i stayed in bed nothing on tv. unlike 2001 i feel ok and have cooked food. i stopped everything when eric died. he was me i could observe and pray for a better life. when he died my hope for a heaven on earth was set back. evaporated. eric died his father's death.
b'fast was cooked veg chick garlic toast. lunch i added lemon cake. feeling guilty. like life is too good. i got used to giving away the best from mom always taking everything i loved to give to my sisters or to throw away. why i don't know. i made myself crazy trying to think insanely. ouch. and they threw me away too. took 3 pieces of lemon cake to unlock that nugget. make that particular truth palatable.
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