WORKING MY WAY OUT

WHEN I WAS MARRIED I DID EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO STAY MARRIED.  ALMOST DROVE MYSELF CRAZY.  FOR A WHILE I WAS CRAZY BELIEVING I COULD SAVE MY MARRIAGE.  THEN I REALIZED I DIDN'T HAVE A MARRIAGE.  I'D BEEN LIVING IN A TISSUE PAPER CASTLE OF LIES.  I DIDN'T HAVE A HUSBAND I HAD A SON 6 YEARS OLDER THAN ME.

PART OF IT WAS THE POT.  WHEN WE MET IN COLLEGE I SMOKED SOCIALLY.  I THINK ONE REASON HE MARRIED ME WAS I NEVER OUT OF POT.  I WAS AN EXCELLENT HOMEMAKER.  HE TRIED SELLING IT BUT JUST SMOKED IT ALL HIMSELF.  FIRST THING IN THE MORNING LAST THING AT NIGHT.  AND I WAS SO SELF SUFFICIENT WHEN WE MARRIED HE QUIT HIS JOB.  HE IMMEDIATELY FORGOT HOW TO COOK, DO LAUNDRY, SHOP, CLEAN.  HE BECAME COMPLETELY DEPENDENT AND I BECAME TOO BUSY WORKING, GOING TO SCHOOL, TAKING CARE OF BILLS.  WE'D FIGHT ONCE A MONTH, HE'D PROMISE TO DO BETTER AND I WAS TOO COMMITTED TO STAYING MARRIED.

TEN YEARS LATER DURING COUPLES COUNSELING I REALIZED HE'D SPENT ALL HIS TIME AND ENERGY CHEATING ON ME.  HE WAS SO GOOD AT LYING HE CONVINCED THE PhD COUNSELOR IT WAS MY FAULT.  MADE ME FEEL LESS STUPID SINCE I ONLY HAD A BACHELOR DEGREE.  DR. ELINOR MILNE FOUND OUT WHEN HE ANNOUNCED HIS SOLUTION TO REBUILD OUR MARRIAGE WAS QUITTING COUNSELING AFTER TWO YEARS AND GOING TO THE MOVIES ONCE A WEEK.  LASTED ONE WEEK AND I STARTED DIVORCE RESEARCH.

IT STARTED ME SEARCHING FOR ANSWERS TO MY DISASTROUS MARRIAGE.  I KNEW I'M SMARTER THAN THAT AND I'D HAVE TO HELP MYSELF.  I WAS A RAGING CO-DEPENDENT.  I'M STILL LEARNING TO BE INTER-DEPENDENT.

AND ONCE AGAIN I HAVE TO EXTRICATE MYSELF FROM THE SOURCE OF MY PROBLEMS; MY FAMILY.
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10;43 LONG LINE FOR THURS, GOOD FRI, SAT MEALS.  AND I HAVE SVP MEDIUM SIGNAL.

NOON COVID UPDATE CAL GOVERNOR NEWSOM FISHING SEASON POSTPONED AND ADDITIONAL ONLINE SUPPORT AND HOT SPOTS.  MAKING MITZI'S EXCUSE TO RUMMAGE BOGUS.