amazing

no blog access yesterday.  so i'm playing catch up again.  I questioned whether Brian dinner tonight.  family training raising its ugly head.  drove to lucky's free chips and sale $1.99 corn chips.  Sprouts looking for dessert 2 $2.60 ea turkey meatloaf dinners with roasted yam and beans.  I drove home new behavior.  I want a better life.

swam and noticed change in pools schedule.  closed sat 6/8 so I asked dino didn't know.  lunch ok with Toki and Mike.

bingo I played while reading more about whip lash.  my heart not in it.  then I drove to Sprouts looking for dessert. CBD gummies on sale through 25th 2 egg bites.  tried calling Brian no voice mail.  I drove to Safeway blueberry pudding ring cake.  tried calling Brian.  I decided to swing past just in case and he was home.  he doesn't answer same as me.  we're so alike.  I offered to go to library he wanted company.  son must be away.  we watched 5 pm Melissa Peterman. 

looking for 'I remember mama' online he found live darts tournament he didn't know was televised.  NEW!!  we watched back and forth with game shows.  pizza was best ever caramelized balsamic red onions, pine nuts, blue cheese, fresh dough, homemade thick sauce.  better than before.  done by 9 I went straight to bed.  I walked up and down stairs 3 times going to car.  I gave him coupons he needed smog from August.  he paid registration hadn't smogged yet.  so no tags.  and psychic fair next sat.

recycle-adult

I woke with a stomach ache and sore all over.  I could feel my feet like never before.  nausea like 1972 that I couldn't soothe.  considered cancelling senior lunch but staying home too boring.  dressed dealing with symptoms.  drove to Scott felt better detoured to Danny's recycle.  back brace realigned nerves.  

swam, Brian in tub invited me to dinner tomorrow evening for jeopardy and wheel.  lunch with Toki and Mike, Fred still on vacation.  home early to rest up.  I'm taking care of me.  Win!!

yes! getting it together

I'm taking my time.  seniors at 7 because I want to not because I can't walk.  back in 2008 I had to take preventive measures.  I couldn't handle walking or heat.  I got to seniors early and didn't swim.  my back hurt too much.  I hadn't tried wearing a back brace while driving.  it always strikes me as odd when people ask if it helps.  I don't wear one 'cause it's beautiful.  it's not a fashion statement.  I needed the air conditioning for my inflammation.  

i'm researching whiplash.  from every boo boo i've compounded nerve damage without properly taking the time to heal.  chronic pain.  2 hours of reading and printing.  I swam an hour and half, lunched with Mike, Toki very late and brought comics.  funny tiny desiccated Salisbury steak I got 1 of 2 left over.  lots of tomato basil soup 6 servings = 1 cup.  no mash or spinach or bread.  huh.

home 2:45.  I loaded my recycle this morning.  I can redeem it any time.  I'm watching my game shows and travel on AWE+.  

lovely day

oops, swam, only Toki lunch potato crusted fish, young Sheldon mission library, Inge reminded me to pick up her recycles.  10 minutes to redeem $7.92 at Danny's.  home 1:30.  i'm loving new me.  I have a lot of recycle.

i'm ok without a hot spot.  I'm not missing it as much as in the past.  could be the CBD or I'm calmer on my own.  

took my time rising 9 am

no internet I suppose I could go to cup county open at 10.  or church at 11.  or the gym.  or rest.

i'm watching 1975 'crazy mama' with Ann Sothern and Cloris Leachman, next is 'bad mama' 1974 Angie Dickinson, William Shatner.  makes my mom look good.  

relax-rest/returned hot spot sunny vale

daily word-can't pour from an empty cup.  I wasn't allowed to rest.

Walmart fish oil and D 3.  and I checked wi fi needs e mail.  stopped prune lucky's bought gator lyte, slivered almonds $7, sparkling ice.  took everything home.

I gym Ed, brought my lunch to sunny library.  returned spot and movies.  in request line again.   

1 pm parking lot sitting listening to healing in cool car on overcast day i ate my two Tina burritos.  I'm enjoying my cherries.  i've eaten 2 pounds since yesterday.  unheard of.  

new symptom left eye twitching. 

watching 'cactus flower' and 'hopscotch' Walter Matthau movies.  later 'charade' if early enough.  HEAVEN.

9 too early-no internet i'm ok

now lots of parking @ 24 fitness.  I organized for the day.  packed hot spot, tried to load lucky's coupons wouldn't work.  went to lucky's still couldn't add, asked for help, it isn't me it's the machine.  yay! me!

tiny lunch nondescript fish, baked sweet potato good.  no Toki, she didn't finish errands.  Me and Fred.  sat with Elizabeth picked all the skin off the potato and Albert.  people make me laugh.  I gave Jane Toki's low acid tomatoes.  she was thrilled she went to Sprouts yesterday and scored lots of 99 cent bargains.

went to prune lucky's clearance microwave pop tarts $2.13, 4 cob corn 10 cents, 2 lbs cherries $3.98, $1.63 almond mint snack bar.  

home watching 24.8 AWE+ luxury cruises and destinations.  my way to travel no fuss no fuss feet up relaxing.  

I considered returning to sunny I decided I wanted to watch my game shows.  I didn't want to drive late and tomorrow I can puzzle.  

lunch done-lost internet

too much excitement.  there was so much memorial holiday traffic on expressway I decided I needed gas at Costco and detoured to Santa Clara from 24 fitness.  after filling the tank I attempted to add air to the front  tires and screwed up deflating one the tire center manager rescued me.  i thought i knew how and didn't read the directions.  oh, well.

10:30 seniors bookmobile Cody had 2 movies for me.  young Sheldon is at mission.  i can wait.  home 1 pm classic concentration game show.

I forgot about the 'love boat'.  no internet and I don't care.  I have donuts.

maybe time for a nap.  time to check bills.

I love relaxing

9 am plenty of parking at 24 fitness.  I took my time.  so different from my old life.  it's scary feeling happy.  

a little paranoia is a good thing.  makes me careful.  driving is ok again.  

where life is beautiful all the time

so good.  I cooked bacon bits and scrambled eggs topped with cheese then I remembered brown rice.  perfect b'fast.  I'm watching hallmark romance movies where life is without wars, global warming etc.  good for the digestion.

11:11 senior lunch new show.  we're entering from the no entry door.  this place is so family.  cuckoo.  the tables are set up perpendicular.  because the pools are being cleaned way on the other side.  Jane gave me her lunch left overs she didn't want.

out of the blue Vera cursed me.  I lost my settings.  she insanely insisted on knowing why i'm no longer using hopper.  I told her I fixed my car.  I thought her husband was slow and she is too.  and they drive cars.  scary.

i'm loving the freedom of this week.  

i love the word queue

perfect day.  I watered my pet plants, went to 24 and forgot my towel.  i'm OK.  

I walked sprouts and pointed out clearance bin to the construction working man looking for lunch $1.99 sandwich.  I bought rainbow carrots 99 cents and my 2 CBD seltzer.  I saw Marlin and her hubbie shopping.

watching 'people puzzler' I hope the contestants are just nervous and not as clueless as they appear.  or the world is doomed.

chicken cutlet b'fast

put me back to sleep.  got up 9:30.  i'm puttering.  

big seafood salad lunch.  strawberries dessert.  cream cheese brioche.  

dinner mash potatoes, chicken cutlet, snow peas.  

and i'm tired.  bed 6:30.

no nicotine no tinnitus

I just noticed it's gone.  I read a AARP e mail and sure enough it's gone.  dad's chain smoking gave me tinnitus.  makes me wonder if he had it too.

oh, heaven.  I went to prune lucky's for free drink, BOGO strawberries, clearance spicy chick salad $2.  sprouts just in time 8 am for 99 cent 4 donuts, cream cheese brioche, snow peas, mushrooms, 4 chick cutlets $4, and my 2 CBD seltzers.  

seniors 9 am I swam hour and half, talked to Brian.  said hi to Trudy, Kenny, Toki, Melvin in the gym.  

I prepped the berries, slow cooked the mushrooms, tried the snow peas raw eh, cutlet tough I can tenderize it, 

cool and overcast but no rain forecast

the parking lot is 1/3 disabled for the health fair.   it's hard parking every year but they don't expect it.  lots of goodies.  Toki got her own.  she came early to park and walk health fair.  I saw Gloria.  she wants to try to come once a week but I know how hard it is physically and emotionally.  she's telling herself her dad will get better when it's a survival delusion.  I did it too.  too sad contemplating their death.  

lunch not enough table settings everyone late.  I sat with Toki.  I only saved her space.  meatloaf full of green bell pepper chunks.

I washed my pool shoes in the shower.  still weren't dry 1 pm so I wore flips to Sprouts dozen mini choc cupcakes $1.99 so good and 2 CBD seltzers.  

I was so excited free time next week I couldn't stay asleep.  I kept waking and finally got up 7.  I made egg cheese lettuce wrap b'fast.  

4:50 pm I started to freak.  the TV went off.  so I checked fuse box nothing checked lamps then it occurred to me entire house lost power.  yup.  i'm still feeling paranoid.  I must be very tired.  I have my laptop to amuse me.

I ate super salad.  lettuce mix plus faux crab plus one soft boiled egg I couldn't save.  I peeled 2 to pickle.  I've never eaten a pickled egg.

power back on i'm watching 'piranha anaconda' 2012 eating everybody in sight.  

Asian men are trained as are we all

the mission is to enhance the training and have more fun.  I guess i'm shocked when people are satisfied with what they know, who they are and what they have.  

we're raised in a dysfunctional world when the past has little ability to solve modern problems.  we need new solutions to new problems.  

I swam, puzzled, lunched with Toki, Fred, Mike, Jane.  extra carnitas 4 x serving.  morning I found nob hill coupons last day and lucky's 3 day specials 2 faux crab and Tina burritos.  I saved $9/$21 at nob hill.  I'm set for the rest of the month.  

I guess I should pity Asian men

 petulant baby started taking new puzzle out without putting completed 'starry night' away.  I nicely asked him to wait until I did it and he left in a huff.  he could have done it but didn't.  

lunch marvelous Toki, Fred, Mike, new widow 2021 Yoshie and son Robert.  nice sized quarter chicken.  i went out to car for variety puzzles started 300 taj mahal.  picked up mission library, nothing at college safeway, remembered jiffy cornbread at target and low salt chips on sale, sprouts 4 CBD seltzer, home.

I entered celebrity 10 k hurray!

i'm the most comfortable ever.  i'm enthusiastic.  I puzzled and then swam, Brian in pool lamenting next week closed.  Toki left me message last eve to call back.  she made me laugh.  she asked if I wanted 11 croissants.  she wanted one at lucky's so she bought a dozen.  I asked why she didn't just buy one and she said it was a special price.  I don't know.

I puzzled 'til lunch and extra broccoli beef 2x more than serving.  I went back upstairs and I finished Van Gogh 'starry night'.   I amazed myself. 

5:30 I expected Toki but it was power co announcing tree trimming line work.  surprise i'm ok.  must be the CBD.  hope they don't trash my plants.  mark power co keeps coming to door.  now, the ceramic line fixture needs replacing upgrade.  I keep waiting for Toki.  finding her phone call this morning filled me with familiar family dread.  

23 years mom's death day

3 pm people puzzler I arrived turned on the TV 2 minutes to spare.  so perfect.  

I swam, I puzzled 'starry night', I lunched.  Trudy brought mom day tart slices w/fork and Kenny, Toki/comics, Fred, Mike.  The weather 6 degrees cooler in sunny I went to pick up 6 movies.  driving I concentrated on parking and #1 spot leaving as I drove into the parking lot.  I left the extra pantry food.  I played on the puzzle table 'til 2:30.  

celebrity wheel I can't get in to enter answers.  I don't think it's me this time.  

slept thru 'til 4:30

I woke and brushed my teeth.  waited 'til 7:30 to walk to nob hill.  half hour walking store bought salad.  transplanted plumeria.  watching 'trip to bountiful' 1985 thinking about plans.  tomorrow 23 years since mom died i'm feeling anxious.  my stomach has been upset.  Tom is just like my mom.  no love no respect.

life feels like a cruel trick

could be the 'medium' marathon I've been watching in conjunction with Tom resurfacing.  like a bottom feeder.  I don't want or need it.  he's never cared about me.  he doesn't even know me.  all he wanted was a skinny jap girl and that's all i ever was to him.  something to use.  not human with feelings.  

I just understood the formatting resetting to normal when I want medium.  mom was always telling me to be normal.  as Popeye said 'i yam what I yam'.  

I went to cup library then D & T b'day party substitute mother's day party.  I stayed an hour and left with Jamie and Tom Grable.  Lily was incensed.  probably 'cause I missed Della's funeral.  I couldn't drive then and Tom refused to find me a ride.  just like Mitzi.  he's so family.  Letitia and Joe, Isidro, Dave, like going back in time no change.  my saying good bye to all.  done.  

home I was exhausted I went to bed.  

picked up free yogurt choc almonds at second lucky's

Lawrence had no idea.  I went to Prune ridge dedicated cooler with different flavors.  I bought $8 clearance white truffle infused oil originally $24, $5 cherry juice, passion fruit black tea $1.  I do love clearance.  I love trying new things.  I didn't like black truffle oil.  I don't have to like it.

sprouts 3 water infusers for $1 ea, hummus and veg 99 cents, 2 CBD.  

lunch tiny quarter to half cup paella more like risotto.  strawberry ice cream more like mousse.  stayed for bingo read people magazine from Trudy.  won 3 times in a row.  crystal and mirror tray.  decided no cookies too much sugar.  home 2:55 for people puzzler.

green salad with hummus and white truffle oil is delicious.  and I feel good.  

bills

taking care of business putting the distractions back in the box.  i paid city.  tomorrow citi.

walter came by with mini.  he's complaining of $300 hormone bird treatment.  I know he can afford anything he truly wants.  he's focused on not having money instead of how to have it.  I told him I know he's clever enough to get it.  then he complains about babying mini and I told him she's smarter than he.  she knows how to manipulate him.  he agreed.  I had to keep reminding him his chickens are smarter than a lot of people.

animals don't lie.  

I Toshiba cooked 5 soft eggs.  

dread

2 phone calls Peter and Tom.  Peter i'll ask Carlos tomorrow.  Tom typically dramatic boo hoo his b'day he suddenly invites me after 10 years or more.  he's creeping me out calling me his little sister.  a little incestuous considering how many times he came crawling back to me and how many women he's lied to and deceived.  he says Grable has metastasized thyroid cancer.  that's why he's called.  the Grables.  not me at all.  

ahhhh

peaceful swim.  I pretended the ear pollution in the tub was ambient noise.  

I bought turkey wrap $1.99 and beet relish $1.08 and 2 20 mg CBD seltzer $1.50 ea.  delicious.  i'm celebrating mother's day.  

yippee!!

i hit control instead of shift and ended up on the mail page.  

my knees are bruised and sore.  both have damage showing.  the red bell peppers at lunch made it worse.  we filled out an optional food preference survey.  I don't know how to make my knees better.  

I made brown rice b 4 I left this morning and I have the chicken and frozen buffalo pasta.    

I cooked baby carrots in honey, added to rice and chicken.  ate butter finger and cheese crackers for dessert.  

I'm missing smoking

 i'm breathing deeply.  

I poached the pound of chicken in the juice of 2 lemons.  20 minutes stirred and 25.  I can season what I want.  I made shredded lettuce amino ketchup dressing.  

happy Star wars day

being normal is so relaxing.  steady rain.  I swam, puzzled, drove long way to main avoiding accident intersection st valentines day.  i walked regular library routine.  checked st j twice nothing I wanted.  drove aimlessly.  dollar tree 2 cheese cracker taste test.  a chapter has ended.

home noon I heated TV dinner buffalo chicken and 2 toaster frozen waffles.  spicy.  maybe too spicy.  definitely rich and blue cheesy.

I'm feeling timeless.  I napped. 

I checked cap one e mail statement.  made myself upset until I figured out statement.  2 dates of act and posted.  

I'm feeling frustrated

disappearing blog.  not fun or funny.  I'm dedicated to having more fun. 

I picked up my free lucky's pasta and hot sauce.   i bought clearance prepped chicken and salad.  came home.  seniors 8:30 ample parking.  I showered and puzzled.  everyone late I called Walter checking tomorrow Star wars day dad's b'day.  lunch full table Toki, Jane, Fred, Mike, Salome.  I checked out the bingo prizes.  I decided to play.  

Walter showed up with chicken.  I wasn't having fun I decided i'd go to county library pick up.  I told Walter he doesn't have to change a thing if he's satisfied with how he feels and that nothing or no one can change his life but him.  his counselor gets as much from the sessions if not more, he gets paid.  I've been there, done that.  he keeps trying to drag me into his drama.  i'm not having it.  onward and upward.  

I took off.  then I went to Star One to deposit and $5 Friday Safeway potato salad.  clearance cornbread, 2 frozen chick dinner and frozen toaster waffles for blueberries.  dessert.  

dinner I ate green and potato salad and corn cornbread.  senior lunch is never feeling satisfied.  Hilda is man crazy mom denying me nourishment.  

maybe updating isn't enough

I hate repeating myself.  main reason i didn't want to teach.  I like sharing information.  people have to be responsible for learning.  

lovely lunch.  fish.  Diane and Toki.  

my knees are bothering me.  and my right elbow is sore.  it's linked to my neck.   

I dropped off apr/may $140 to bartolo he came cleared the weeds and herbs.  

i'm so tired I can hardly stay awake.

happy may day mom

she always shorted me on presents.  it never occurred to me to short her.  i'm not into revenge.  I live totally from my heart.  feels better.  I like feeling good.

swam, lunch ok great company.  Ed, Toki, Fred, Mike, Jane.  

puzzled despite know it all asian man.  laundry 2:30 smooth.  hung up clothes easily.  

ok I appreciate my car taking me everywhere.

blog still disappearing.