are interesting as a representation of general interest. I like to know the trend. watching 'mission impossible' I understand kids riding atop trains dying and being crippled. they think they're Tom Cruise. no consequences watching a movie.
doing what I want when I want is still new and scary. a lifetime of training being rewritten. the abuse taught me caution.
what a terrifying morning. car was wet underneath hopefully condensation and left front brake making a funny noise when all the way down. light is OK so it may be dirt on the disc. I'm hoping. I'll keep phone charged 73% since yesterday if I need AAA. CARLOS CLOSED WEEKEND.
I woke 8 am after a restless night ate leftovers 5. 8:30 I showered and soaked half hour. I forgot Gloria told me no St Just and drove back to Sprouts. nothing looked good I bought a meat stick $2.50, prepped watermelon and mixed berries $3+3. on the way back to library I stopped at an estate sale $20 for spider + web pin I passed on and bought $5 spoons and sewing kit. 2346 Kay Dr. A beautiful house.
if I hadn't forgotten St Just closed I would have missed the sale.
I finally looked at mail. car insurance OK. I started new Lego puzzle. FUN FUN, SILLY WILLY. I make it look so good everyone wants to play. Jane chased me down from under parking to complain of visa difficulty.
I found quiet empty copy room.
puzzling helps my back. the subject doesn't matter. the colors and lines must be interesting.
every day is a new opportunity.
wow phone down to 4%.
I'm loving the Sprouts pineapple pork stick. the plain uncured not so much. my morning protein.
'quilt cupboard' took 1 week. since seniors is closed next week I picked 300 fun puzzle for today and tomorrow. 65 edge PCs. "bon appetite" Susan donated it and served at the BBQ. Fred gave me Debi's ticket. she declined. lunch was tough chicken and mediocre pasta. Fred said Melvin got sick after yesterday's frozen green beans onion veg. I stopped eating it too much raw onion. and frozen blue lake beans.
oh, what to do. 4 pm I puzzled 2 hours until annoying "HA!" man showed up. he has to tap the piece and proclaim like it will escape otherwise. I organize the pieces so it's totally easy.
"with all thy getting, get thee..." my tum is upset must be more fires.
I decided on tub jet massage and Sunnyvale lunch pick up and library. I love people watching. 10 am plenty of people to see. most people seem to enjoy the social aspect. it's very noisy and I don't feel judged here like at Santa Clara. Emma told me Russell is the 7 dwarf man. she gave him the cantaloupe and milk. and I can put my feet up.
I'm feeling like a pre verbal baby.
I'm taking tomorrow for me. no plan.
I googled Bates Vision Improvement. I can print eye charts.
waking up with my sinuses blocked. made ramen added can tuna for b'fast. the sweets I ate didn't help. worth it.
lovely cool 63 degree overcast weather.
9:50 am sitting waiting outside Cup library to return and pick up in space #1. I'm wearing my mint green ruffle tank and white cotton tiered maxi skirt I found in storage. and I found pink green gym bag.
I let Spirit lead me to Target wiper blades too big. I paid card. on to Gym 2 and Safeway. I bought cornbread no kernels I'm disappointed and cupcakes and chips.
I woke and made ramen with carnitas (tastes so good, bad for sugar), and just enough for a mini burrito I dressed and ate with TV news. I parked seniors #3 spot. I puzzled 'til 9:30 entering my sweeps then showered and stretched deciding no pool.
I picked up St Just lunch and weekend bag. Gloria avoiding me reminds me of Tom hiding and peeking at me.
I puzzled the 'fairyland' for an hour in blissful peace. when another puzzler came I'm taking a break.
I woke 6:30 and got dressed, put my supplements in a container and seniors 7:23 am I got #4 parking spot.
Lee is having a hissy fit. I got here and staked my spot two hours ago. 3 pm he's harassing the upstairs librarians. better them than me. it's a show he's put on at senior lunch a couple times. I wonder if he's still in Hilde's good graces. as the female librarian was passing I mentioned to her he's picked fights with different people a couple times at senior lunch and maybe it's a blood sugar thing like my diabetic parents. she said he complained I was sitting in his spot and some of his things are missing and wanted to call the police. oh, well like dad said I caused his cancer when I moved home to take care of them. and dad's 9/5 coming up. august was the sisters' month of hell. crazy is as crazy does.
HEAVEN. they called the police to interview him. so he's on record. he's my dad. he brought the officer over saying I was in his spot. swear to God dad died 9/5 26 years ago.
always at night resting I didn't recall the bill. so I started at 6 am general housekeeping, fetching water, rinsing off the car and found it next to my TV chair was due the 18th. Augh!! Discover due!
I don't know how to do any of the icons that show up on my desk. I have a link to the Sunny menus. how I got it I don't know it just added itself.
computer room is deliciously cold. I finished the 'Winnie the Pooh' puzzle.
no Cody today. I plan on library. I'm resting, relaxing every muscle.
Inge had coconut crispy rollers. I ate half a dozen. little sticks. Costco and Walmart.
lunch was bad, company was good. I prefer ramen.
sitting at the library Lee in my spot I finally figured he's jealous. he made a big show of treating Toke for awhile. like a mad cat. makes me laugh. I'm sitting in the kid's section. when I sat down 10 minutes ago I was the only one and now it's full. and 2 restrooms are right here. I thought there was better I was missing.
I read the tofu book for ideas.
I'm hoping to be better than before. after dad died I was on mom suicide watch. and after she died sisters trying to evict me and estate tax shenanigans consumed my energy.
3 pm heavenly resting in the cool library. Toke encouraged me to stay cool. new Disney stamps puzzle. two frantic alien girls were harshing my mellow so I walked the library. they're gone and I'm resting and puzzling. burning calories.
so many unsupervised emotional orphans left on their own by selfish immature parent/children while the parents play at the library.
dinner last night. better still sore. I finished puzzle so satisfying. it calms me or maybe gives my soul a chance to catch up. "Mutant Message Down Under".
soaked away my aches and pains. sat with Bonny Judy and remembered chamomile. there were 3 Beatle CDs at the library I hope she bought. I pondered Rubber Soul, Revolver and compilation. $2 ea I already have so many I don't listen to.
I came back to the library, gone today so they weren't mine. Lee sitting in my spot sleeping. such a weird little man. did he expect me to pay him for the food I never asked for? puzzle orphans here being neglected and ignored while she and annoying east Indian man frantically add pieces. makes me glad I didn't have kids to neglect and abuse.
I filled water bottles, donated Dean Edell glasses, reworked garment bag to re purpose strap and mend mesh.
nice Indian man helped me relocate since Lee was in my spot. I hung out 'til 6.
for muscle cramping to subside. torture. I wasn't hungry didn't eat anything. huge mistake.
I ate a little weird lunch. pork loin sour cream, roasted tomatoes and green beans. stomach muscles are still sore.
rested central library. 20 minutes to tidy Mythical world puzzle. I put together half before the know it all's showed up. begging for attention. at some point I want to ask if they try to drive people away. pointless attention grabbing behavior when adding one piece.
left 4:30 found $1.40 in copy machine. laundry money. finished lunch at home.
nice not being obsessive.
dad's last month alive was torture for mom dad and me. my sisters manipulated and constantly harassed us. my body has the freedom to process the physical, emotional record of pain. post traumatic stress. the body stores the energy for survival, self protection.
9:30 my back is screaming like my sisters. 10 am the "Millers". a dysfunctional family without the physical/emotional abuse. I need to laugh. I was watching "the Thief of Baghdad" and the second disc is all about Hitler, WW 2 and the British mobilization. and I turn on the TV to take a break and "last Man Standing" has a WW 2 reference.
massage is part of my heaven. simple easy way to enhance circulation.
OK still closed. open Friday when pools closed. closed today though running. so I puzzled. someone sideswiped me senior when parked. like when I lost hubcap.
I saw Gloria at St Just. Sandy gave me weekend bag and 3 avocados. lady gave me broccoli top.
Sunnyvale hot spot ready. oh, and summer reading book coupon.
I feel so comfortable parked underground central. copy printer I found a dime=uncle saying hi. the twin girls were here with their dad puzzling power puff girls fixed his hair with bow clips. their mom showed up later very frazzled. they all needed to eat and calm down. smarty pants asian librarian asked if I was putting together the border of mythical world map. I forgot my glasses and managed. I amazed myself.
I might feel tired and sleepy from eye strain.
planning what comes next. failing to plan is planning to fail. I think I made that up. it came to me. thank you Walter for reminding me of my past but one step removed. I can see it I don't have to be it.
I think Google wants to connect "link" me to other blogs. nah.
I'm enjoying the m c escher "reptiles" puzzle. appeals to simple drafting style and looks like baby dragons.
I added left over ravioli sauce 2 T. to garlic parmesan sourdough bread toaster oven it's better than new. and ground oregano for umami.
I watched game show, became bored. washed 1 load $4.25. very humid.
very good. I came home watched my show and took my time hanging the wash.
for b'fast and pumpkin for dessert. just what I wanted. I cold brewed hazelnut coffee added vanilla protein shake to taste. 30 mg protein filled me up. lunch OK. Fred, Toke early. Walter sat next to Diana again. she called him her friend. he hung back so I had to open the exit door for him. huh.
I considered recycle and laundry. no rush always tomorrow.
being ready early I remembered time to feed car. and so easy. 6:45 no traffic. probably helps 95050 opens 5 am. gave Inge 2 magazines while she waits with Sue.
lunch egg omelet OK. I was aware and I got only egg. I sat with Bonny and Judy, Fred, Walter and finally Toke. I mentioned powdered eggs and Diana wouldn't eat it. she sat at our table to avoid Gil who sat next to her at Inge's table. I stayed alert and got the only extra egg.
I picked up from the library. I've never seen it in totality.
and "A week With Marilyn". she worked so hard to become who she was. no one ever appreciated she was self made.
gym shower 10:30 choice of 2 shady parking spots. I drove the back way to $ tree 5 bought fish oil and 1 zinc, basil pesto. then I drove around the block to Gym 2 Safeway bought 5 soups for 2. dropped off book and movies at library went to Sprouts pumpkin pie and tag remover. Nob Hill salad mix, frozen orange chicken and lo mein. cooked it when I got home for lunch and dinner.
very hot and sweaty. stopped $ tree Toke gossip closing next year. such a mess so much resentment I can understand it's too much. no fish oil, I bought overpriced chips, black elastic hair bands, 1 mouthwash.
St just lunch balances out. Charity and Sandy. sweet muffin making me sleepy. library Hindu puzzler so annoying an exercise in whatever. no rhyme or reason. bookstore I bought "Second Hand Lions", Queen Latifah as Taxi driver, Sgt Pepper CD. Happy FUN FUN SILLY WILLY!! my new holiday.
I started M C Escher puzzle. I suppose I could pencil draw. my eggs in hat I did Ohlone college drawing class came out good and I did bring home the orphan frame from seniors. I'll let it simmer.
"Common Knowledge" TV show 10-12 almonds=1 aspirin.
5 water bottles. I drove half a mile and I forgot my brace went back home. that's how my day started. I finished the Van Gogh puzzle.
Walter got me an extra food plate Hilde denied me a plate giving me veg instead. Walter was upset she be crazy. I told him she's like that. sometimes she seeks me out sometimes she denies me. she be crazy.
I just realized mom said TV dinners were too expensive when she went to lunch every day when working in Mountain View Fairchild and dinner with co-workers every Friday raving about Mexican food so dad hated it before trying it. explains why jealous dad hated it.
Master Mind question Patterson ranch site of first Renaissance Faire. it was hot dirty parking in plowed fields. I was taking college Shakespeare.
I'm having terrible two's. I don't want to do anything. when we learn to say no unless it's beaten out. I'm playing my puzzle.
lunch OK Fred and Walter early, Toke. I filled my shampoo bottles and went to Target Chase. Arlene explained ATM may have run out of specific bills for withdrawal. used my card easy peasy. made deposit Merriwest and walked Sprouts found clearance 3 $4 black sesame seeds and 5 $1.30 CBD soda.
remembered I needed fish oil I detoured to $tree none I bought 2 reading glasses and 2 chick fries dinners.
home I put everything away. I did too much, my back hurt so bad it made my stomach hurt too.
David helped me with phoning customer service I didn't have my phone or glasses. Vidan on phone checked my account couldn't help suggested not enough cash in ATM. I have to go to teller branch with ID. tomorrow. I'm tired of jumping through hoops.
I checked Cal PERS site may be time to change DD. CU 3 branches now. when I opened account only Sunny.
Yippee! I don't have to do laundry. there's always tomorrow.
ooooo, I have pumpkin pie. chicken mole lunch not very good.
I've made a hundred small changes in my life. my TV reception went out so I turned it off to reboot. it worked.
I was too busy working to pay my bills and on suicide watch with mom after dad died and the sisters were pulling their manipulations. I was on overload. I'm letting go of their hate for me. so much discomfort and pain it's a miracle my sanity is intact. or is it. maybe why people seem so stupid.
lunch was OK. I started a new Van Gogh puzzle. takes me away from my misery.
the gummy helps a lot.
my day started parked in shade Citibank wouldn't take $40 on 38. too much message I had to get $38. shade Cup Safeway 3 chips and free dip, orange cream cokes. 9:48 library 20 minute zone in shade picked up 9 movies. pondered what I wanted to do I drove to Sunny gym 2 feeling hot and sweaty. parked in shade Safeway 2/$1 chips, orange Hostess cupcakes 2/$1.25, clearance sourdough round loaf garlic Parmesan. put everything in car and showered pool full of so cute little ones swim school. across ECR I parked in the shade shade and walked Sprouts clearance pumpkin pie $4.69.
my body is processing the anxiety stored from the constant harassment of my sisters. they manipulated our parents' deaths and I was unable to protect them from themselves. dad's 9/5 death the summer of torture. they believed my sisters' machinations. they chose to believe lies over the truth. It still pains and upsets me. my post nasal drip causing my upset stomach. my anxiety seeking a reason focusing on bills and details. I'm feeling a lot of emotional pain. I used to feel like crying now I know why.
listening to healing music helps, reminds me to breathe.
I've experienced Hell I know Heaven is real.
9 am $tree I bought 5 brown rice+quinoa. on to Safeway since too early for banking 2 clearance relaxing gummy clerk adjusted BOGO paid for 1 message on receipt. (so lost $13 on Lucky's frozen rewards account.) $20 dollar change blew under car. lot had emptied I re parked the car and retrieved the bill. WEIRD.
10 am waited for St Just relaxing. Charity working inside Sandy processing. lunch and weekend bag.
this morning I decided I'm working for God full time. so at 6:36 am I drove to Mission PO and dropped off my insurance. the drive through is out of commission still. I drove past the defunct laundry and scoped out the area.
I finished the Disney puzzle 8:15 am. I read the 2 anatomy books, printed phone pages. shared them with Fred. I got ideas for stretches.
