i grew up afraid mom would kill one of us. i can't remember a happy time. one where i was happy in the family. i've been happy away from the family. any attempt to express happiness was met with criticism and sarcasm.
acknowledging and embracing the fact i can feel my muscles relaxing my stomach un-clenching.
when nit was 2-3 she said she was going to run away. must have been a weekend no one else home. i knew at 7-8 i couldn't do anything to change her mind so i offered to make her sandwiches for when she got hungry. 2 peanut butter jelly. she decided she could run away anytime. maybe she was just hungry. i don't know. i was just trying to survive.
today's daily word forgiveness i thought was dentists at 1 pm. it's everything.
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