up since 5

i've arranged a do what i want day.  i had butter apricot jam bread for b'fast.  i washed prepped red potatoes to cook with corned beef.  expiration 8/23.  discovered gnats in herb, i put in freezer.  busy morning already.  

i'm feeling weird and floaty.  i was playing scratchpath game.  keeps being interrupted by ads so i stopped.  i'm waiting don't know for what.  i'm practicing patience.  i finally have a family i like.  

i remembered the big bag of spinach added to corned beef added 3 eggs, steamed half with garlic onion topped with swiss provolone.  

88 and 90 degrees summer is here

what a world.  i slept without tv.  i ate can of chili and corn yesterday.  new behavior.  i only woke twice.  i think it's the goli calm candy.  or maybe the chili.  staggs is like homemade.  

loaded free smart water went and bought 2 garbanzos and 2 pork beans.  4 spam.  seniors showered, charged and computed upstairs.  relaxed.  gloria brought 2 st j big bags washed organic spinach i gave one to alex.  gloria didn't want to leave her dad alone too long didn't play bingo.  i told trudy i would join her for half hour bingo.  stayed 45 she won $5 snack bar gave it to me.  kelly wright showed up too shy to play.  just made it to central library 10 minutes to spare returning combo.  

sale sign to church rummage hurrah!!  $45 for 2 new summer dresses, drink infuser, 3 rings, laundry rack, folding step chair ladder, movies, antenna stand, mini cannon, fake book box.  2 hours.  

home opened can corned beef.  chopped napa cabbage.  so good.  ate entire bag cinnamon donuts dozen dessert.  

calm 7:52 am-lucky fav food-chips

practicing is difficult.  i'm waiting for dollar tree to open.  bought more goli calm and c candy.  took it into cool gym locker.  

new behavior new be and have.  new me.  if i want a better life i have to be willing to be better.

I swam half an hour decided to rinse and wear shorts and tee for the bookmobile.  I forgot cody over at central park for earth arbor today.  oh, well.  new.  sf psych students wheel of fortune for emergency preparedness.  like we haven't lived with crises our entire lives.  gave me idea for motion detector light, insulate with plastic to break contact.  

i'm being my own mother.  getting the love support understanding i needed and never had.  maybe all heavy toddlers self soothing with food.

lunch sat at the front table with sydney and ed.  new behavior.

stomach stilll upset 3:30

garlic toast b'fast will fix it.  i hope.  running to the bathroom is a drag.  

i finally finished the fresh mozzarella from a month(?) ago.  sliced on toast.  so old turned to brie.  never buy that again.  

lunch ok i love my family.  went sunny picked up movies.  

playing mah jongg is helping me change focus.  i have to stay flexible to improve.

tim rooney

watching 'adam 12' mickey second son.  died of mystery disorder.  amazing how many die in their 60's.

seniors swam an hour seemed like forever.  i was so achy and sore.  and stretching and jet massage pain all gone.  broccoli  carrot slaw onions upset stomach.  nausea.  kept eating candy.  i remembered bed bath beyond bankruptcy closing took 4 calls using senior center phone to get remaining balances 2 gift cards $63 left.  after lunch i went found 2 a reds eye vitamins and $20 bath mat, 2 laundry bags.  used 2 coupons.  done and done.  great exercise walking store.  old store was too cluttered, claustrophobic.

At home i added 4 month cleaner to water softener, cooked fish sticks for dinner.

i'm still here

I must still have work to do.  no idea what.  i am changing the bummer energy here.  60+ years from 4 others.  playing continuously when home.  so i'm raising, improving planet energy.  I finished eating eh kevin's chicken for b'fast with excellent garlic toast.

went costco gas 9 am.  20.3 mpg.  back and stomach acting up.  right toe nail seems ingrown, something i experienced a lot as a child.  everything hurt until i determined food had a lot to do with how i felt.  i feel different so hopefully improving.  i'm living differently.  doing with love not fear.  after lunch i finished flower puzzle.

something about watching adam 12 reassures me and calms me.  

good day.  did what i want.

feeling blue

probably the inactivity.  sleeping and eating.  baby susan.  watching adam 12.  i finally figured my fascination i was denied my childhood.  i'm having it now.