i need to eat. protein bar. i do my best to be responsible. my life has always depended on being responsible. i'm so tired. i've spent a lifetime in fear feeling anxious. no wonder i'm exhausted. i could never trust my family to care for me I still can't. i have never had anyone but my grandma, my jealous mom gave me to sister alien so she hated me. she had no childhood either.
i've been lying in bed stretching. i'm usually too tired to stretch i just lie here. and i keep napping and dreaming. lovely. feeling rested. well that didn't last long. i'm usually running around doing to avoid feeling. like workaholics alcoholics any-holics running from scary painful feelings. eating changes chemistry and feelings so a country of obese avoiders. we have to eat to survive. mom was always overweight dad boney. no balance. i have to find my own healthy happy way.
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