Friday, July 25, 2014

90* day HOT-HOT-HOT

Yesterday and today staying in the cool at seniors.  I'm amazed when I consider how sick I was and how badly I felt.  How limited I was.

My life has improved.  And I'm learning how to keep my energy by not feeling responsible for others.

Gil keeps asking me to dinner and movie but when I say ok he hems and haws.  He spends all this attention on his face and how he appears, none on the rest of him.

I'm learning.
Typical alcoholic commitmentphobic behavior to act like needy puppy.  Too close too soon and then fear filled and avoidance.  Pushing, intruding, forcing the other person to delineate boundaries to make them feel guilty to manipulate them.  All an act.  None of it reality. 

Acting GOOFY and on drugs and denying. 

Need for attention and then pulling away, broken promises.  Blaming his behavior on the other person.  His calling 5 times in one day to say hi.  Like Arlene.  Ridiculous.  Riddick-ulous.

Forcing other people to react to them making them feel in control. 

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