getting real

ah, i had hoped to recover from hurting my back but it's been 20 years and i have to start planning what i can do now forgetting my old life.   

i dropped the recharging flashlight and a button fell off.  took me half hour taking it apart i fixed it.  i'm back.

came home 11:45 for the end of 'f troop'.  woke at 5 and i'm feeling tired.  seniors 8:45 showered exercised computed.  i must be healing.  processing toxins and remodeling scar tissue uses a lot of energy.  scar tissue is stronger than undamaged tissue.

i enjoy reading my blog.  i can see my progress.  i'm ready to surrender my dream of living here happily.  i had a pain filled miserable childhood here.  a worse adulthood nursing the parents.  as a child of 8 i cooked and kept house so that part was familiar.  working full time to pay my bills and hauling them around to doctors and shopping was too much.  

i may never be happy here.  eh, with god all things are possible.  so happiness is inevitable.

'avengers endgame' is a football game.  'concentration' is thinking flexibility.