Saturday, September 18, 2021

i sat hot tub

20 minutes.  i still feel tired, sick and know i'm ok based on past.  i went gym-2 8 am.  i considered cutting cactus and decided too much today.  maybe tomorrow.  the water feels so good.  so healing.  i stretched everything out.  my tailbone, neck, right temple so sore.  parts of my skull feel bruised.  i sat lap pool to cool down.  bug ate bite from suit.  so weird.  time for embellishment.  this is suit 2.  the other is missing.  my thieving sisters.

11:30 i decided to go sunny vale $tore for c drops, amber m wash, found infinity scarf, toothpaste.  cooked hamburger patties.  so good on bread i ate 4.  

8:30 pm i just realized i'm processing getting my family off my back this life and all the way back in time.  my symptoms now are what i experienced after carrying dad to emergency 3 times.  i didn't have time to feel staying vigilant, working to pay my bills and trying to live some kind of life.  i didn't have the time or energy to feel.  it was a luxury i couldn't afford.  


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