Doing new things-Mtn View Library-can't get in to type-update tue

It's been a rocky ride/as opposed to rocky road

Life has been particularly scary this entire month.  I'm talking the last 30 days. 

( this won't double space the paragraphs)  and the dude next to me is mumbling to himself. 

Going to that wedding started a whole new energy flowing.                                                             

So I'm sitting here in the Sunnyvale library waiting for the book sale to begin at 1.  Got here at 11:55 to get parking.  Found one in shade!!!!  People who hang at libraries, we must all be weird.  The lady across from me is reading her emails?? out loud.  I know she's not skyping.                                          

I'm doing new things, feeling new things.                                                              

Tomas invited me to San Pedro Market to hear Dave Burroughs' play in celtic/irish group.  I guess they're all the rage now.  Dave is so much more comfortable and seems happier playing the violin.  Makes me want to play too.  I might I might not.

I called Fri. about jury duty.  It's been 9 yrs since the last summons.  Bought the car with the alarm so I could find it quickly.  I'm sooo much healthier now.                             
I like this rainbow effect.

That time again+update 9*14*13

Been out of sorts.  Tomas helped, taking me to Half Moon Bay and today, this a m  I realized tomorrow is dad's 14th deathiversary. 

I can't figure out why this one has spell check and sometimes depending on how I get in I guess I just have to wing it.

It's actually 9*14*13. Seems like months since I went to half moon.  So much has been going on inside me and my body is changing.  I can do what I want and go where I want and I'm discovering those things.  I want to BE the best ME I can BE. 

This is incredible. 

Error on page-wouldn't let me write

 

Today is 8/16/13-Friday

I managed to write the heading but couldn't access the blog body on 8/6/13. 

So today it's still doing weird things.   Didn't want to capitalize or enlarge.  I don't know why it went bold but I like it.  It doesn't want to do more than one thing and I have to insist. 

I came in directly from the internet, no google search first. 

Feels rather good, knowing I'm findable.

I love coffee.  It's wonderful drinking the stuff again.  I missed it.  It used to give me heart palpitations.  Did for years.  I can drink decaf.  And tea for my caffeine.

Reincarnation-Success-Genie out of the Bottle

Always hated the idea of reincarnation as an inefficient way of God running the Universe.  How assanine to have to keep redoing the third grade.

In 1981 I was ready to get my divorce.  I retained a lawyer and found I couldn't physically fill out the paperwork.  I'd break out in a cold sweat and get so nauseated I was afraid I'd vomit on the forms.  I knew it was psychosomatic so I called Hayward Kaiser and booked an appointment with Dr Eidelshink.  He listened to my story of betrayal for the last 10 years and that we'd gone to counseling and the continuation of betrayal and disappointment.  Towards the end of the 50 minutes he said he'd like to try something.  He hypnotized me with a posthypnotic suggestion that I find the cause of my resistance to ending an obviously doomed relationship.  He recommended I practice relaxation(self-hypnosis) three times a day and like the model patient I did so.

I was overworked managing two stores for Goodwill of Greater East Bay.  A had gotten tickets to an Association for Research and Enlightenment seminar at the Oakland Airport Marriott Hotel, a command performance.  She enticed me with my not having to do anything.  She'd pick me up and pay for everything. On arriving she connected with some people and I was off the hook.  I met a woman my age.  Our husbands were almost twins.  They lied and cheated everyone.  She had to pretend they were living together and not married.  He played around like X.   She wanted to go to the class on reincarnation.

Not believing in reincarnation, I accompanied her.  The past life regression hypnotist admonished that rather than having a bad, negative or uncomfortable experience nothing would happen.  So when I fell asleep I didn't think twice about it because 1) it didn't exist and 2) I was exhausted from working 70+ hours a week.The next a.m., Sunday, I had an epiphany,  filled out the papers, went to work and kept my Monday morning appointment with Dr Eidelshink.  I asked his opinion about reincarnation.  Either it existed or I was a major loony.  He said it didn't matter what he thought, only if my life was manageable.  I relayed my success with filling out the papers and finally seeing the end of the hell my life had been.

He recommended we book next week's appointment just in case and if anything serious came up I could always rely on him.  If I didn't need the appointment I could cancel.  I was fine.

simply outrageous

Been mourning dad and the fact that his thick blood condition could have been helped by drinking more h2o. How simple would that have been, but then he wouldn't have spent $ on coumadin.  And had brain bleeding and aggravated his diabetes and high blood pressure.

How much of life is simply ridiculous??

Been watching all the episodes of One Foot in the Grave.  Richard Wilson points out the series is concerned with the other foot.  I find it funny that he complains all the time and gets punished for his attitude like dad and never learns, like dad again.

Makes me cry

I've been helping Sidney with his bad foot like dad had except Sidney has gout r/t diabetes.  So I know all about gout.  Gave him foot massager ($2.50 at Salvation Army).  He invited me to lunch I picked Fri.

My parents were never grateful or giving.  I had to struggle for everything from them.  After Sidney went upstairs to the computer room.  I started crying at the puzzle table.  I got up and went to the ladies.

There is No Excuse for their behavior.

I let go and let God.  I'm tired of crying.