Fred came out I knew to give Fred Nob large crumb b'day cornbread.

Sunny 2 dozen seniors already lined up

Herman and Yanti were there.  I parked with visibility a priority.  8 am no line.  he asked if I were going home, no to exercise.  I detoured to Danny's recycle to redeem Inge's bottles $2.94 like a dollar/small bag.  at 8:30 am no one there.  I got there just before the rush.  

9 am seniors last shady parking spot I soaked then entered my sweeps and lunchtime.  everyone missed me and worried.  when I thought to call no phone.  I had figs from the gym and avocados.  early bird gets the goodies.  Jennifer gave out 1 cookie/ to write off the cost to the senior lunch program.  

tomorrow Fred's b'day.  

guys finished fantasy no picture puzzle.  complete.  amazing.  

ME-new behaviors-paid cell

all about me.  I missed my childhood, never too late.  I woke sans plan.  I decided on seniors soak and gamed while I waited for tub to open.  then I pondered Inge bottles ready for pick up 3 small bags maybe redeem tomorrow.  I could get used to this.  

9:45 am Sunny half full.  74 degrees hot humid.  I drove from Inge's to Los padres, construction detour Forbes, San Tomas, Homestead, Wolfe, ECR, Fair Oaks, old SF less than half hour 7.4 miles.  I'm old SF too.  

Herman & Yanti said if I want salmon on the 26th Friday tomorrow are sign ups 8-9:30 am.  Louie and Ginny agreed.  I was pondering beef stir fry.  I could sign up and go to seniors tomato beef and friends.  Wednesday til 7 pm.  

I picked up a St Just lunch and sun dress.  I forgot Tue, Wed, Thur clothes give away.  

3 pm I've been playing puzzle sans picture.  legs swollen I put them up on poof left back ribs screaming at me.  I dodged Lee being brat.  

csaa jasmine

yay! me!  I updated mileage even less than 3k/yr and checked I'm on auto pay.  new behaviors.

every chair is different.  my legs are hurting from my back.  

oh, bless the library air 90 degree weather this week.  

special hours-sunday 10/5 due to art wine

I stopped at $tree for chips and mirror.  only had compact/brush.  cute hedgehog design.  I brought my sand from yesterday.  

best summer fest ever.  

I looked all over thinking I lost $100 key when I clipped my chips.  too expensive.  

Guidance my favorite dance

I showered at 8 after rescuing a blue Xfinity shopping bag and 2 cans in the senior parking lot.  much needed soak in the tub I stopped at Sprouts unsure about lunch.  I walked store $6 sack lunch.  St J box of bakery onion bagels and garlic french bread, and weekend.  

I was hungry ate both chips 1 sand granola bar.  I forgot the food art wine fest today.  I was trepidatious about parking.  half the cars are not library patrons.  I puzzled and read.  pondered Safeway maybe tomorrow.  

the library closed at 5 pm and 2 dozen cars were still parked under the library.  fest closes at 6.  oh well.  

dinner was Sprouts bag and St J tuna crackers with avocado.    

still trying to get through to Walter

after lunch Asian and white woman helped demonstrate ignoring vampires and why adults interrupting like a 2 yr old is distracting not cute or friendly and a waste of energy.  he's me 40 years ago.  

what do I want for dinner?  I deserve the best.

I bought 4 tacos $4 at Jack in the Box with Fred's lettuce and lunch peaches and avocado delicious nutritious.

Home Depot h2o softener WOW!

light was flashing for cleaner and I need potassium salt.  

I was passively avoiding Walter still stuck in Teresa mode.  lunch he chose to sit with the complainers then after he sought me out to dump and I told him point blank I can't continue his choice of immature avoidance and blame.  he doesn't take any responsibility for his life and I have to save myself and cut him off.  uncomfortable and necessary.  

I decided to go to home Depot to order and entering the store customer service had a long line.  desk manager asked if I needed help I told him I wanted 3 cleaners and 40 lb potassium salt delivered.  he had available clerk write me up in and out 10 minutes while returns waited.  same day free delivery 4 pm.  WOW!  

I need 12 hours down time

back at work/school.   I'm feeling OK. 

coffee or tea? Sunnyvale

I arrived before 9 and rummaged in my car consolidating lunch boxes.  

I showered @ 24 used the internet for sweeps and to update blogs.  

I had no idea what I wanted to do.  I like one step at a time.  following spirit like the pioneers.  I bring my pillow and sit watching and listening.  very relaxing.  I even enjoy old Frank Sinatra.  30's 40's music when he was young.  maybe when he was still innocent.  before he became a big liar and cheat.  I can't tolerate liars and cheats unless they're family.  

I walked Target no 18" wipers.  doesn't look adjustable.  sprinkling reminded me.  feels like God kisses.  

I looked online Goodyear sent me to O'Reilly who installed $10 wiper for me.  5 minutes.  50% chance of rain tomorrow.

open for Monday

sans hot spot.  and it worked today.  I finished "bon appetite" puzzle.  senior shower and tub perfection.  nice chat with Laura.  John needs pet scan.

well played.  lunch was OK Fred, Toke, Walter.  he's still choosing problems.  he chooses to call complaining conversation while I know he's just programming his autopilot for more problems.  he chose to sit with Teresa of like mind.  I've noticed they want someone to rescue them.  good luck. 

I decided to pick up Cup today good call tomorrow big Apple event flashing signs portending traffic delays.  library upstairs very quiet.  I focused on perfect shady spots driving over and voila!  

and now I'm charging my phone down to 10%.  back up phone 99% has 3 emails I can't access.  

Wings the entire series-return hot spot

I guess it's just mindless entertainment.  when they disagree there's no physical violence or threats of murder or maiming.  so nothing like my childhood.  

I guess most people have a calm simple home.  huh.

I decided to park in the sun #1 space at Sunny half hour early.  one thing the heat soothes my arthritis.  only supposed to climb to 81 degrees.  of course hotter in sun.  

still angry

I've eaten 2 of 4 ripe bananas.  I put them in a recycled plastic box.  it's like solid pudding.  I'm hoping the potassium will calm me down.  I'm eating the good bits.  some is bruised.  goes well with Cheez-It crackers.  I've never eaten so much banana before.  an experiment.

I remembered I wanted to fill gas and went 8:30.  drove in drove out.  I checked gas prices online.  same both locations.  

I ate St Just sandwich + tomato slice for b'fast.  I started watching "Wings" TV I don't get its popularity.  

24 was good.  lovely cool overcast from fires pollution.  

I love cutting off the crust and adding fresh veg.  

I was a slave-lunch Sunny no Emma

watching "finding your roots" I realize I was merely property to my parents.  my rich auntie wanted to adopt me providing me with a better life that mom and dad couldn't accept.  and so began their life of toil.  

Newton's law of equal and opposite reaction is basically karma.  what goes around comes around.  "judge not lest ye be judged" warns of self condemnation.  my family taught negative values and the results of that thinking and acting.  makes me sad it's so simple.  they couldn't accept that either.

refreshing shower at 24 then lunch at Sunny 9:30 I'm 4th to last.  everyone likes meatloaf and mash.  and the enthusiastic dancers.  music must start at 9 when they open.  it's from 1930s-40s.  not our era but classic.  the universal language.  I'm playing with the menu I downloaded.  imagine me downloading.  

I love reading my blog.  I can see what I've done and the changes I've made.   

5:30 pm I'm feeling unreasonably angry today dad's death day.  OK I'm angry Mitzi hypocrite crying to me when I warned her to leave him be.  so I'm moving to burn off the chemicals.  when mom was mad was the only time she cleaned.  

I prefer auto update-I scolded Walter.

he's anxious.  I'm done reminding him his body remembers his dad dying October.  I don't want to cut him off but I may have to save myself.  he does his body a disservice.  lack of respect.  like the planet the body has a tipping point of no re creation.  I cannot witness another train wreck.  

I don't know how to engage auto update.  sometimes it comes on not today.  

and tomorrow I have lunch in Sunnyvale.  

I stopped at Chase withdrew, Merriwest deposit, walked Sprouts 3-25 mg CBD $3 ea I thought long and hard bought with 2 goat cheese/$5.  then a lovely lunch with Fred and Walter.  

I like the leisurely

I like taking my time.  I made ramen added salad and amino and chili.  yesterday I made chili burritos.  I still have cooked meat 10/14.  I am blessed.  

I went to 24 showered then Walmart I paid PGE and bought low salt chips for taste test $1.50.  sometimes the oil quality isn't worth it.  I walked Prune Lucky's nothing.  I picked up senior to go lunch then I thought I went to St Just bag lunch.  new behavior.  

I'm feeling BOING!! 

I just watched 2001

movies and TV gave me a vacation from my nightmare life.  I wouldn't have survived without them.  I had no one I could trust.  

my body and soul are releasing dad's last month and week of his death.  I release his pain and suffering.  26 years of his stored pain.  

I decided to shower and run.  the new me takes breaks.  I paid Citibank and decided I can do more when cooler this week.  another self compassion.  88 projected so more likely 90 degrees.  60% humidity.

rob schneider connection

I've enjoyed his movies and now I understand the spiritual connection.  "The Chosen One" has suicide, alcoholism, Mutant Message Down Under, Black Elk Speaks, etc. the same warning the last over 40 years that we're burning up the planet.  we're killing mother earth.  it didn't get accepted because it doesn't fit a category.  it can't be easily pigeon-holed and discarded.  so it was ignored and forgotten since 2010.  I found it by accident.

human nature kills what it doesn't understand.