alarm lessons

the check light out again.  my fears are lessening with the lessons.  maybe eric saying hello.  he is a tease.  i called carlos no answer.  

11:42 i'm sitting in the parking  lot eating my pretty good lunch missing the gals wondering if they'd come and eat in their cars when cathy calls from hawaii to thank me for val card, happy pres day.  how perfect is this?  i have company.  

i saw walter and we talked an hour.  he didn't want any extra weekend food. i finished computing and went to sara lucky's for my free caffeine ice and checked on chocolate.  3 clearance 70 % off.  i remembered i wanted restroom and clearance pork $1.38.  i went to main to compute and realized to check lawrence lucky's.  i bought 4 clearance chocolate and traded flavor ice to one i wanted.  

gives me shivers when i get what i want.  life has been harsh because of my training.  things have been falling over which makes me more comfortable like the familiar.  i repaired old sweater.  i stretched 3 times and each time popping and cracking.

when life is too good i feel depressed and sad waiting for my sisters or mom and dad to steal it from me.  what they did best.  through 'happy brain' the issue was the chemicals they got from feeling superior to me.  it was never about the things they stole.  i had a sad, horribly tortured childhood.  they were just being animals.  nothing personal.  cruelty addicts getting their high.