how would i know the news, tv, blog, cut off from the world. fear is only in my mind. well, actually body. fear of being with my family. abuse is definitely stored in the tissues. all the tight muscles are a record of every hurt left unexpressed unacknowledged.
i thought of going to mountain view cooling center 1-7 if i got too hot or uncomfortable. i had it planned just in case and i didn't need it. nice knowing i could though. my family i could never depend on and i learned to take better care of myself in every way and they hated me for it. thinking outside the herd.
i never liked the way machine drying my clothes felt so i air dried them on hangers. the electricity made my skin feel creepy crawly and the fabric limp. my mom tried it and complained of rust i used cl r. i had to tell her to use plastic hangers not metal. then she complained on the shoulders being bumpy so i had to explain using pins to hold the shoulders in place. how simple and obvious.
i considered pick up drop off libraries but i can do that this week when i pay bills.
the rice and beans i heated, prepped tortillas with swiss and cream cheese, shredded lettuce. rolled burritos. the beans had a rock. i spit out one mouthful. now i know why the manischewitz 4 bean packages were on clearance sale. not sorted. so not a convenience. i can mix my own presorted beans. i never thought about it. the flavors are different when mixed. needs no seasoning.
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