Tuesday, September 25, 2018

KARAOKE KIDS

I MET ERIC 1992 WHILE WAITING FOR TRAFFIC TO CLEAR.  I WAS WORKING IN PALO ALTO AND LOS ALTOS BAR AND GRILL HAD K KIDS.  I WAITED AN HOUR TERRIFIED I'D BE CALLED.  I WAS AFRAID OF THE MICROPHONE.  MY HOUR WAS UP AND I LEFT.  NEXT TIME I SAW THEM WAS SARATOGA ART WINE.  THEY WERE ONLY TAKING KIDS SIGN UPS.  I THOUGHT I HAD COMPLETED MY PART.  I WAS WILLING.

THE COURSE IN MIRACLES SAYS THAT'S ALL THAT'S NECESSARY.

ERIC WAS STARTING A NEW CLUB IN WILLOW GLEN A BLOCK FROM WHERE I WAS LIVING.  I DECIDED TO TRY THERE.  ALWAYS GOING THE EXTRA MILE.  I HAD A PANIC ATTACK AND PERSEVERED.  FROM THERE I FOLLOWED TO MOUNTAIN VIEW AND SAN JOSE.  HE BECAME MY CAR MECHANIC AND WAS A MAGICIAN.  BEING JAPANESE I UNDERSTOOD HIS LIFE AND HISTORY.  HE WITNESSED HIS FATHER BEING BRUTALLY KILLED BY A DRUNK IN 1998 THE WEEK AFTER ERIC BECAME ENGAGED.  HE WAS THE BROTHER I DIDN'T HAVE AND ALWAYS WANTED.

HE DIED LAST YEAR 10 DAYS AFTER HIS 61 BIRTHDAY.  I DREAMED OF HIM AND AWOKE SOBBING.  IT WAS CLEAR FROM THE DREAM HE DIED THE DAY HIS FATHER WAS KILLED.  IN THE DREAM HE DIED IN A TRAFFIC ACCIDENT WHILE ACTUALLY I VISITED HIM IN O'CONNOR 3 X THE WEEK BEFORE HE DIED.  I'M STILL MOURNING.

I'M SAD WE HAVEN'T HAD HAPPIER LIVES.

AND NOW I KNOW WHY I BOUGHT THE CAR 6-30.  ERIC DIED 6-13 AND LOUISE HAY 8-30.  AND I REVISITED AFFIRMATIONS.


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