FINALLY

I DID IT AGAIN, MY SELF-SABOTAGE OF  SCARING MYSELF BY MISPLACING AND THINKING I'VE LOST MY PURSE, OR PHONE OR WHATEVER.  I GOT IT FROM MOM.  SHE WAS ALWAYS AMBUSHING ME, CAUSING ME PAIN.  DAD TOO TO A LESSER DEGREE, HITTING ME FROM BEHIND IN THE HEAD WITH A ROLLED UP NEWSPAPER.  MOM WAS HANDS ON.  HITTING OR PINCHING WHILE YELLING. 

I WAS ACCUSTOMED TO A CERTAIN LEVEL OF  PAIN.  I LEARNED TO ANTICIPATE THEM AND TOLERATE THEM AND NOW I CREATE IT FOR MYSELF TO NOT MISS THEM.