paid water

I bought my blueberry almonds limit 4.  I never noticed before.  

I'm slowly filling tabs.  

 

I'm still struggling

on checking my Emails I forgot to pay Discover new due date 23.  12:37 pm paid.  

I came to library to enjoy the cool from projected 88 degrees.  I drove back way through Kaiser and huge dark SUV changed lane sped up to HHONNKK at me and I didn't care.  I had planned on chips pick up at Safeway but diverted to St Just for lunch pick up.  I was early enough for a weekend bag from Sandy and Chris.  

library online I had free soda at Safeway.  I went for pick up and I needed my phone to pay Discover.  and this morning I'm preparing for thank you to my Christmas cousins.  

I feel I've turned a corner.  

I sat for an hour before I remembered I brought my purple pillow.  

3:50 program crashed I successfully recovered Email and blog before having to leave closing.  

memories/flashbacks/PTSD

1976 I became agoraphobic afraid I'd kill myself and take out an innocent.  I didn't know about my suicide heritage I was just reacting to my abusive neglectful marriage.  

last two nights lucid dreams of castle/mansion with waterbeds and vaulted ceilings.  and a silent kitchen remodel while I slept.  I'm being cared for I need not worry.

no Lawrence Lucky's eggs

none shipped no rain checks.  eh.  I bought cucumbers and tomatoes and clearance almond croissants.  

my back is so much better using the purple pillow.  lunch with Gloria, Fred, Toke, Walter.  it's nice Fred is giving Walter a remote control drone and solar panel.  

I was depressed the chrome sipped off my cart and was dragging on the pavement shaved a bit of the corner off.  I felt an idiot.  I continued on to Prune ridge Lucky's to check clearance and bought 2 dozen sale eggs and mini clearance lemon pie.  I feel better.  a winner.  and I redeemed tickets I have over $16.  

48/61 Sunny hot spots added 25

whew!  so I paused central 43/36.

I get to really play.  no rules.  my rules.  queen of my universe.  

7:09 am

thriving from surviving.  I woke to more paranoia about car insurance suit.  family fallout.  

I finished the geode puzzle.  all there.  soothing 2 hours with music.  

living

thriving or surviving.  I keep suggesting to Walter to journal.  the first step in releasing the past.  get the trauma out of the body the mind outside to separate, the first step to release.  he refuses to try declaring it won't help.  if you don't try it never works.   the only way to stay stuck.  his choice.  he wants to feel badly.