anxiety motivating me to move

I made spinach and egg and I'm getting my library books ready.  

Atomic Habits, James Clear accepting boredom is the most important to success.  

located my checks and cash-PGE due 8/17 oh oh

preparing next month.  listening to Louise I can relax and know I'm living my best.  I feel OK.  

avocado onion 2 egg omelet b'fast.  

I didn't know where I wanted to shower so I did housekeeping 'til 8 and got in my car drove to 24 last good wall space.  then I didn't know if I wanted to swim I took my suit.  Yes, I showered soaked stretched cooled down.  9 am I showered in the best stall again. 

on to St Justin 9:43 Ruben & co.  someone left a box of fresh veg and some delicious individually wrapped Taiwanese Chung Hsiang Foods Ind. Co. Ltd. sesame milk crackers.  maybe from 99 Ranch Wolfe, Cupertino.  the fresh ginger was sweating in plastic so I opened it to let it breathe.  man seeing what I had officiously said to give it to him to "inspect" I declined.  they were too good to look for themselves and expected me to hand it over.  old me would have.  

I wrote Life check, assembled Citibank 100, Bartolo 80.  

up and at em atom ant

made an onion omelet.  Walter's fear is contagious.  I'm loving the rain and fear is lurking.  he reminds me to be diligent.  

I puzzled 'til 9:30, showered then lunch.  Hilde came over apologizing losing Walter's lunch.  he just wanted to complain like my dad.  blaming everyone else like my ex husband.  Fred cancelled fish for lunch.  Walter showed up 11:40 launching into repeating yesterday.  I refused to listen.  he kept on until I kept interrupting, continuing to insist he let it go.  so he left early threatening to stop lunching.  I won't be threatened.  

I waited for cart 3 with today's left overs.  first 2 salad from 3 days.  I still left at 12:17 to pick up sale water for 5/$5 college Safeway Friday.  home by 1 pm.  

lovely to just be.  

Brilliant Happy Thursday to me!

first hour sorting fruit and washing car windows.  I feel so much better.  

Walter refuses to process vomiting his stress and anxiety over all.  I continually stop him.  he's not practicing for himself.  I have to run away or he'll never learn.  

I soaked, stretched early.  gave Cody treats and fruit.  lunch OK.  Nah Young lost Walter's lunch.  I suggested he get lettuce from Joanne for his chickens he'd rather complain.  he went on and on all week.  he refuses to process his PTSD.  he avoids and distracts maintaining the status quo.  I have to run away for him to learn to control his thoughts.  I can't do it only he can heal himself.  I sent him home.  

weird energy 20% chance thunder showers.

happy anniversary me

finished 480 puzzle 11 X 13.    

great sadness

I dreamed of feeling wanted.  all the shows I watch are about inclusion.  

Leta's inclusion is the love I lost at 4 yrs old when we left Hawaii.  

my family always left me out.  they made me the scapegoat.  I was blamed for everything they didn't like.  I wasn't liked.  

talked w/Walter about us.  he still doesn't get that we're the same.  he just doesn't listen.  he got me extra lunch.  he stayed to talk we ate at 3. 

I finally understand playing Louise is ALL I need to do.  I improve the world by playing Louise.  I raise the planet vibration.  Everything is alright.  

moving up in the world-wheel  

high humidity 77%

 cheers word day

indulging myself bonus puzzle.  

I played all day.  took fruit to Toki.  couldn't find my keys , back to seniors I found them fell next to driver seat.   scared myself.  

I puzzled 'til 6 decided I wanted to shop Raley's Nob Hill.  clearance soup, cor cakes, sale blueberry almonds 2/$7, Gorton's frozen fish 8/$5 Monday I cooked all using sandwich microwave crispers.  2:30 minutes crispy and crunchy.  

home 7:30.