seniors 7:30

I'm getting back in the swing of things.  swim excellent.  I puzzled 'til lunch.  they omitted a bunch of people from lunch list Toki included was annoyed.  pork was pretty good.  Fred and Lhosa gave me their leftovers.  I went to mission returned spot and 4 movies.  then I went to Carlos for Peter translation.  I gave him apple for dessert.  considered shopping not today.

tcb

I exercised at seniors, picked up 2 leftover hot veg pasta with Toki and Fred.  stopped at chase by sprouts no inside ATM.  sprouts had 5 clearance CBD water.  I hung around to look at weird old lexis driver and remembered to cash state tax refund at Merry West.  as I was driving to Sunny to pick up spot and return 'Good Burger 2' I withdrew from Flora Chase.  then I deposited at Sunny Merry.  at Sunny library i took care of business and did one 300 piece puzzle in an hour.  Sprouts 99 cents lb baby carrots.   home no channel 5 so bed after wheel.  too revved up I couldn't sleep 'til 2 am and CBD jelly.

i'm feeling upset practicing peace- smog $46.75

I walked to nob hill and bought avocado ice cream.  except for high sugar and salt delicious.  50 cent orange hostess cupcake and dollar orange liquor.  hurrah me!  home 9:30 I decided to try green smog.  half price  retest.  easy no one, two food trucks and bus stop.  practically a carnival.  

lucky's I bought 4 burritos, chips, lettuce, 2 cheeses.  i'm feeling deliciously tired.

I am flexible and flowing

my good memories are stored in my car.  this house and garage reek of the family.   their influence, the family traditions of depression, alcohol and suicide.  I've been running my entire life trying to escape.  I've spent the last 16 years healing a lifetime of disappointments.  Mitzi always asked me what I wanted and then proceeded in great detail to explain her denial.  always a slap in the face like from mom.  huh, I feel angry.  I imagined I was used to a lifetime of abuse.  I filled one barrow put away.  so depressing I made some eggs and slept an hour.

I got up to watch the game show at 10 am 'temptation' channel off air.  reminded me I have the entire 'medium' 1-7 seasons.  

noon; uncle died 3/21/17 ex's b'day and Eric 6/13/17.  auntie 3/10/24 and I were suffering, missing our brothers.  they're all together.

I drove too close to prickly pear tore off left mirror cover

my post completely disappeared including title.  i'm sure I saved it.  oh, well.

I parked on the street and carefully replaced the cover and drove slowly to lucky's for free Gatorade tablets and herbal tea.  $13.50.  I really don't like driving.

lunch was good.  fish and extra 3 x size serving.  Toki, Fred, Mike.  I went to Carlos' he glued cover.  looked at the new hood, lights gap.  so new shiny.  started emptying the trunk.  so many memories.  all my stuff, everyone's stuff is memories time to let go.  hurts my stomach.  

football draft nothing on TV early bed.  

7:30 seniors

driving is now work.  it used to be a pleasure.  a privilege.  now too much traffic, too many bad drivers.  it's a j o b.

my first day driving.  I stopped at sprouts and bought a dinner sandwich 1.99, giant artichoke 99 and celery bites 99.  I consider 2 chases I'm not ready.

waiting on mekennon driver 7:05 am call-got car home safe 2:30 pm

3 messages from Carlos yesterday 2-5.  car is ready.  i called him today pedro called also i offered carlos $100 to arrange drop off and test drive to his garage then deliver to senior center or garage.  i don't know.  i'm not overly anxious to drive.  it's become a job.  like cooking.  

I have check book $2000 to Pedro.  already paid $500 cashed 10th.  Carlos said Pedro increased to $3000.  I left Pedro's check with Carlos.  he'll call him.  

Pedro notes 3/20 Wednesday towed car $120 Delgado towing, $1000 parts, $1000 labor, the $500 for welding fixing frame.  Tuesday 3/26 10:30 am verified Pedro repair costs with Carlos.

I walked to mission which I wouldn't with a car.  I'm not missing the car except for laundry and specious shopping.  i'm not missing the car.