exercise movement brings me here into present. exercise is an internal massage on a cellular level. i'm feeling all twitchy. i'm feeling everything moment to moment. anger sadness calm nervous everything the entire spectrum. since feelings are chemicals i can take herbs. i can drink water eat chips. i already ate mush with quick and slivered almonds. no effect. or i can stay with the feelings. harsh.
i made it over to lucky's double points free chobani coffee creamer. fresh turkey drumstick $2. no idea how i want to cook it.
10 am cesar 911 rescued dogs. pound puppies. helping others is symbolically helping yourself. giving yourself what you never got from your family what you need. my family could never understand helping others unless they got paid.
my right hip hurting. frequently everything hurts but one pain is strongest and the other pains don't consciously register.
i'm dealing with the fear my sisters may kill me. both were instrumental in the deaths of my parents maneuvering and manipulating. and mom threatened to kill me enough times for me to feel fear. no wonder i feel depressed. not a lot of joy at home.
somehow my anxiety over doctors visits is linked to them. admitting it my tailbone is throbbing. huh, pain in my bum.
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