couldn't sleep

new month?  new me?  developmental leap?  watched movies.   

my back and legs especially sore from cutting kiwi.  i forgot.  i was feeling depressed and weak when it's natural from the extra strain.  i'm ok.  whew!

third rock

the alien relationships are my family.  they are weird like my family without purposely hurting anyone.  i hoped my family hurt me by accident but i know they hurt me on purpose to diminish and control me.  poisons everyone.  

i finally watched avatar: way of water.  another tale of humans destroying a planet for greed.  only 3 hours of destruction and death.  i'm feeling disappointed.  the movie was an expensive ode to global warming.  it opens with humans torching the land.

lunch by jeanie

2 spam musubi crunchy in shell peanuts and blue/white crocheted scrubber.  she came early 8 am to senior pool like a private club only 3 people 3 pools.  she had entire 3 lanes of lap pool to herself.  left 10 stopped front of river mark safe way shopped clearance and sales.  late for library happy birds parrot show 300 people too crowded for me anyway.  3 movies mini book sale.  

having time and cool 67 degree covered parking i added registration sticker to car plate.  done and done.  so lovely relaxed now.  i was feeling so tense and guilty for having fun.

more rest to balance exercise

finished the monster puzzle, home 2 pm rested more and slept better.   

no lucky's freebie today feels weird.

back to waking 2-3 times- kiwi i cut back-no bartolo

3rd rock gospel music episode 'god is trying to call me.'  i did dream 2 nights ago about reflexology.  swimming most importantly feet massage message.

came home 2 pm noticed next door kiwi over grown roof took an hour to remove.  no bart this month.

watching 3rd rock

i'm remembering, re doing 1996-2001.  dad going into decline, dying 1999 and mom suddenly year half later.  alien orchestrated both deaths.  she took a month to set them up.  she manipulated their emotions playing them like puppets.  she used what mom taught her.  she got so professional with a lifetime of practice.  guilt will take care of my step sisters.  

i'm adapting and adjusting.  i started packing up for home 3:30.  i almost fell.  i was too tired and tripped into a wall or i'd have hit the ground.  i'm living and learning.

home

another hot day i swam, lunched, puzzled 'til 2 went to library 'til 5.