i exercised and stretched early. said hi to table and toke, ate my lunch in car listening to healing. decided to try calling tom. i expected to get v mail but he picked up. he kept saying he was worried. said he'd call me back he was going back to work. we'll see. not holding my breath. i'm living my autism.
got home 12:30 watched 'medium. heated quorn and soup. i was still hungry from tiny lunch. getting smaller and smaller. added chicken and can corn to soup.
rested watching 'poirot'.
my autism? for the first time i enjoyed thanks break. it gave me time to just be without criticism. and yet the new behavior of getting a ride to my check up comes with fear. i was always punished for most of my life and i'm afraid the habituated behavior will cause me to punish myself. may be what Cathy is doing with her stomach problems.
when mankind rapes the planet the results are global warming, covid, swine flu, bird flu, ebola, sars and it will continue until the ignorant builders learn to change the planet with respect.
i went to sunny vale and detoured to dollar store. from there i decided to go to gym 1.
i went to library to return movie that wouldn't play and borrowed 'Waltons' finally. i looked for 'Spencer's Mountain' no one has it. i considered going to gym and as i drove past st j picked up 2 bags of groceries. liquid smoke leaked strong smell. i started going to gym and remembered freebie egg bites at lucky's and bought broccoli. i forgot stamps again. so i came home, put away food watched 'concentration'. i decided i can go to gym tomorrow. i don't want to drive.
watching 'all about eve' is about human predators who never feel love or compassion. they lie and manipulate to acquire what they believe will make them happy but they are never happy. happiness isn't in things. material things are only symbols. they don't feel love and compassion so they are never able to feel happy. they hate and envy anyone who is happy.
capitalism is a predator system. the most successful predators acquire the most money without regard for the results of their actions. they destroy what stands in their way.
i thought yesterday was sat day because seniors closed. soaking in the hot tub relaxed me and talking with Walter for hour and half distracted me. so i forgot 'wheel' bonus puzzle entry until i was watching a new 'jeopardy' 7 pm. and i didn't feel guilty or stupid when i remembered it was Thursday. big win.
and today i decided to watch original 'concentration' and 'now you see it' 6-7 am 'classic concentration' 10 am. 'f troop' 11, noon 'medium' 'til 1. then i went to s v library for internet before 'wheel' 2 pm cut off. it was too slow for computing and gaming so i went to gym 2 and soaked stretched, home by 3. i carved turkey. my stomach upset at all the croissants i'm eating. my rheumatoid arthritis keeps me from over indulging.
i don't know. messages are showing up that have nothing to do with what i'm doing. yesterday's page wouldn't open and i bought chocolate croissant ate 2 toasted. so good. today i bought clearance bear claw bites and minis. and a half already roasted turkey breast. at seniors i called to check gift cards having been disappointed by my family and friends so so many many times i don't trust. and i still have $6.29 on card. i called care more for benefits and scheduled ride to yearly check up next month. i get 2 free round trips and unlimited doctors' uber trips.
yesterday i found tom's moon day v mail when i charged phone and usage alert. i'll call 27th phone time reset. when i think of all the times i rescued him and all the times he let me down i feel irritated. he wanted me to need him and failed me so so many many times.
i realized i can nuke veg and brown in toaster oven for roasted flavor without time the way i used to cook dad's potatoes.
alien and Cathy hated reading their journals while i've enjoyed seeing how much i've accomplished. i never thought i'd live past 16. mom threatened to kill me so so many times. once would have been enough. mom loved alien the liar manipulator. makes me wonder if Cathy is the replacement. she admitted she moved to Hawaii expecting a big inheritance. i wasn't paying attention.
thanks 11/25-i watched classic concentration and went to gym 2 planning to leave 12:30 to get to St Clare by 1. i got there early and as i walked up to a line Walter came around the corner. we talked 'til 2:30. so i didn't compute. i came straight home with small turkey, stuffing, cranberry, roll, cookie, veg. glad i didn't take 2. they ran out of food.
Walter is missing his dad. i'm blessed i don't miss the wolf pack.
feels like sat day so i forgot wheel until watching a new jeopardy. so i didn't die from my mistake. i'm ok.
i shampooed, showered, exercised, stretched then upstairs to compute and game. "let go, let god" i picked up lunch. i suddenly love playing mah-jongg. fry day i played 2 hours straight.
toke is better. the back issue kept her heavy she's looking thinner and walking better despite the pain. she used to have that obese rolling gait.
Eddie Murphy marathon; 'golden child' 1 pm, 'Pluto Nash' 3, 'meet Dave' 5. Heaven.
