i never had a b'day cake i didn't buy myself

sunday morning adopted boys from sierra leone cried their first cake and i cried with them.  i usually bought the family's or none.  i never realized how cheap they were.

considering going lucky's tomorrow.  my back hurting.  i'm feeling pressured.  realized i don't have to exercise.

the hardest job is loving myself.  70+ years of being taught to hate myself is a lot to overcome reprogram.  this house is imbued with the essence of blame, criticism and hatred.  

3 pm resting.  cooked toaster oven Lucky's clearance 6 bacon wrapped asparagus spears half hour for crispy 6 min at a time.  no instructions.  free $4.49 eggs.  1 chips.  decided on coconut cream frozen pie easier to consume than chocolate.  bar s hot dogs creative.  spaghetti, mash, beans, sprouts etc.  

crashed again.