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I FEEL SO DIFFERENT.  NOT LIKE MYSELF AT ALL.  CHANGE IS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE.

I'M TRYING TO THINK OF A FRAME FOR THE WEED EATER I COULD USE SO I DON'T HAVE TO CARRY IT.  TOO HARD ON MY BACK, NECK, SHOULDERS.  I DON'T KNOW HOW I MANAGED IN THE PAST.  IT'S KIND OF A MIRACLE I SURVIVED AT ALL.

SOMETHING THAT SUSPENDS IT A CERTAIN DISTANCE FROM THE GROUND.

WHEN I THINK OF CLEANING GUTTERS IN THE POURING RAIN, UP ON LADDERS I CRINGE.  YET I DID IT.  THE DEBRIS WAS WET AND PLIABLE.  IT TOOK ME HOURS MOVING THE LADDER A BIT AT A TIME.

I COULD BARELY MOVE AND SAT AND CUT WEEDS BY HAND.  OF COURSE, I COULDN'T EVEN HOLD A BOOK TO READ, MY HANDS DIDN'T WORK.  I GUESS I WAS BORED LITERALLY OUT OF MY MIND.

AMAZING WHEN THERE'S NO ALTERNATIVE.

8 pm.  GETTING READY FOR TOMORROW I PROMISED RUTH BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY, NOMINATED FOR 5 OSCARS.  I COULDN'T FIND BLOCKERS.  I SPENT AN HOUR RETRACING MY STEPS.  I HAD IT IN THE CAR TO RETURN.  I THINK I NEED THE JOLT.  IT'S FULL MOON AND I FEEL ENERGIZED.  I REALIZED EVERY MISTAKE, MISSTEP I MAKE TAKES ME BACK TO MOM'S THREATS OF KILLING ME.  SHE WAS FILLED WITH SO MUCH HATE.  MAKES ME SAD AND FULL OF ADRENALINE TO RUN AWAY.