two days in a row-gave Mallory best friend Oscar this Sunday-paid phone & city

as I leave this planet I now have fond memories.  Bob Hope hosted the Oscars 19 times "thanks for the memories".  "Big Broadcast 1938".  

the senior's suit spinner is leaking water.  still works.  

AAHH it came to me my itchy ribs.  I'm tickling myself.  yesterday I was tempted to fake throw an orange at Cody while shouting 'think fast!' and successfully refrained.  and it occurred to me that switching the table numbers at lunch would be an interesting prank and refrained.  mom was always pulling pranks meant to instill fear and anxiety.  not good ones.  

1:30 Mallory meeting

I am blessed by so much food.  2 extra lunches, Walter's tuna celery lettuce tomato, half of Fred's.  Cindy's 2 PB cookies.  tiny potato pollock hot meal.  I ate tuna and feel sleepy.  

Thomas, Vera, Inge, David, Martin and Sunshine came to Suicide website focus group.  an hour well spent.  snacks of fresh strawberries and PB crackers.  2 waters.  

new behavior after 3 am bathroom break I ate lasagna b'fast and slept 'til 8.  so rested.  I dressed and was in the pool by 9.  Cody bookmobile 10.

I decided to let Sunny expire today.  I already have a central copy and it isn't that good.  

central library David showed up at 5 I gave him wooden red bird puzzle Sammy there I asked about his niece.  lovely dinner of 2 fish, fresh strawberries.  

lasagna b'fast

I'm feeling happy.  my back is screaming and I'm OK with it.  I'm lying in a warm cozy.  

back to work.  lunch with Fred, Trudy, Kenny, Toki, Walter still upset that Gil approached him yesterday and everyone scattered.  practically evaporated.  he had to confront his creating his experience.  he was quite crabby.  

library I finished 2 puzzles and my walking Savers.  I have so much food.  Ruben gave me his goody bag and Walter his tuna.  I walked Gro O and bought coconut drink.  only one left.  home at 6 pm.  last night I drove the expressway, tonight I drove through town.  more peaceful.  

near sight not subject to size only distance

I find that interesting.  autism makes life interesting.  Inge offered note pads and pens I took 2.  

a sneezy day.  pollen moderate somewhere.  

I don't know what I'm feeling emotionally.  I'm feeling scattered.  an internal wind storm.  

I went to Savers after lunch and the library.  the new boxed air fryer senior discount $17.49, new red roller $4.20, facial cloths $1.40.  Grocery Outlet I bought lasagna $4.99 and salad $1.49.  so good.   

Pay Citibank by tomorrow-PAID

I'm using DST to advantage.  new behavior.  I usually just feel resentment to change.  typical autism reaction.  I'm relaxing into today.  I'm deep breathing into my feelings.  calming my stomach.  

Until I was 4 and we came from Hawaii to the mainland I was loved.  while arriving at night I saw the landing lights and thought I was in Fairyland.  the next morning was cold drab and loveless.  

DST+1

I changed my clocks.   I thought about laundry and decided to rest.  the smoked corned beef, potato, soda bread was so delicious.  I retrieved the butter from the car.  

ooh, bananas.  calming food.  3 in car.  

I'm feeling so much inner conflict turmoil.  this is what addicts cover up just prolonging the pain.  

1) I am willing to change my thinking.

2) changing my thoughts changes my chemistry.  

3) my chemistry forms my feelings.  

4) my feelings=emotions =energy in motion constructs my experience.  

TCMe-I paid Prop Tax listening to Louise

I'm resting for St Justin's  St Patrick dinner courtesy of Lita Cairel.  I don't know if I like it.  I feel inner resistance.  I don't know.  doesn't feel authentic.  not my resistance.  just stored in my gut.

I'm practicing attentiveness.  

I feel resentful of the years I spent attending to a family that never appreciated me.  this is all coming out of my tissues.  I can feel it in my gut.  

I've been truly blessed.  Lita shared her beautiful, caring and supportive family with me.  they included me in everything, made me feel so welcome.  my family in Hawaii is here.  the family my parents denied me by moving here.