overheated chrome and crashed and I got it back

I was getting nostalgic watching Disney.  eh, I let go of the past.  

I've been suffering when I have grapefruit.  I drank almost an entire 750 ml and my stomach is fine.  

YIPPEE!!

ow! my aching body! 4 vs. me again

this collision is all about releasing and forgiving my family.  the odds are the same.  four of them against me.  and this too shall pass.  

I have friends and a team now.  I'm not alone.  

I'm sipping cherry juice.  took an hour in the tub under jets to relax spasms.  my muscles feel sore and battered.  

I feel exhausted.  

mac 'n cheese

in the micro 6 minutes.  I'm watching mafia mamma.  Toni Collette is so funny.  

I'm creating my personal heaven.  

bob hearts abishola

no trace at the libraries.  first bi racial main couple on TV sit com.  

I added buffalo chicken to beans rice plus lunch corn still very very very spicy.  added water helped a little.  

it sprinkled.  

9:30 I decided not to think, just do, so I dressed and picked up lunch at St Justin.  Sunshine took Ruben's extras like a giant baby T-rex bird begging.  he did not look comfortable and she didn't care.  Bonnie pretended we were friends to cut in line apologizing but not going back.  

library I ate ham cheese, Cheetos, apple pouch.  I read 2 People mags, and am reading P G Wodehouse online.  and Marla Gibbs.  HEAVEN.

So blessed.

staying positive

not raised with it, generating takes priming the pump every day.  difficult and exhausting.  Louise helps.

if it wasn't for Fred, Toki and Walter I wouldn't bother with seniors.  the food is mediocre,  most people there are small minded.  workers have huge egos.  more for city employees than seniors.  

I love reading online.  

only 6 months to Xmas

I'm feeling the helplessness and hopelessness of 1998.  I couldn't understand the horror of Eric and me stuck caring for my own family.

I couldn't do anything but pray and feel fear for us.  I didn't have time to feel.  I had too much to do to survive moment to moment.  I had to work to pay my bills and drive dad back and forth to the doctors appointments and emergency.  I barely survived and those feelings are back.  PTSD.  

so I'm going through the motions again feeling I'm barely surviving.  my friends are my reward and I have a legal team.  

lunch was lovely w/Gloria, Fred, Toki, Walter.  Walter got me extra goulash w/egg noodles the best part.  I completed a 300 piece puzzle after lunch.  feeling panicked running away I biked.  I hung out 'til 3 and came home.

I love doing what I want after a lifetime of work, doing what I had to do.  I'm reading the original Gentlemen Prefer Blondes by Anita Loos 1925 on Gutenberg,org.  doing my favorite thing when I want, always.