I bought half off Panera salad from yesterday/one roll. not good. cookie too sweet, salad too sour. hot pickled? peppers. $4. I can't imagine people paid $8.
I swam half hour. I remembered no St Just Memorial holiday. Sprouts I used gift card $29.97 clearance bone broth and mini turkey sticks. I've been wanting bone broth. Norwegian 4/$3 packets 13 g protein.
and I'm playing. not as many vendors so I was done in an hour. I stayed another hour with Walter. he brought his car tool my engine is clean for smog check. I'm feeling great. the extra walking. we caught up w/Toki and walked another hour. I got everything I wanted.
2:30 home I ate Sunshine's cake and napped. rest and relaxation.
I'm feeling happy only slightly tinged w/anxiety fear of losing my peace.
salad with chicken lunch BBQ skin and coleslaw. so yummy.
played w/my new toys.
WAH!! feeling goofy. I wore my sparkling gold antler headband. after a lifetime of responsibilities it feels good to let go.
my body is falling apart and life is OK.
I'm still wondering why I've crossed paths w/Chris Burgos 5 times now. last week I rode down the elevator w/SCPD.
tub was broken I swam warm pool and didn't care. lunch Trudy brought cake brownies and Sunshine gave me left over choc and Boston cake. Score Sugar Rush. I almost forgot Krab salad and bought corn dogs.
Tomorrow, tomorrow.
I love playing with my toys. my sugar spoons, pickle forks, gold antlers such fun. More please.
my difficulty in healing is lying to myself. and the truth has released the constriction in my stomach. I can relax. I feel so much lighter.
I wonder if that's what overweight is? lies weighing us down?
I got gas checking prices due to go up with the holiday coming. $5.60/gal.
I got that something to do feeling and found store ads. always something I want.
I walked Savers and found 12 purple hankies $6, tiny silver 6 pickle forks and 5 sugar spoons $7, gold rhinestone reindeer head band $5. then salad and Krab w/potato pickle juice.
you can't outrun yourself. drugs and alcohol, any of the -holics only compound the interest.
since we're chemical factories, running only increases the chemical memory imprint adding another layer to erase and print over.
my right shoulder blade like a knife. stabbed in the back. I did Dr Hume arm exercises. she's back at work. I looked online. it might be my neck too. my shoulder hurts sharply I can't feel anything else. that's the way pain works. I can only notice what hurts the worst.
unlike before I'm enjoying myself. time is finally moving. I don't feel stuck. I decided no Sunny book sale. nothing I need.
wow 3 hours of walking, resting, moving and grooving. I need more stretching. white top to seersucker dress misplaced I wear S/L shirt I invented w/lace pockets.
seniors 7:45 green lights 7 minutes. bad Louie talking to Dave in tub. encouraged me to stay focused. so St Justin early. Ruben gave me his sandwiches. deli ham gristle. I'm reading Never Too Late Marla Gibbs bio. telling the story of our generation of women of color. other hate filled women our greatest obstacle. friendly fire. betrayal. obfuscation.
2 pm Sammy gave me 2 Bikaji date nut candy bites and mentioned David. Bam! Sammy went to Sunny book sale today.
I went to Village Green to pick up dinner. frozen dinner $7.39 too much so I went to Jack in the Box 2 for $5 coupon burgers. home Ared and pastry dessert. nothing on TV bed early.
Life is whatever we make it. if our family instructions and examples have been pain and suffering that's all we know 'til we see and learn to create something fitting us better more comfortably.
I'm getting here. I considered biking but I didn't pack shorts or shoes. 3 tees and wash cloths.
Paul, Lloyd's friend opened up and tested me with open liquor. trying to get kicked out. not with me. then he slept. safe place.
I forgot the health fair. I walked looking at everything. I got extra bags and a red rfid Julia Buxton wallet $16.57 online.. new wallet new money. even better. Jon said I couldn't win the raffle again so I didn't fill out the survey and enter. Toki entered.
Sunshine shared her violent family stories. she wants to move to Valley Village me too.
Ruben gave me his St Justin lunch. home I made salad w/tomato 1 slice bread and doritos. I napped. celebrity jeopardy tonight.
where all emotion is stored. the gut brain, seat of intuition. as prey I can approach others w/o threatening. I'm safe and peaceful. now I'm glad I helped Frank 3. he had a meltdown. God let's me argue.
Paul Lloyd's friend gave me my choice of 5 packaged pasty I chose bear claw. I returned hot spot to Cody.
no sister eviction distraction. almost overwhelming emotional pain. I had the tub all to myself TYGJ.
weird day. I had to shower alternate family until 9:30 they reopened showers.
lunch w/Frank 3. he didn't know about reservations I don't know how he managed. I got him the menu, explained but he acted like off the planet. Toki and Walter acting out of it. so I finished tough puzzle, takes me away from pain.
I'm feeling desperate for no reason at all. just feelings coming out. all the family torture labeled 'helping'.
always a delight.
I won the health fair raffle. yoga mat, hiking poles, trail mix, $30 Sprouts gift card, $25 AMC gift card, hiking trail book, beach towel, beach bag, coloring book, markers, adult swim goggles, affirmations cards.
seniors I remembered 2 days until mom's death day.
the body remembers.
I'm waiting to call Sean Koy CSAA. office opens 8 am. I have all day.
Eric Winberg got the message works for 2 attorneys Chris Rivera and Barbara Olsen. Barbara is mine.
Sean returned my call Eric is San Jose office.
only 83 degrees I'll soak and stretch 4 pm. left 5:30 for Cup library. picked up Louise CD and Eddie Murphy Coming to America 1 & 2.
Grocery outlet salad, watermelon juice, grilled cheese, mini pizza, imitation crab, rice crackers.
I feel a little hope. Louise.
Eric CSAA? called 12:38 yesterday while I was Fair-ing. I put everything in my car. He just said he was from CSAA no case number or details. I white pages reversed look up said the phone belonged to Mariana Fe Rivera 732 Kineo Ct, Oakley, Ca 94561. so I called and left a message with Sean Koy.
seeing double entries in my Consumer Cellular invoice I called 611. Mary was so helpful. and I now have access to my back up phone mails.
I voted. productive day.
new behavior I didn't return anything. I'm acting normal putting myself first.
Grocery Outlet bargain Market.
best fair ever.
I enjoyed Fred and I picked up Walter's lunch while at his meeting. I puzzled and Walter walked around picking up goodies. he came back 3 times. I guess he appreciated it.
he's enjoying engaging with the senior center. new behavior.
home 3:30. ate carnitas salad and tuna burrito. I fell asleep watching GRIMM and woke 7:30 thinking it was Saturday. SURPRISE!! I felt rested.
Oprah interview of Douglas Stuart. Spirit is powerful. you tube 'A New Douglas Stuart novel'.
Diana 2nd car event this month hit and run on freeway led me to charge my phone finding Toki message cancelled lunch dental event. I hope sinus.
I'm enjoying puzzle I'll pool after Cody bookmobile. wringer broken.
perfect only Walter at lunch 11:30. he left early I can puzzle.
2:30 I decided on Sunny pick up hot spot. I stopped at Chipotle for carnitas and Trader Joe sunflower and cheese puffs. next to each other.
Life is good and getting better.
going over my bills. I feel OK. the dread and anxiety come and go like the tides, the sine wave of life. the threat of lawsuit at least I'm not biologically related to her like my crazy sisters.
I'm enjoying my romantic glitter Josephine Wall puzzle of unicorn swans and beautiful lady against the universe. I'm not distracting myself from physical or emotional pain.
lunch with Trudy, Ken, Fred, Toki, Walter. I love when people I like like each other.
no whopper Wednesday in May. I used a coupon for 2 Jr + 2 fries. so delicious. dinner.
home 3 pm. watched Jeopardy Wheel then bed. a good day.
and Savers seniors. there's one across the street. Woo Hoo!! I bought 2 dresses and jersey headbands I can use for wrist wallet $15.
new food. Grocery Outlet microwave pepperoni grilled cheese sandwiches and beef stew. so good. 49 cent avocados. home for a feast.
I drove the back way and avoided the clean up trucks perfectly. home 3:30 pm.
Walter doing better processing grief his own way. got me chicken soup. I ate with rice.
listening to her drove away my dread. I actually awoke happy.
I'm borderline happy and sad feeling tired. I'm pampering myself. nothing on TV I'm enjoying the silly Librarians. every popular show is all about the relationships.. we love family replacements.
how did I miss Table 19? 2017 movie. uplifting. bad reviews. its imperfections keep it interesting.
my fascination with Grimm is my theory of embryo development and how some get stuck at lizard or wolf stages never being human only looking human. explains a lot of questionable behavior and why God allows it.
Gloria was at St J. I shared Walter's difficulties and specifically how to release grief. she gave me her donuts. I ate 2 PBJ & chips felt so sleepy. home 2 pm. I considered paying Bartolo feeling too tired. my days of forcing myself beyond my limits are over. new behavior.
I picked up 5 seasons of Grimm. I'll start with Librarians season 1.
May/June. I went back into home to get county returns. +.4 mile. I left the bag of returns by the front door.
I finished the cat zodiac 500 puzzle. I am a Capricorn. puzzle so cute. I love cute.
I can't get to PCH sweeps closed so I'm done there. I'm listening to Louise.
I learned if I click on the year all posts are visible. or it shows month by month. I kept searching to view today's post to edit.
I started Fancy Cats puzzle 750.
Walter in rare form trying to get thrown out of lunch. Fred and Toki helping calm him down.
I picked up 10 at Cup library had to turn in Louise CD. I'm set.
Sunny hot spot pick up 5/8 same day return city. I wanted Safeway $5, no pulled pork I bought chips and 2 corn dogs. DINNER.
