must be me

check engine light like 2 weeks ago Kiely x Monroe.  39 o s.  8:15 Carlos Hernandez on phone loan repayment terms.  after he reset computer i gave him $20 for lunch Merry Christmas.  i just want him to know i appreciate.

i'm feeling very insecure.  i don't know what i want to do.  just finished lunch.  lucky's free Karoun spreadable yogurt.  nothing at safe way ad.  i'm looking online since i didn't get them in the mail.  and i'm ok.  a little annoyed and still ok.  i just feel so tired.  

my hips are always better after exercising.  i may be having mini strokes.  today i can spell.  some days it takes me awhile to figure out some words but that could be my autism.  or being distracted.  

watching Christmas movies i know i'd rather be by myself than with my insane sisters or annoyed by anyone.  i can be and have exactly what i want without being criticized or humiliated or embarrassed.  peace.

stayed up to watch 'generation a' 2014 each of us unique.  that's one thing they got right.  i'm binge-ing autism.  

mary-el

6:30 lucid dream of India 12 yr old boy with broken back in bed.  i visit him with his younger brother and sister to say stretches will heal him.  he laments he lost herbs i say he doesn't require it.

one of 3 visions i had from 1985.  i died 3 times from back injuries.  in India being ridden down by messengers,  south sea island shark, in Britain battle by broadsword.  

i watched 'now you see it' and ate egg omelet.  watched news and 'sit and stretch'.  dressed and to seniors.  showered, stretched, book mobile.  picked up lunch sat said hello to table and Walter came with diorama present.  i asked him to carry and we put in car.  i snacked beef stick and we went fireside room talking 'til 1.  my right hip screaming i took willow.  Walter kept rambling avoiding saying anything.  i kept him on track.  he walked me to my car i gave him red robin gift card for Christmas.  1:30 home i ate lunch and eventually stretched enough for my hip to settle.  

the planner i picked up is another moon calendar.  i wrote out dental bill so i'm in good shape for next year.   

so much tension

it started at birth.  my folks fighting.  family secrets.  always on alert.

i forcefully, consciously relax my body and exhale.  my stomach upset.

1:25 music starts.  

lunch is so pleasant in the car with my music.  toke stopped to say hi.  i remembered her house number hurrah!  she wanted to take her card.  i made out my cards , stamped them and forgot to go by the post office.  i love gaming.  

dollar is now dollar .25

i went and stocked up local store.  did my routine and ladies auxiliary lunch of best stuffing i ever ate, roasted red potatoes, turkey slices, cranberry, roll, pumpkin pie bar.  the table helen complained of stuffing.  go figure.  toke got great parking despite the crowd.  hurrah!!

i noticed next year otc walmart book different back brace i want old one.  i called eduardo got cut off so online i think i ordered 2 braces, 4 h2o2.  we'll find out if it arrives Thor day.  i used #item not description it came right up, magically appeared.  i put it on discover.

don't know what

chrome froze i shut it down and i'll deal tomorrow.  i recovered my blog.  hanging out at sunny vale library before it rains.  i got to gym 2 just as it stopped.  i'm feeling so lethargic.  must be the hamburger.  i'm eating half lb a day since fry day.  i am sleeping soundly.  sat day i stayed in bed 'til 10 and rested all day.    

came home 4 pm.  i couldn't tell if i felt tired.  i used their computer and listened to healing 3 hours.  i put out garbage and recycle.  thank goodness still light enough dad's wiring needs hour half to dry out.  he scared me standing on their cheap sagging dining table changing florescent  bulbs.  he kept insisting it was the fixture when it was obvious to me it was the wiring.  

pray for caregivers-dw

while i was setting up to eat in car Walter came so i opened trunk so he could sit on camp chair.  inside senior center i paid city online charged chrome.  he enjoyed sitting in fireplace room.  we talked 'til 2 when i came home to cook onion carrot potato to add to soup.  watched musicals.  restful.

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so yesterday i picked up lunch early.  went to st just pantry no line.  whole frozen chicken i didn't want to cook.  and fruit, canned.  i still have last month's frozen drumsticks.  came home ate lunch felt ok called Raymond took braces and extra groceries i sorted in trunk.  he stared ranting about Kaiser so i left went to Walmart for gum, clearance and pecan pie.  brought in what i wanted squash, baked beans etc.  cooked ate cauliflower.  

i considered coming 10 but let my body lead.  so here i am.  i remembered prop tax and looked for senior exemption school county i already get.  fee is applied by each so i paid half.   doing due diligence.  i offered toke the pie she only wanted the kiwi.  more pie for me.  

i computed 'til 2:30 stretched 'til 2:50 changed taking my leisure.  arrived early office has wifi- HappyTeeth.  jen cleaned and polished. $35.