HAPPIEST NEW YEAR'S YET-Despite Dragonlady

DID NOTHING AND YET EVERYTHING I WANTED.  ARTHUR INVITED ME TO HIS JAPANESE AUNTIE'S HOUSE AND I DECLINED.  HE DIDN'T SAY IT WAS AMERICAN FOOD.  ZONI AT NIGHT.  AND LEFTOVERS FROM CHRISTMAS. 


TOMAS CALLED TWO DAYS B4 TO SAY NEW YEAR'S EVE POW WOW CANCELLED.  HE WAS DISAPPOINTED, I FORGOT. 


SO I SAW AIL ON SATURDAY 1-2 AFTER EXERCISING.  I WENT TO CHASE BANK TO PAY BILLS AND SHE PULLED INTO THE RIGHT SIDE PARKING SPACE.  I DIDN'T NOTICE HER BEIGE TOYOTA SUV UNTIL SHE SAID HAPPY NEW YEAR SUSAN.  SHE ACTUALLY CALLED ME SUSAN, NOT SUE OR STU(PID). 


MAYBE THERE'S HOPE FOR THE WORLD.  NONE FOR HER.


LUCY IS STILL HER OBNOXIOUS SELF.  ACCENT ON NOXIOUS. 


HELENE AND ARTHUR AND PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE DOESN'T LIKE OR TRUST HER. 


I'VE DONE MY DUTY.  I CAN PLAY NOW.

MAINTENANCE-HOUSE-NUVOH2O

I HAVE HOPE.  I SAW A NEW WATER SOFTENER THAT LOOKS SIMPLE AND EASY. 

THE PROBLEM IS DECIDING THE SIZE.  AND THE DISCREPANCIES IN INFORMATION.

AND THE ABILITY TO INSTALL IT. 

ANDREW VOLUNTEERED HIS HANDYMAN ABILITIES.  WHEN I DECIDE ON THE MODEL I'LL ASK.

CRITICAL PATH MANAGMENT:

WATER SOFTENTER
PLUMBING
YARD

RAISING THIEVES AND PSYCHOS

MOM TRAINED MIT AND AIL TO BE WHO THEY ARE FROM MOM'S INSECURITIES.  SHE ABUSED AIL TO BE THE JUNK YARD GUARD DOG IRONICALLY BORN IN THE ASIAN ASTROLOGY YEAR OF THE DOG 1946.  MOM RAISED BOTH OF THEM TO STEAL BY ALLOWING THEM MY THINGS WITHOUT RECIPROCATING.

MOM REWARDED AIL'S SICKNESS BY ABUSING HER AND ALLOWING HER TO BE ABUSED BY THE REST OF THE WORLD.

THE ABUSE STOPPED WITH ME.

SO THEY BOTH STOLE FROM ME AND MOM.  AND THE REST OF THE WORLD.

AND THEY BOTH PASSIVELY ABUSED MOM BY LAUGHING AT HER BEHIND HER BACK.  THE MORE SHE NEEDED THEM THE MORE THEY NEGLECTED AND IGNORED HER.  NOW I UNDERSTAND.

MIT INSISTED SHE WAS NEVER ABUSED.  DENIAL.  YOU DON'T BECOME AN ABUSER WITHOUT BEING ABUSED.

CAN YOU SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE, MOM??  ARE YOU PROUD OF YOURSELF??

YOU ARE A COWARD AND A BULLY.

ALL MY PROBLEMS....UPDATE 1-28

HAVE BEEN DUE TO MY FAULTY PERCEPTION OF THE BEHAVIORS OF WOMEN.

BECAUSE OF THE SICK RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN MYSELF, WICKED MOM AND WICKED SISTERS I'VE DEVELOPED A SLANTED PERSPECTIVE OF HOW WOMEN FUNCTION AS DYSFUNCTION.

HELEN AT THE FIRST LUNCH TABLE IS THE ONLY FEMALE EVER TO STAND UP FOR ME; TELLING LUCY(FAUX AILEEN) TO LEAVE ME ALONE.

AND CRAZY LUCY RESPECTS HELEN.  CRAZY SAT NEXT TO ME TODAY AND LEFT ME IN PEACE.

IT HAS TAKEN ME THIS LONG TO ASK WHAT IS THE LESSON.

CONFIRMATION I'M ON THE RIGHT TRACK;

I'VE BEEN PRINTING OUT LYRICS AND FOUND THE LYRICS TO HIS SHEEP AM I. FINALLY AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF SEARCHING SONG BOOKS.  I FINALLY LOOKED ON A HYMN LYRICS WEBSITE.


DAD DID ME A FAVOR BY BEING ABSENT.  I HAD TO DEVELOP A FRAMEWORK FROM NOTHING TO DEAL WITH MEN.

DAD WAS AN ALCOHOLIC AND DRUGGY.

DICK TATORS-DICK FOLLOWERS

PEOPLE GIVE THEIR POWER TO DICTATORS FROM FEAR, LAZINESS, GREED OR ALL THE OTHER NEGS.

THEY HAVE SOMEONE TO BLAME.  THEY HAVE A FALSE GOD TO PRAY TO, A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY.

THEY CHOOSE TO BE A SMALL FISH IN A BIG SEA.  A PART OF SOMETHING.  SO DESPERATE TO BELONG.

STILL FEELING SAD BUT I'M FEELING

THIS AM'S DREAM-BOUNTY HUNTER REMINDING ME TO READ MY TRUCK(CHECK INVENTORY FOR EVERYTHING I MIGHT NEED).  HIS TRUCK WAS GINORMOUS.  AND FULL OF EVERYTHING I COULD POSSIBLY NEED.  I GUESS HE'S GOT MY BACK.  I CLIMBED UP TO THE CAB KNOWING HE'D TAKE CARE OF ME.  

THIS AM'S SONG"OOH, CHILD THINGS'LL ONLY GET EASIER, OOH, CHILD THINGS'LL GET BRIGHTER. " 

I COULDN'T REMEMBER THE WORDS IN MY SLEEP BUT I KNEW THE MUZAK WOULD PLAY AT THE SENIOR CTR AND IT DID.  

SYMPTOMS

FEELING SAD NOT ANXIOUS, SO THIS MUST BE SOMETHING NEW.  THIS MONTH HAS BEEN AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER.

THIS WEEK STARTED THE NEW SEASON ON TV AND I'M HAVING TO RESET MY THINKING.

I DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING TODAY.

HAPPINESS TAKES WORK.