nausea, pain. depression. i want to run away.
care givers are born. it can be learned. care givers are special. i'm watching 9 Christmas collection movies. nothing like the depressed violent childhood i experienced.
tooth bothering me.
chrome freaking out too. screen blacked out froze. i'm doing my best one step at a time. i've been here before i want it to end.
9:30 i can understand suicide. the emotional pain is worse than physical. can't jump out of your skin. no amount of drugs, exercise, alcohol helps, only postpones the pain. only feeling and waiting for it to lessen, dilute transmute in body.
i just put together tina turner chain of events. her son craig witnessed the ike abuse shot himself 7/4/2018 year after eric died while i was buying car. anniversary of tina's 7/4 escape from ike. tina died 6 months after ronnie her youngest son died of cancer complications. we're all connected. chain of pain.
no wonder i feel like crap. watched another harry spare prince interview this time anderson cooper. just look at great grandfather for the truth. another spare. like me.
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