bingo exercise

my back is sore in a used way.  not feeling injured just fatigued.  I soaked, biked, stretched so by 1 pm I was tired.  home 2:30.  I napped watching TV.  

muscles unbound

I soaked, biked, stretched 2 1/2 hours.  

I located cover for CD.  I wasn't sure where I put it.  I put it in my glove compartment.  I want to keep it in chrome case.  

I can't believe it's Tuesday.  I'm freaking out.  mom's b'day and death day are here.  maybe Walter's OK.  he's had the benefit of my counseling I've had no one.  

I soaked stretched biked

my new regimen.  2 1/2 hours of fitness.  if I want to be pain free.  4 hours optimum condition Radio Av.  

3 pm after my games I went to Nob Hill and bought 4 blueberry almonds, 2 Mac, 2 meat, salad mix, chocolate drink I wanted, 4 Tina mini burritos.  

oohh, the chocolate drink is delicious.  I've been wanting chocolate soda.  I ate a green and brown burrito.  I had my beet and gummy.  

5-6 pm Idiot Test making my brain elastic.  

lunch I told Walter about the Gut Health book.  only about 5 pages of info and the rest repetition and case studies.  we all had sandwiches and relaxed.  I got a plate of leftover veg pasta glad I ordered a sandwich.   

I love that I don't have to watch Wheel unless I want.  

Seabiscuit 2003-baby hummingbird gone

I missed it due to my fibroid tumor exploratory surgery.  dealing with the sisters criticizing and ambushing me.  threatening physically violent eviction.  then vowing to help me move.  CRAZY.  GOD knows I still feel brutalized.  I feel trampled by my sisters.  

I've denied my feelings avoiding thinking and feeling the constant pain embarrassment humiliation purposely created from my family.  I can't pretend anymore.  I'm forced to feel it.  

they made me the enemy to form them into a cohesive unit.  the same old blame game Trump and Hitler used to manipulate support to their causes to rally the troops.  fabricate a common enemy.  it works because of pack mentality, simple biology.  always has, always will.  

4 pm I put out trash bin and replaced the liner.  10 minutes outside I forgot to wipe off pollen =sinus headache.  5-7 pm Idiot Test.

I'll watch Tolkien 'War of the Rohhirim.'  

I'm feeling a little clearer.  

I soaked and biked seniors (Mike's memorial)

I had no idea what I was going to do.  I brought in the lb of dried pinto beans and found 7 magazines to read on the bike.  I wore my mom's butterfly wings pin and moonstone bracelet.  

ugh 11:30 I feel sick like it's Aug 26 my anniversary.  waves of dread.  

drove to Legion debating where to park and Gloria showed up.  she spotted Toki who parked next to me.  we went in together it was OK.  I started to cry and composed myself.  they had a beautiful display of pictures of friends and family on vacations, a full life.  and a memento of a bottle opener just like Mike.  Party on.  lunch was by Gunther's restaurant on Meridian Av.  excellent BBQ Mike's favorite.  the music of our lives played in the background truly a celebration of life.  

at 2 I went to pick up holds at central and puzzled 'til closing at 4.  I remembered I wanted chicken nuggets from $ tree and batteries.  home for Idiot Test at 5.  I feel supported and nurtured for the first time in my life.  

it's raining in my heart

and today.  I picked up free 64 oz cucumber lime and bought strawberry hibiscus $2.50.  drove to remodeling Walmart a mess to pay PGE.  fewer OTC available.  my anthem card wouldn't work for beets so I called Felicia customer service.  she's checking and I can go to CVS, Walgreen, Safeway, Rite Aid.  it wasn't me it was the account.  habituated I'm so quick to self judge and criticize.  I'm recognizing and forgiving.   

I get to seniors and yesterday Mall let a woman take home a puzzle who chose Van Gogh.  left crap on the table.  I don't have to touch it.  I remembered Jodi's avocado perfectly ripe I shared with Fred and Toki.  left overs so minimal and not good.  Walter sat with Teresa I came home early.  hurray!  off the hook.

and Cup open 'til 9 I can take my time.  or tomorrow.  my shows preempted by NFL draft.  

I love my game shows more than sleep.  my peeps too.  Fred and Toki are just as anxious as I am about Mike's memorial tomorrow.  Whew!  makes me feel less wimpy.

bliss

I do what I prefer when I prefer.

I'm noticing so much more.  as if I wore blinders before.  my autism. 

10 am I put my suit and towel in car Cody and bookmobile hooray!  car was covered in sycamore pollen I brushed it off and it kept dusting the car.  I fell asleep twice watching Idiot Test and woke refreshed. 

I drove to Sunny 6 pm Sprouts then library.  I considered Cup but found an interesting puzzle stayed 'til 9 closing.  

watching my game shows bliss

I'm finally living my life.  I do what I choose.  I don't take orders from family.  I'm listening to my mellow healing music.  and if I can't handle Mike's memorial I can leave.  

I started reading NOLO on wills and trusts.  the best part is going online printing pages.  

I soaked then biked half hour wanting more movement.  bingo exercise cancelled.  watching game shows is comforting.  

best ever trivia show 5-6 Sherrie Shepherd

I'm having a terrible emotional day.  Jessica at Discover waived my late fees.  

I'm crying for me and Eric, Mike, George.  Walter tried to appropriate my sadness.  Mike's service is this Saturday.  Walter tried to say he knew Mike.  NOPE.  not even close.  reminded me of Ella May.  

7 am Coleman Costco little traffic dime less/gal

I really am a new me.  I'm tired from fighting myself.  overweight people are tired from weightlifting 24/7.  the weight is our protection.  a moat, a barrier.  

fill up was so quick.  despite everybody left side gas tank.  

I washed the asparagus.  soaking overnight the easy way and leaving on the bands 'til I'm ready.  maybe cooked with sausage.  

Me Me Me.  

I'm teaching myself.  

driving Easter Sunday even better than Superbowl

at the big cup Safeway I bought my chips and got my free water.  I forgot library closed.  I drove to Via Vico memories.  

then feeling sweaty I checked out Fremont St gym.  apartments and not busy.  I decided to check Safeway 24 gym and feeling hungry used my found Starbucks for ham Swiss croissant.  delicious.  

proceeded to Sunny library 2 holds 'All Creatures 4' and "Heal'.  arrived 12:45 puzzled 'til 4:30 then walked Sprouts clearance pumpkin pie.  Nob Hill I bought salad $1.98, sour passion fruit frozen chunks sale $3.99, sale $5.99 3 Mac nuts, peas $2.48.  made a great salad.  frozen peas defrost in salad.  so good.  

I forgot idiot test.  watched second hour.  I'm feeling so relaxed from passion fruit.  

I feel renewed senior center

no St Just Holy Saturday.  I picked up my movies, bought 6 $ tree frozen tv dinners and came home.  Watching Seabiscuit.  I loved horse books.  Walter Farley, Marguerite Henry.  

I'm having a hard time breathing.  definitely my back.  with my legs elevated I feel fine.  

I had burrito for b'fast, chick nugget lunch, riblet mac dinner.  

watching Tug of Words-Sunny seniors

I've never had such freedom.  feels new and weird.  I can Sunny puzzle.  

went to Lucky's bought almond bear claw $3 clearance saved $4 and 5 low salt for the price of 2.  freebie sizzle drizzle country crock.

10 am sunny seniors Armando amazing!  live 8 piece big band music Fri and dancing.  mostly Asians I blend right in.  great 30's 40's big band.  2% milk, brownie, banana.  real coffee cups.  good I got here early for parking and seating.  fills fast.  10:30 serving most people pack up and go.  I guess to save it for dinner.  real plates chicken cordon Bleu, prepped crispy broccoli cauliflower, scalloped cheesy potatoes.  so good.  didn't miss home baked whole wheat dinner roll.  cooked on site.  

Sunny library parked in shade and considered puzzles no.  picked up Wicked, Moana 2, Sleep Therapy Music.

Sprouts had 3 calm gummies half price.  $31.  I'm so worth it.  home regular time for 12:30 Lingo.  I'm blessed.  feeling a little tired.

everything next to my TV chair fell over and I just calmly picked it up no biggy.  

55 degrees

Walter is very stressed and tried to dump it.  I'm not having it I refuse to keep him stuck.  

people saying it's going to rain but no forecast.  just clouds.  

I woman ed up and called Pandora Winn to offer help.  I was too sick surviving to process Eric's death.  Walter's problem May 4th coming up.  

Trump paid $6 million to El Salvador for American prisoner detention.  ABC news.  Who'll be next.  

tomorrow lunch at Sunny then library pick up and puzzles.  sprouts, $tree.

no more toxic situations

I've decided Monstro can have the nurses station.  I have the rest of the place.  I have the rest of the world.  people think Marie is crazy.  no crazier than the rest of us and she's basically good.  nothing like Monstro.  not mean or evil.  

Mallory fixed the puzzle blaming the cleaning crew I set her straight on Monstro bragging she does what she wants.  so I played.  bingo was challenging.  whew.  

my Monstro b'day

I forgot.  wow I'm better.  Monstro came looking for me when I wasn't at the puzzle table.  passing in the hall she called me a bitch so I echoed.  

Diane is not a friend.  she took Fred's seat then tried to trade for Toki's.  I don't like my loyalty being tested.  metro sexual offered her his meal she refused to let me have it.  I wasn't surprised.  she's consistently a provocateur.  an odd little ego game.

so home at 12:15.  Sunny has 'Wicked' ready.  I found Moana 2 too.  

I love watching people win money.  makes me happy.  

I cooked a pound of bacon very greasy 12 pieces.  I used the real estate newspaper section and 2 pieces of parchment paper 5 minutes on high and 25 on simmer to soak up the grease.    

I considered Sunny and I'm now full of bacon.  I ate tomato bacon sandwich.  so good.  I didn't miss the lettuce at all.

I decided to return county movies

beautiful full moon from sat.  and a lovely 54 degrees.  I drove up to the auto return and both closed.  I thought I'd have to drive around when I saw drop off .  so I got to the senior center at 6:45 perfectly.  

morning was good.  lunch I got extra mash and carrots.  then Witch was back on the puzzle table I left her saying she does what she wants.  fat SUV blocked me in I had to reverse to load my bag.  and on to my heavenly game shows.  I love people winning.

I looked up 8 Harry Potter movie collection.  Wicked available at Sunny tomorrow.  

Monstro at puzzle table after lunch.  "she goes where she wants."  I have a monster sister don't want another.  I went home 12:45 games I enjoy.  

I've been journaling 50 years

I never had anyone.  and I can't miss what I never had.  yet I feel I'm missing something.  an emptiness.

I have things I plan to do get water from the car, put out the garbage bin, bring in fruit from the trunk.  I have to return overdue county movies.

I'm enjoying being.  I'm watching Hallmark movies about families comparing them to mine.  I never did that.  too conditioned not to question for fear of punishment.  

I tried to pay my city water bill online it said problem with the server.  I used my phone following instructions.  new behavior so stressful.  I'm exhausted.  

10 am Easter egg hunt senior center-YIPPEE!! hot spot 1:50 pm

I went to G Lucky's for clearance 5 pine spray 1 lip balm and clearance $2 hot cross buns.

so cute 3-10 yrs old.  I puzzled, soaked, and watched the kids.  on to St Just.  Charity and Sandy.

happy happy childhood.  I ate one lunch of meat cheese, drank one juice and filling in the spaces with 3 snicker doodles.  happy happy me.  I asked for 2 extra chips.  2 cupcakes.  

2/6-4/12 (due 5/3) without wifi connection.  I paused Sunny.  

I shopped $tree.  6 dinners, 2 hair clips, coconut pineapple water, 2 spaghetti o's.  

full day already

I picked up free pop well prebiotic soda, 2 clearance Zum spray fresheners 50 cents ea, lava Reeses cups.  then $ tree for glucose, flips and metal hair clip, clearance parchment, wax paper, juice, 3 plastic bowls.  

a full day.  

Magic

Rainbow hummingbird has been feeding her baby non stop.  it's big.  

I don't like not knowing yet here I am.  lunch with Fred, Ken and Trudy, Toki.  I got extra from support energy.  

bingo exercise is so good.  I'm missing it already.  I'm having a harder time walking.  my hips and legs. 

I came home 12:30 to watch Lingo and Idiot Test.  2:30 People Puzzler.  3 pm I paid Citibank due today, Merriwest deposit, dropped off Sunny and walked library.  considered and discarded Harry Potter.  Sprouts I bought discount half peach pie and cherry turnovers.  home to good eats.

umbrella light

Saturday I picked it up with a fancy glass perfume bottle at St Just lunch.  it works great.  3 way takes 4 AA batteries.  

I was locked out of my voice mail.  con cell changed protocol to Texas.  it was messed up.  I had to use spare to talk then Hunter had me shut off phone for half hour.  I don't know.  now it works no explanation.

I was soaking and a man reminded me of X

I was so allergic I started sneezing and my head filled up.  I was like that 'til my shower. 

I had tiny seafood salad and 2 extra pasta mine and Walter.  and home 1 pm for the kid idiot test.  so much fun.  Ben is gentle with kids.  he riffs on adults.  

I changed my mind

 auto correct.  

Library Shepherds Purse drying out

seniors I puzzled then I swam.  corner house by library yard sale again reminded me when Todd complained my 2 weeks.  I checked with city 6/year allowed.  I picked up St Just lunch.  Charity and Chris no weekend bags left.    I had completely forgotten rummage sale did a quick walk through.  

I finally realized I don't have to eat the bread I ate the meat and cheese.  and cookies.  I'll have turkey sand at home.  

Friday freebie

small dog food tin and Barralitos soda.  I feel so lovely quiet and calm.  home 12:55 for game shows.  peaceful.  

smoker's cough

I never smoked much, just enough to balance the absence of second hand smoke.  and now I have a smoker's cough.  I finally figured out the herbs I'm taking are removing toxins into my blood.  I have to remember to drink more water and get more rest.  

I'm moving slowly

as long as I'm moving.  as Walt said 'keep moving forward'.  

I picked up salad 11:20 went upstairs group hung out half hour took my spot.  good SALA meeting, Bill explained CSAA responsible for insurance not me.  I don't have to hire an attorney unless I want to sue CSAA.  $2500 small claims.  accident guys shouldn't have threatened me.  

he explained courts charge filing fees for each motion.  that's why Susan Kanclier sent letters to Aiko re restraining order.  every year a new nuisance from the sisters kept me exhausted.  

mourning doves

I didn't have the energy or inclination to process my family's betrayal before.  Glory has the physical ability to leave her family, I'm so jealous I can taste it.  I cried for us 'til 10:30.  I tried calling back Rosie at 8 when upset I wrote 9.  so I soaked to calm myself and called again at 9:30 to ask about 1) car accident referral to lawyers and 2) resolve inheritance advice.  Should I have held my sisters accountable?  would they go to jail for embezzlement?   

bread cast upon the waters.  I was sharing Ramadan dried dates and encountered 16 chocolate truffles.  YUM.

the vague sadness, anxiety, PTSD has been explained.  

CASECONNECT app online ads re car accidents 4 questions huge results?