Thursday, July 17, 2025

childhood flashbacks

intrusive memories of mom burning me.  when I was maybe 8 one of the grandparents died and she suddenly became religious.  she set up a Shinto alter and used me to expiate everyone's sins by putting incense on my hand and lighting it in some ritual.  if I moved or made a sound she's start all over.  I learned to detach to survive earning her labeling me inhuman when she was the monster.  

so when Walter suffers I understand.  that's what hurts me regarding Eric's tragic death.  the torture he suffered as a child continued til it killed him.

I have such a stress headache from my neck.  

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