NOT VERY RIGHT NOW.

I'M NOT FEELING VERY ADULT WITH THE STRESS OF THE WEATHER.  IT'S VERY HUMID.

knowing

DOESN'T MAKE IT EASIER.  I STILL HAVE TO SIT WITH THE FEELINGS AND WAIT FOR THEM TO RUN THEIR COURSE.

GOT IT!!

I RETURNED SCOTT-CAL SKYLIGHT- CALL FROM 2:20PM YESTERDAY. 

SITTING THINKING, TALKING TO VERA I REALIZE THE NEVER ENDING REPAIR = DAD WITH A NEW CRISIS EVERY YEAR. 

OF COURSE I'M FEELING DEPRESSED, HOPELESS, HELPLESS, INCAPABLE.  HE DIED AFTER TORTURING MOM AND ME. 

I HAVE REASONS FOR FEELING DEPRESSED.  GOOD VALID REASONS. 

space saver

SATURNDAY- THE FREEDOM TO WRITE WHEN I WANT, WHAT I WANT. 

I REMEMBERED LAST MINUTE TO SAVE THE DAY SPACE.

DRAINED

OF ALL RESISTANCE.  realized the weather and my anxiety are about the 20 yrs of horror with the parents and the 10 with the sister/thieves. 

PERKS

PERQUISITES-I WENT TO ST J AND FEEL BETTER.

I WAS FEELING SO ANXIOUS.  I DON'T KNOW WHETHER FROM THE WEATHER EMINENT ECLIPSE OR ASPERGERS.  TODAY IS OVERCAST.  WONDER WHERE THE SECURITY GUARD IS?  WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT THE WEATHER LAST VISIT AND HOW SHE PREFERS CLOUDY DAYS.  I HAVEN'T SEEN HER TODAY.  

AUGH!! DISTRACTED.  THAT'S DEFINITELY AUTISM. 

I FOUND 2 BOTTLES, 4 MARYS, PLASTIC STAND, PURSE MIRROR AND FEEL RICH. 

TU-8-1

A NEW MONTH AND A RENEWED ME. 

IT'S 90o AND I'M OK.  I DON'T EVEN NEED MY COWBOY AIR CONDITIONING.  I'M IN AWE. 

I DROVE TO SAVERS, SHOPPED FOR 2 HRS AND I'M STILL VERTICAL.  I'M SO GRATEFUL, TYGJ.

I'M GETTING MY APPETITE BACK.  AND I'VE DECIDED TO STOP SMOKING. 

IT'S PART OF MY PAST.  NOT HAVING HAD A CHOICE IN UTERO I LOOK FORWARD TO BEING FREE.