quiet NO LOVE

6 AM I WOKE KNOWING I DIDN'T HAVE ANY RESPONSIBILITIES LIKE A 5 YEAR OLD.  I CAN PLAY WITH ALL MY TOYS ALL DAY.

11;30 IT'S COOL AND OVERCAST AND SUBLIMELY COMFORTABLE.  I'M HAVING A LOVELY MORNING. 

I TOASTED BREAD, MEAT, CHEESE AND HAD A BOWL OF CHEERIOS.  BRUSHED MY TEETH, HAIR AND FEEL I'M WAITING FOR SOMETHING GOOD.  MADE A POT OF HAZELNUT COFFEE.  TOOK ME 20 MINUTES TO FIND THE FILTERS AGAIN.  I MUST HAVE A RESISTANCE TO FILTERS.  MY LATEST SNACK IS MIXING DIPPING CORN CHIPS AND KETTLE BBQ POTATO CHIPS.

I HAVE MY TV SHOWS WHEN I WANT TO BE SCARED OR LAUGH.  I CAN LIVE WITHOUT PEOPLE AS LONG AS I HAVE TV.  MOST PEOPLE HAVE FAMILIES TO HELP THEM THROUGH LIFE.  I WAS ALWAYS THE HELPER NEVER GETTING HELP FROM MY SISTERS SO I DON'T MISS THEM.  I CAN HELP WHO I WANT NOW.  AND THEY ALWAYS RIDICULED ME FOR HELPING OTHER PEOPLE. 

DOING WHAT I WANT WHEN I WANT FEELS SO WEIRD.  I'M MISSING NICOTINE.

THEY DIDN'T LOVE ME BECAUSE THEY DON'T LOVE.  THEY WERE ADDICTED.  CODEPENDENTS.