seniors

I'm making the best of it.  nightmares of child abuse I'm trying to see through love.  

the angry child wants to get rid of everything.  throw them all away.  dad, mom, aiko.  mit came after.  throw it all away.  bad memories.  

I soaked and stretched over an hour.  I almost finished puzzle.  Jon came to ask me about some man in a blue cap.  I never noticed.  

lunch was bibimbap.  Fred and Toki took off early.  I told Walter I was moving to the front for leftovers and he decided to go.  after getting an extra lunch I went back to finish the pink and gold house.  

annoying ex came with his lunch saying I had made progress.  when I finished the puzzle he gave me permission to pick the next puzzle.  what a jerk.  I went downstairs didn't have my blue swag bag.  I looked in the cafeteria, went back upstairs he was sitting on my bag.  last week he moved my car keys from the chair arm but today the jerk sits on my bag.  

I went downstairs to charge my devices and listen to Louise.  

2:30 I was tired.  home by 3.  supposed to rain tomorrow.  

I'm learning to take time

75 years of habits not easy to rewrite.  my heart is lightening.  the family heritage is being written over.  slowest fast food Burger King Scott.  half an hour just to order.  cook and 1 front.  5 orders backed up ahead of me.  

jr BK and 2 med fries for dinner.  jr tomorrows b'fast.

end of month

I decided taking my time was perfection.  I drove to Leta's to drop off fruit and couldn't find it.  I gave it to Toki.  half of the trunk.  I called Leta after lunch, wrong house number.   she still has plenty of fruit.  

Elizabeth gave me coupons I'll give her fruit tomorrow.  

I puzzled 'til 6 then Mission library returned movie and college Safeway $6 /8 piece chicken thighs drums Monday.  half fried half roasted.  a dozen cake pieces on a cart with $2.50 tags left from Friday.  I wanted to return when charged $3.99 so because it was tagged $2.50 I got it free.  

anxiety motivating me to move-Dolly Parton

I made spinach and egg and I'm getting my library books ready.  

Atomic Habits, James Clear accepting boredom is the most important to success. 

I located All is Well Louise Hay   

Dolly Parton died 1 year 5 months after Carl Dean.  mom 1 year 8 months.  

located my checks and cash-PGE due 8/17 oh oh

preparing next month.  listening to Louise I can relax and know I'm living my best.  I feel OK.  

avocado onion 2 egg omelet b'fast.  

I didn't know where I wanted to shower so I did housekeeping 'til 8 and got in my car drove to 24 last good wall space.  then I didn't know if I wanted to swim I took my suit.  Yes, I showered soaked stretched cooled down.  9 am I showered in the best stall again. 

on to St Justin 9:43 Ruben & co.  someone left a box of fresh veg and some delicious individually wrapped Taiwanese Chung Hsiang Foods Ind. Co. Ltd. sesame milk crackers.  maybe from 99 Ranch Wolfe, Cupertino.  the fresh ginger was sweating in plastic so I opened it to let it breathe.  man seeing what I had officiously said to give it to him to "inspect" I declined.  they were too good to look for themselves and expected me to hand it over.  old me would have.  

I wrote Life check, assembled Citibank 100, Bartolo 80.  

up and at em atom ant

made an onion omelet.  Walter's fear is contagious.  I'm loving the rain and fear is lurking.  he reminds me to be diligent.  

I puzzled 'til 9:30, showered then lunch.  Hilde came over apologizing losing Walter's lunch.  he just wanted to complain like my dad.  blaming everyone else like my ex husband.  Fred cancelled fish for lunch.  Walter showed up 11:40 launching into repeating yesterday.  I refused to listen.  he kept on until I kept interrupting, continuing to insist he let it go.  so he left early threatening to stop lunching.  I won't be threatened.  

I waited for cart 3 with today's left overs.  first 2 salad from 3 days.  I still left at 12:17 to pick up sale water for 5/$5 college Safeway Friday.  home by 1 pm.  

lovely to just be.  

Brilliant Happy Thursday to me!

first hour sorting fruit and washing car windows.  I feel so much better.  

Walter refuses to process vomiting his stress and anxiety over all.  I continually stop him.  he's not practicing for himself.  I have to run away or he'll never learn.  

I soaked, stretched early.  gave Cody treats and fruit.  lunch OK.  Nah Young lost Walter's lunch.  I suggested he get lettuce from Joanne for his chickens he'd rather complain.  he went on and on all week.  he refuses to process his PTSD.  he avoids and distracts maintaining the status quo.  I have to run away for him to learn to control his thoughts.  I can't do it only he can heal himself.  I sent him home.  

weird energy 20% chance thunder showers.